Vignette: Weighed My Balls on a Kitchen Scale

This girl kicked me out of her house.... just cause she caught me weighing my balls on her  kitchen scale…

(423 grams btw.)

I whipped my balls out, started weighing them, she walks into the kitchen, and does this:

I freeze... and do this right back at her:

Then she proceeds to scream and yell at me, tells me to get out of her house...

What da fuck did I do? The reason I weighed them at her house was 'cause I don't have a scale at my place and it was just lying there... I swear it called my name...

This same girl just caught me blow drying my penis after a shower and asked me what I was doing.  Apparently "heating your dinner" was not the right answer.

Vignette: 715 lbs x 12 deadlifts

So I  decided to push my dead lifting off till Saturday so I could be rested and prepared...

I was in the zone... beast mode.. I did 12 Singles with 715 Pounds Deadlift (no belt - 60 second rest periods).  I surprised even myself.

The whole gym stopped and stared  lol

Of course the fact that I was making noises like a silverback gorilla getting fucked and turning purple may have had something to do with the stares... but I would rather think they were admiring

Earlier in the week this fat chick from the gym had invited me over that night for spaghetti Saturday night... I went even tho I could barely move from dead lifting my balls off  

went like this.....:

her: do you want a blowjob?
Mule: no thanks i'm not really in the mood maybe later
her: you sure? because i dont really have anything to do.
Mule: nah i'm good
her: i mean if it's because i use too much teeth i can call up my friend to give you one. i heard she gives great bjs.
Mule: no really i don't want a bj right now
her: well if you want one i'll just be in the kitchen

btw for background .. I  had spotted her Wednesday  on the hamster-wheel while she was working the cellulite off her gigantic ass whilst I was squatting 6 plates a side and teabagging the ground during the week....

yes i know i know, what am i doing with such a whale.. but she makes a killer of a sammich...shes a complete beluga whale but she's a great cook (Italian) and got some big DD's so I broke her over and wrecked it like it was going out of style in the sauna (you just got to put an "out of order" sign on the door) on Wednesday and she invited me over to her place out of graditute for me fukcing her even tho she's way below my usual standards ...

 I would have  liked to reverse cowboy and tittie fuk them great big titties while she tongued  my bung hole... but I was  too tired last night tho

Vignette: Football players =/= BB: We kick ass!

I'm a football player which means I'm a built for sex.  If you're just a  bodybuilder then you are built for show. You are useless other than standing on a stage looking good in your underwear.  I got  functional muscle and strength.  I got the  bigger chest  and I got big traps for lifting and for pumping that bitch. I was a div 1 a college jock from 2004-2008. I got  practical sexual strength.  Like my football player booty. I have magnificent buttocks, it's all that deadlifting.  

Girls compliment my ass all the time  They like a big round muscle  ass that can generate thrusting power and pound the living bejesus out of them. An epic male muscle butt  like mine beats abs for picking up chicks every time, serious.  A big ass also makes you look 'powerful as phuck'. In fact it makes you 'powerful as phuck'...naturally.... I got massive glutes. I think this explains the explosiveness and speed in Negroes... very serious about that.  Strong glutes make you a good sprinter, strong puncher, strong kicker, etc. No homo but look at sprinters' asses... all of em big!  Most black bbers have these long big glutes that stick out and white ones have pancake glutes.

I, myself, was blessed with 'negro glutes' even though I'm white.  I have been complimented on my ass by girls at least as much as any other body part!

Vignette: Goals/Aspirations:

Goals/Aspirations: When I was a young boy in Grade 6 I remember going to the history museum and seeing this statue of Zeus. And as I was standing there mesmerized by the statue I could hear my teacher telling the class that we could be anything we wanted to be. That instant I decided I wanted to become a Greek god. From that moment on I was in the gym every day, taking my multi and lifting heavy. By the time I was in middle school I was already a straight up beast. I was making year 8 girls’ panties wet when I would walk down the corridor, and every beta phaggot in the school was mirin' my jacked fibras*. My goal in life is to have the ability to make every vagina in the building flow like the Nile. When I walk into the club I want to see every chick ravage one another to get a glimpse of my aesthetics, and hope that by the end of the night they are the one I choose to make my bedroom acrobat. That's what keeps me going; that desire to be a gift from above to women and an example of what the human body can do.

*striated sinews, muscle fibers