Mule's Blog: September 2017

Saturday, September 30, 2017

Musings from Valhalla: Morning Reflections from the Mule

Morning reflections...

Yeah, I have not been active here for over a month, but I blame EDIT BRAH who has been dealing with life issues and hurricanes, not that I have given him anything to edit, but he still has not been doing squat for the blog in a month. Besides he is frail, homely and puny, while I am big, strong and handsome, and thus it is only fitting that HE take the fall for the long quiescence. I think we can all agree on this, right?

Yeah, I thought we'd agree on this!

As for me, I have been busy being an amazing lawyer, hunting and banging sloots! I did do some Hurricane Help work in Houston and engaged in Herculean Humanitarian Efforts ( I Hulk Smashed structures that had to come down!)

Shot of me in Houston...

My motto!

Well no good deed goes unpunished, and as a result of my Herculean Humanitarian Efforts, I was put under watch by the CDC and WHO for Pigeon Breeder's Disease or as the guys in the Hazmat suits and big needles put it “hypersensitivity pneumonitis” and for days I was quarantined in my Condo eating snacks, watching FOOTBALL and playing VIDEO GAMES. I was forbidden from using the Internet because of transmitting it as a computer virus, and thus this was responsible for some of my inactivity. Alright MOST of this is true... totally out of character, I know, but I might have exaggerated slightly with a few of details of the story, but the essence of the story is true, and I am standing by it!

Anyways, no silly little PIGEON POX is going to take down a strapping specimen of manhood like your Mule, so I was unaffected by this pigeon plague, and was able to go hunting as planned. Now before you go all sobbing because you watched Bambi too many times, I have to tell you I look, damn good in camo, DAMN GOOD!

That's what SHE SAID!

Alright now that I have you slobbering instead of sobbing, I can continue with my story.

So anyways, after I was declared safe to be among puny mortals again, I headed naturally to the gym to get my muscles primed for adventure.

Doctor said I was fit for duty!

So I went on my hunting adventure, the first day in the field was a disappointment, no deer, and I ended up doing some squirrel target practice. So I went out for a night on the town in the rustic settlement to forget about my unsatisfactory first day with some food, drink and slooting. Now I knew the prospects for the latter would be slim given the size of the community, but heck you never know. As it turned out, at the restaurant there was a gal bussing tables who was pleasing specimen with a nice rack, and I don't mean of lamb. She was deaf, and carried around this note pad for communication purposes. Now Mule is not prejudiced against the hearing impaired, and since it meant she didn't talk too much unlike most chicks, I considered it an asset.

She was a nimble little minx in the sack, although with the sounds she made, sex sounded like clubbing a sea lion. But all in all I was more than satisfied, and if she lived local rather than out in the boonies, she would definitely be given a prime position in the rotation as a regular. I still do have that opening in the #3 spot, but I am very picky about who gets into the upper echelons. I can only give #3 1 day/week max, so she also can't be clingy and demanding. When you are me, Time Management is essential. I am in no rush to fill the #3 spot, let me tell you, the interviewing process is EXHAUSTIVE!