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| ~art by Enrique Nieto Nadal~ ~The Krewe of Hypertrophy Mardi Gras Parade~ New Orleans, Louisiana |
Story by Mule, edits by Stefan, original art by Enrique Nieto Nadal and Steve.
The normally quiet, almost sedate offices of the foremost Sports Law Firm in the Rocky Mountain states was in a dither. The cause was the loud, continuous ringing of a mechanical alarm bell. Lawyers and staff alike were searching high and low for the source.
It wasn't a fire alarm, it wasn't the intrusion alarm, it wasn't the alert that the building had lost power and switched on the emergency generator, what could it be? "Check the basement bomb shelter, it sounds like the poison gas alarm" suggested old man Davidson, at 94 years old, Of Counsel to the firm, and the oldest practicing attorney in the State of Colorado (well "practicing" may be overstating it a bit, his practice ostensibly was representing various railroads in Interstate Commerce Commission matters, but in actuality he just spent two hours a week in the office drinking coffee, since his care-givers wouldn't allow him to drink it at home. (And yes, dear readers and Andrew, I do know the ICC was dissolved in 1996, but Old Davidson doesn't.)
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| Who is this Mule people keep talking about, when did we start employing barnyard animals... what do you mean I have met him like 100 times! Don't tell me who I have met or haven't met, my memory is as fine as it ever was, where am I again? |
"It's the Telex machine alert!" exclaimed Ms. Betty as she hit the stairs to the basement. "Hah!" Mr. Mills snorted "And everyone told me to get rid of the Telex. See, I told you that email was just a fad!"
"It's for Mule!" Ms Betty shouted back up the dark stairwell as she tore the Telex off the machine. She wonders: "Who would send Mule a telex, all of HIS clients use 21st century devices..."
"Thou certainly know how to show a visitor a good time, Friend Mule. What a wonderful festival. So much better than the County Fair. This is something I will remember forever. Too bad I won't be able to share it with anyone back home!"
Pa spots a skinny dude escorting our float on horseback. It's one of the dudes from the Krewe of Priapus that provides the costumes checking up on us, to make sure we haven't had any wardrobe malfunctions.
"That's a fine looking horse, and I know horses. Excuse me, would thou mind if I ride him for a bit?" Pa asked, muscles rippling. From the love-sick puppy dog look on the gay dudes face, I doubt he would have refused Pa anything.
"Hand me some throws to take with me, friend Mule," Pa says as he mounts the horse and the skinny dude climbs up to take his place on the float.
Pa rides as escort for the float.
POP!!!! BANG. BANG. RATTLE-RATTLE. PSSSSSHHHH! CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK!!!!! And with that the float rocked to a full stop.
The flatbed pulling the rather primitive and crudely built float has had a catastrophic mechanical failure.
"The fuck?" I thought. "I haven't heard a noise like that since Scotty sabotaged the Excelsior's trans-warp drive in Star Trek III"
"Hah. Get a horse!" thought Pa. "I knew these gasoline engines were just fads. Thou just canst depend on them..."
But instead the impressively-built young black Cop insultingly calls their float a "Hayseed half-ass made in a barn float" and tells them that "You fucking muscle heads need to get that shit moving because you are holding up the rest of the parade!"
Pa jumps down off his horse and hauls the truck out of the way single-handed, which impresses the cop who, despite being a gym rat himself, is not used to seeing that kind of strength.
"I sense hostility from thou, friend. I hope I haven't offended thee somehow. I remember from my younger days how sensitive thou colored boys can be. It is understandable since the black skin marks thou as a descendant of Ham, and the curse on Ham and his descendants must cause thee such great shame and embarrassment. But I assure thee I hold no animosity towards negroes. Indeed, I pity them. " Pa said apologetically.
"What the fuck did you just say to me, you racist mutherfuka!!!?" sputtered the Cop, whose head seemed about to explode. Our jacked to the gills peace officer had gone from "pissed-off" to full Hulk-out caliber roid rage in less than 5.7 seconds. He looked mad enough to eat Arnold Schwarzenegger!
As this looked that it was going to be quite the show, I purchased some snacks from a nearby street vendor.
"I call referee! And I have just the outfit for it in my man bag." shrieks the costume- boi who had been patrolling the parade floats in case of wardrobe malfunctions, and was prepared for all sorts of clothing emergencies.
My ears picked up when I heard Pa mention Ham. Man, I sure could rock some pork rinds about now. I head back to get some Cracklins off that street vendor.
The competing Alpha males are like two bulls, snorting, pawing the ground, charging each other like animals and colliding like Mac trucks. They locked in combat, each man trying to get his opponent into a hold, intermittently halting the effort long enough to administer punches to each other.
Soon, the two musclemen end up locked together, in a battle of total body strength. Arms, legs, glutes and cores are recruited into the struggle for dominance. Both were grunting like Silverback gorillas, and the sound of solid steel hard muscle thudding into solid steel hard muscle echoed off the walls of the alley.
Pa's muscular upper physique opposed the Cop's huge bulging rock hard arms and shoulders, with a surge of forward power. But whenever Pa tried to bulldoze his powerful adversary backwards, he was opposed by an equal force. The Cop's resistance is amazing. They were stalemated! The pair were grinding their heavily muscled bodies together. Torsos banged. Neither was able to move the other, they stood cemented together, chest to chest, nipples to nipples, abs to abs, hard cock to hard cock, with rock hard bodies pressed together. They flexed and ground their huge rock hard jutting pecs, rippling abs, and swollen crotches together in an effort to break the standoff. Both of the hypermasculine males groaned involuntarily from the overwhelming erotic stimulation they experienced, mixed in with the grunts of exertion and the groans of pain. Still neither one could gain purchase on the other.
Both of the muscular titans were shocked at the strength of his opponent. Both were used to always being stronger than their opponents. But each muscleman appeared to be every bit as strong and powerful as the other in this test of strength. So far, they were at an impasse in this test of strength.
.
“I guess that they don't teach that hold at this 'Police Academy' you hold in such high esteem? That's odd, any Amish farm boy knows that one, a well as the counter... ” Pa asked, before he released the hold, which dumped his opponent onto the concrete. The young muscle stud Cop lay limply on the pavement, panting and moaning.
Costume Boy ogled the Cop’s big nine-inch dick as it was exposed to the light. The shaft stood out in stiff erection, revealing a set of low-hanging balls the size of duck eggs in a large smooth scrotum. Pa’s cock was even longer- ten and a half inches- and very thick, with a mushroom-shaped cockhead that looked like it was hard enough to poke a hole in Captain America's shield.
Pa, his own massively muscled chest heaving, twists his mighty torso back to look at the young Cop who let's out another yell as paralyzing pain from his trapped ankle shoots through his leg.
"Did thou thinkest that I had busted your ankle, muscle boy?" Pa asked calmly. "Don't worry, Son. I have too much respect for Officers of the Law to inflict any long lasting damage that would keep you from your duties to Protect and Serve the fine citizenry of this great City!"
Pa dropped the crippling ankle hold only to pull the massively-muscled Cop off the ground and onto his feet. The Cop manages with some difficulty to stand on his injured ankle. For a moment, The two nude chiseled muscle god’s stand facing each other. Covered with sweat, chests and abs heaving, eyes locked.
Then Pa steps into the muscular hunk, reaching around the Cop’s massive chest and locks his hands behind the he-man’s broad back. Pa flexes his massive arms and strains to crush his opponent in a bear-hug. Simply looking at his target’s powerfully sculptured chest and thickly muscled lats, Pa really should have known his power move attempt at crushing this young muscle stud, would be doomed from the start.
Pa strains and flexes with all his might but the muscle Cop grunts through clenched teeth: “Dude!” the black Hercules groans, “NO...FUCK'N WAY....you can put we away with that, big fellow. ! I told you this body of mine was invincible” the ebony titan grunts.
The young muscle stud doesn't even try to apply his own bearhug or to break out of Pa's. The super-cop wants to show that he can take the worse Pa has to offer.
I took the opportunity to obtain more snacks, I got a couple of MoonPies and a Barq's Root Beer.
The referee, Costume boi, watched intently as the Amish muscleman pressed his rock-hard body into the mighty muscle Cop. He could barely believe his lust filled eyes. The musclemen were grinding their huge pecs, their rippling abs, and even their swollen crotches together. Their stupendously muscled bodies glistened sensuously with sweat, as they struggled face-to-face, chest-to-chest, stomach-to-stomach, and shaft-to-shaft, with massive chests heaving and muscle guts sucking in air against one another. Ho-ly fuck! It was as hot-as-fuck. Costume boi was almost ready to shoot a load from the visual and olfactory stimulation.
Pa squeezes the black bodybuilder as hard as he can. Pa grunts, the Cop groans. But the mighty arms of the powerhouse Cop stay at his side. The Cocky Cop fights through the pain, determined to show Pa and everyone watching that he can take whatever Pa can dish out.
The cop began to reassess the situation: "We’ve been at this for a long time. I figured that was to my advantage, but somehow the old muscle man looks bigger, stronger and fresher than when we started. I can’t believe I’m wearing down before him! I need to change up my strategy..."
Both of the battling beefcake grapplers are covered in slick sweat from their superhuman exertion in the warm Louisiana sunshine. This works in favor of the black powerhouse as he found it possible to slip partially out of the Amish muscleman's headlock hold, and then break it altogether. As the same time, the skilled Cop grabs one of Pa tree-trunk legs and raises it off the pavement. Then the black grappler trips out the Mennonite muscle mountain's other leg, forcing the huge muscleman to fall face first onto the concrete.
Pa is face planted to the ground and mounted by the cop. Pa had went down hard, a magnificent brick shithouse doing a face plant in the pavement. His V-shaped back spread out, huge arms and legs and his massive mounds of ass all struggled to get up, but he didn’t move except for the heaving of his chest - he was pinned down solid. Pa had been brought down expertly like some dumb beast.
The Cop had surprised a stunned Pa by now gaining the upper hand in the fight, despite just having suffered injuries to his ankle in their exhausting battle!
With Pa lying sprawled chest down on the cement floor, he was an easy target for a knee drop. The Cop put all his 243 pounds of solid black muscle weight into one knee, bringing it down on the lower back of the naked muscle bull lying at his feet.
Even Pa's incredibly muscled body is definitely feeling the impact of the abuse he has received. He and the muscle stud Cop have been at it for a long time. Somehow the young muscle stud looks bigger, stronger and fresher than when they started The older muscleman realizes that he is wearing down faster than the young Alpha muscle pup.
"So I guess yo' KNOW just whoz ass you dealin wit now, pussaaaaay biatch? This black playa just kicked yo' big-ass white muscled ass, n' don't you eva forget it, you racist mutha fucker shit. And I be just gettin started!" The Cop boasted, feeling the thrill of besting his rival and filled with a sense of vindication and redemption.
The Cop released the hold and stood up to begin a series of kicks and stomps with his steel-toed cop boots, into Pa’s muscled packed body. However, he got only one stomp into Pa’s rock-hard musclegut, before his opponent grabbed his ankle with both hands and wrenched it painfully, twisting the already sprained ankle. The Cop cried out from the pain but surprised Pa by lifted his other foot, using it to grind Pa’s big nutsac into the pavement under the Cops’s boot heel. Pa's bull-sized gonads screamed in extreme pain.
“He got you in the nuts, Pa!” yelled Costume boi, the referee almost gleefully from the sidelines. “What are you gonna do about it?”
"I am very impressed, my Afrikan friend! It's been a very long time since another man has been able to manhandle and dominant me that way! Are all the members of thy tribe such mighty warriors?" a curious Pa asks.
"What da fuck are you going on about, you crazy old coot? My "tribe'? My tribe! I was born in Breaux Bridge, Louisiana you fool. C'est sa Couillon" he muttered in Cajun as he rolled his eyes. "And I got these muscles from wrestling at Northside High in Lafayette and playing football for the ULL Ragin Cajuns, and from lifting my ass off six days a week at Red Lerille's since I was in middle school. You actually think just because I'm black that I got this physique from swinging on vines naked in some Jungle like Mulezan and wresting hippos and lions and shit? Dude, you got to be the most deluded cooyon on the fucking planet!" the exasperated Cop ranted.
I took the opportunity to snag some Zapp's Spicy Cajun Crawtators Potato Chips, and some King Cakes and Pralines for dessert, and a Yoo-hoo to wash it all down, I had worked up quite the appetite, with all this spectating.
When I returned the fight seemed to be over, as both men were up and chatting, but just when I was about to ask another spectator what I missed, the action heated up again.
"Why does the musk of this sweaty muscleman smell and taste so good?"-- wondered the Cop. Suddenly, Pa slid his face across the sweaty lawn of hair on the thick slabs of his chiseled pecs, raised his left arm and shoved the black stud's face into the dark hollow of his other armpit. The Cop starts to bathe the pit with his mouth and tongue.
“Look at that huge fuckin’ boner,” the referee said in a raspy voice, licking his lips. "He must really like this...from the looks of that hard-on he is horny as hell" There was no doubt that the muscle stud Cop was was being owned, dominated and going into heat. His groans turned to moans and his huge throbbing iron hard dick gave away his true feelings. His dick so hard it was standing up hugging his eight pack abs. The he-man Cop is embarrassed by how hard his boner was.
With the black muscle god's face still firmly lodged in his left pit, Pa started playing with his nipples, thumbing the rubbery nubs until they were as hard as his cock, standing out erect and hard- a full three quarter inches tall and hard as nails. musky, masculine scent that assaulted his nostrils. The Cop was being owned, dominated and was going into heat. His shouts and groans turned to moans...
I see we’ve drawn a small crowd, Thou wanted this – and this is what thou gets.” Pa grunted then used his Dragon Sleeper to pull the massive body of the awesome Alpha muscle pup back until he was totally exposed and outstretched in the huge Amish powerhouse's arms. The Amish musclean leaning him back so that the young bull's huge chest and nipples pushed toward the sky while the big arms were limp beside his frame. Hanging, the formerly pompous policeman like a piece of beef, a stuffed toy won at a fair.
Pa grinned and then slapped the kid’s muscled ass. The Cop heard the laughter and cheers from the crowd. Pa had put the cocky young stud on display for the spectators.
The Cop is startled when he sees a set of massive arms start to wrap around his chest from behind as well as a giant rock chest against his own wide, strong back.Pa embracing the struggling Cop in a back bearhug embrace. The quickly realizes that he is unable to break the Amish Muscleman's embrace. "What da fuq is happening here!" he wondered in his predicament. "How da fuq can I be losing to this sorry crackah jus' off da farm, old-timah!" He had broken, and beaten many cajun country crackah's in his time, how could he lose to some Amish turn-da-utter-cheek-type!
"This move was quite popular with the small town crowds when I was wrestling pro. They would always cheer when a wrestler was split on the top rope. It didn't seem to matter if it was the heel or a face, the spectators would always cheer. We don't have a ring rope, but I have been able to quickly improvise a tolerable substitute from a board and some barrels here in this alley."
I rolled the KO'd cop over on his side to make sure he didn't swallow his tongue or some shit. After letting some time pass, I poured a cup of ice left over from my Mt Dew on him, to wake him up. It was almost time for the traditional clearing of the streets at midnight, by the we-stop-for-nothing French Quarter street sweepers. I figured I was going to have to talk him out of putting charges on Pa for assaulting a cop. But it turned out he as cool as fuck about it.
"So, you're from Breaux Bridge, huh?" I said. The Cop's response of mais oui launched a discussion of Cajun southwest Louisiana. A discussion that continued over a late night breakfast at the Camellia Grill, followed by a stop at Café du Monde for beignets and Chicory Coffee, with us finally ending up playing a game of Bouré back at the Cabildo. It turned out we knew a shit tonne of the same people, places and things. I introduced myself as Mule, and he introduced himself as Narcisse Tchadmèche, but everybody called him, Trey
Eventually as we discussed all the things we had in common over a bottle of Jack, a bucket of Popeye's and some cigars, we got to the subject of how we both had been thoroughly ass kicked by the Pa. I related my experience, putting as good a spin to it as I could so I wouldn't come across as a total pussy boy. I guess my version was pretty descriptive, because the GigaChad Cop's thundercock and my own donkey dick had both swelled into twin throbbing, leaking 9" rock hard erections.
Of course, as two aroused and somewhat inebriated alpha males, we had to prove which one of us was the boss. (Did you really think this was going to end up with us having tea and crumpets and talking about our feelings?)
The Cop bowed up against me, placing both his hands on my boulder shoulders. Like he had done unsuccessfully with Pa, he tired to bulldoze me with pure strength. He growled fiercely and shoved me backward, trying to get him me balance. I resisted the powerful shove however, and placed one foot behind me to brace himself. When I knew my balance was secure, I lifted my other knee to once again connect painfully with his bull sized nutsack. The Cop grunted, but the tough guard could take a lot of ball pain.
“That’s the last time you touch my nuts, phaggot,” said the Cop, and swung a powerful left fist that connected with my handsome head, sloshing my brain inside my gorilla thick skull and making me see stars. I managed to stay on my feet and curl my own bare hands into fists of steel, and throwing a powerful punch that fist-fucked the brick wall of abs protecting the Cop's belly and momentarily paralyzing his diaphragm.
“BOOM, bitch!” I yelled exuberantly as my punch folded my opponent almost in half. A lungful of air, and a mouth full of spit come flying out of his shocked, bug eyed face. as he was impaled by my massive, iron fist. "And don’t call me a phaggot,” I said ominously. Recovering from the blow to his diaphragm, the Cop sucked in a chest full of air, his handsome pecs swelling in manly splendor.
The black musclestud growled as he threw himself on top of his blond musclestud opponent to get me into a full nelson. I could feel his long black thick hot cock pressing against my asshole as our beefy muscle-stud bodies pressed together. I could feel the Cop’s hot breath on my neck and his thick beefy pecs as they smashed against my back.
Trey is topping me, keeping me on the bottom to make me feel submissive. I am squirming and moaning as I feel my black rival work his face into the side of mine. He is determined to sexually overpower me and make my body his. I resist his lips and dark snaking tongue, but he forces his tongue into my mouth. I find my mouth full of the Cop's dominate tongue as he continues with the sexual grinding of their two bodies to force my cock to surrender to Trey’s black snake.
Just as the black cock is about to force my big nuts to gush out a massive load of white man seed, Trey rises up and slides down to let his pulsating black cock to seek out my ass hole. I feel the huge black cock pressing up against my hole. Then Trey snakes his huge bodybuilder legs around my equally huge bodybuilder legs in a grapevine. He uses the grapevine to pull my legs wide apart, spreading my glutes and allowing the black muscle hunk to slide his horse sized cock up and down my ass crack. He spread the pre'cum that was leaking out his cock like a faucet up and down, lubing me up with his cock snot. He was making me moan as the huge cock slipped and slid across my twitching butt hole, until both his long cock and my asshole were compeltely coated with precum. The musky smell of my own gaping butt hole fills the air. While staring down into my face Trey prepares to ram his hard black cock balls deep into my hole to make me his bottom bitch and claim the title of who the real manliest man is.
"Yeah, Muscleboy! This fancy apartment is now my new 'white muscle-boy breeding grounds'! I'm gonna fuck you like you never been fucked before and fill that ass with my black man seed....I’m going to plow the shit out of you, " Trey boasts, his arrogance restored after his humiliation by Amish Pa. “ That's right, I’m gonna take your big ass now, muscleboy. I’m gonna tear it open with my big straight dick,and pump it till I nut inside you, and fills it with shot after shot of black meat-cream. You know who’s boss now...don’t ya, bitch!”
"Nah, you're going to be the bitch, tonight, bitch..." I said.
As the Cop leaned in I head-butted him in the forehead, snapping his skull back and dazing him. When he lifted his head I head-butted him again. Then I grabbed him by the back of the neck and slammed him face first into the hard wood floor. CRACCKKKK!!! Then I whispered right into his ear, “That's right, it's My turn bitch!” But the Cop couldn't hear me. He was out cold.
As Trey woke up from his flash knock out, he felt something brush against his hole as his beefy legs were raised higher and propped onto my strong, yard-wide shoulders. Then something thick and blunt pushed against his entrance. It felt big and it was wet and slick. His muscled arms flailed but I took one wrist in each of my strong hands and held them against my calves as the blunt tip of of dick went grazing back and forth over his back door entrance. Now it was the Cop's turn to feel a huge dick against his ass.
"NO! You're not going fuck me…AHHH!" Trey yelled out as I slammed into him. My cock bottomed out in his ass as our ball sacks slammed together. The Cop's mind exploded as he realized his anus was busted by an enormous cock invading his Grade-A, jock ass.
“F-fuuuck!!!!” the impaled Trey yelled out, “Fuck, f-fuck, fuck, take it out! Take it out!!”
“Not a chance, muscle boy,” I chuckled, "you had your fun, stud! Now it's my turn on top!" I slowly push my donkey sized boner even further up the Cop's tight shitchute, easily controlling the Cop's huge sculpted muscles and showing him who was in charge.
"For fucks sakes, bro, man up! You were a top high school and collegiate athlete. You can take a butt-fucking." I told the whimpering 243 pounds of black muscle and masculinity. "Now, flip over on your belly and bite the pillow, bitch!"
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| State of the art in 1975 when Mr. Mills purchased it during the Ford Administration! |
"It's for Mule!" Ms Betty shouted back up the dark stairwell as she tore the Telex off the machine. She wonders: "Who would send Mule a telex, all of HIS clients use 21st century devices..."
***Twenty-Five Minutes Earlier in another century***
Pa goes to the Mennonite store to send a telegram to Mule. They don't have those any more, says the storekeeper. Pa has a Mule business card with an Email address on it. Sure the Mennonite teens complain about the speed of the Internet there, but Pa is patient.
It is of little matter anyway, as the "Worldly" Mennonite Storekeeper says the computer is down due to a virus picked up while a customer was watching Amish porn (yes, there is such a genre) and he is waiting for the Mennonite Geek Squad to come over from the BEST BUY over on Fruitville Pike in Lancaster. Storekeeper, in a somewhat accusatory tone, mentions that Pa's son Jeb had been using the computer yesterday.
"It looks like the computer got the porn virus from someone downloading Amish Girls Go Anal Part 22: Churning Time," the Storekeeper continued.
Pa ignores the inference and looks back at Mule's business card. "There's a Telex number on here also, do you know what that is?" Pa asks.
The storekeeper strokes his beard and says: "Sure, we used to send messages on the Telex to the Railroad back in the 1970's. It is back in the storeroom. It probably still works, they built things to last back then. Let me dust it off and give it a try...."
*** Four and a half minutes after the telex reaches Boulder ***
I am at the Dallas office looking incredulously at the scanned image of the Telex message on my tablet screen.
Friend Mule:
Jeb has told me much about the Mardi Gras festival he attended when he was on his Rumspringa. I have decided I would like to experience this gala myself. I will be arriving in New Orleans this weekend. I was hoping thou would be able to suggest some things I could see and do while I am there. Will there be agricultural exhibits and craft shows at this fair? I need to purchase some livestock and I could bring some handmade Amish fireplace mantels with me to display at a craft show.
s/ "Daett" Yoder
"OMFG! Pa at Mardi Gras! What could possibly go wrong?" I say out loud as I slap my head. My Mule sense is tingling.
I thinks for a moment about my visit to Amish country and the fun I had with Pa.
Oh, yeah. Well, yeah, there was that...
And yeah, also that:
So, yeah.....
"Karen, please get me a plane ticket to New Orleans, on my personal credit card on Saturday. Clear what you can off my calendar next week and give the rest to Smithers to handle. I will be taking vacation next week. I will take care of letting the head office know..." I told my assistant, as I sent a text to my Mom that I needed her condo at the Cabildo if she wasn't using it on Mardi Gras. As luck would have it, she had enjoyed her time swimming with the Manatees in Florida so much that she had booked a trip to swim with Humpback whales in Tonga. Transport and Accommodations...CHECK and CHECK.
Thanks to my connections in both very high (the Pickwick Club) and very low (Big Dick's Gym) places, I was able to arrange for Pa and myself to ride in a swanky Monday night Mardi Gras parade and also to ride in the Krewe of Hypertrophy parade on Mardi Gras day, which is a 3rd tier day poverty day parade by a Krewe of bodybuilders and meat heads. Although it's a lesser parade, it is very popular with the Gay community due to its abundance of muscle eye candy. A few years ago one of the gay krewes, the Mystic Krewe of Priapus, began to voluntarily provide the costumes for the Krewe of Hypertrophy, to replace the traditional Cut-off jean shorts, Work boots, Wife beater, and Bandanna the fashion challenged muscle bros were wearing. And the costumes made by the Krewe of Priapus are simply fabulous!
*** The Krewe of Hypertrophy Parade***
Pa goes to the Mennonite store to send a telegram to Mule. They don't have those any more, says the storekeeper. Pa has a Mule business card with an Email address on it. Sure the Mennonite teens complain about the speed of the Internet there, but Pa is patient.
It is of little matter anyway, as the "Worldly" Mennonite Storekeeper says the computer is down due to a virus picked up while a customer was watching Amish porn (yes, there is such a genre) and he is waiting for the Mennonite Geek Squad to come over from the BEST BUY over on Fruitville Pike in Lancaster. Storekeeper, in a somewhat accusatory tone, mentions that Pa's son Jeb had been using the computer yesterday.
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| It is much more Amish to connect to the Internet on an OG desktop than on a phone or tablet. |
"It looks like the computer got the porn virus from someone downloading Amish Girls Go Anal Part 22: Churning Time," the Storekeeper continued.
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| Scene from: Amish Girls Go Anal Part 22: Churning Time |
Pa ignores the inference and looks back at Mule's business card. "There's a Telex number on here also, do you know what that is?" Pa asks.
The storekeeper strokes his beard and says: "Sure, we used to send messages on the Telex to the Railroad back in the 1970's. It is back in the storeroom. It probably still works, they built things to last back then. Let me dust it off and give it a try...."
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| Back in the 21st century... |
*** Four and a half minutes after the telex reaches Boulder ***
I am at the Dallas office looking incredulously at the scanned image of the Telex message on my tablet screen.
Friend Mule:
Jeb has told me much about the Mardi Gras festival he attended when he was on his Rumspringa. I have decided I would like to experience this gala myself. I will be arriving in New Orleans this weekend. I was hoping thou would be able to suggest some things I could see and do while I am there. Will there be agricultural exhibits and craft shows at this fair? I need to purchase some livestock and I could bring some handmade Amish fireplace mantels with me to display at a craft show.
s/ "Daett" Yoder
"OMFG! Pa at Mardi Gras! What could possibly go wrong?" I say out loud as I slap my head. My Mule sense is tingling.
I thinks for a moment about my visit to Amish country and the fun I had with Pa.
Oh, yeah. Well, yeah, there was that...
 |
| ~art by Enrique Nieto Nadal~ |
And yeah, also that:
 |
| ~art by Enrique Nieto Nadal~ |
So, yeah.....
"Karen, please get me a plane ticket to New Orleans, on my personal credit card on Saturday. Clear what you can off my calendar next week and give the rest to Smithers to handle. I will be taking vacation next week. I will take care of letting the head office know..." I told my assistant, as I sent a text to my Mom that I needed her condo at the Cabildo if she wasn't using it on Mardi Gras. As luck would have it, she had enjoyed her time swimming with the Manatees in Florida so much that she had booked a trip to swim with Humpback whales in Tonga. Transport and Accommodations...CHECK and CHECK.
Thanks to my connections in both very high (the Pickwick Club) and very low (Big Dick's Gym) places, I was able to arrange for Pa and myself to ride in a swanky Monday night Mardi Gras parade and also to ride in the Krewe of Hypertrophy parade on Mardi Gras day, which is a 3rd tier day poverty day parade by a Krewe of bodybuilders and meat heads. Although it's a lesser parade, it is very popular with the Gay community due to its abundance of muscle eye candy. A few years ago one of the gay krewes, the Mystic Krewe of Priapus, began to voluntarily provide the costumes for the Krewe of Hypertrophy, to replace the traditional Cut-off jean shorts, Work boots, Wife beater, and Bandanna the fashion challenged muscle bros were wearing. And the costumes made by the Krewe of Priapus are simply fabulous!
*** The Krewe of Hypertrophy Parade***
 |
| ~art by Enrique Nieto Nadal~ The crowd cheer Pa and Mule as they entertain the spectators with feats of strength like bending steel bars. |
"Thou certainly know how to show a visitor a good time, Friend Mule. What a wonderful festival. So much better than the County Fair. This is something I will remember forever. Too bad I won't be able to share it with anyone back home!"
Pa spots a skinny dude escorting our float on horseback. It's one of the dudes from the Krewe of Priapus that provides the costumes checking up on us, to make sure we haven't had any wardrobe malfunctions.
"That's a fine looking horse, and I know horses. Excuse me, would thou mind if I ride him for a bit?" Pa asked, muscles rippling. From the love-sick puppy dog look on the gay dudes face, I doubt he would have refused Pa anything.
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| ~art by Enrique Nieto Nadal~ That Sure is a fine looking horse! May I ride him for a bit? |
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| Uh, uh... Yesssss..sir.. I mean Yes, Sir! It would be an honor, sir... Stammered the skinny young man, who stared in awe at the float-riding Muscle-Bear. Ho-ly fuck! Pa was a porn flick Muscle-Daddy fantasy come to life! |
"Hand me some throws to take with me, friend Mule," Pa says as he mounts the horse and the skinny dude climbs up to take his place on the float.
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| The Krewe! (and Costume-boi!) |
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| What an excellent steed! |
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| I do need to replace the horse I gave Jeb. I wonder if he is for sale? Although he is a bit majestic for the farm... |
Pa rides as escort for the float.
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| Pa on horseback escorts the Float through the teeming Mardi Gras crowds. The streets are filled with revelers! |
POP!!!! BANG. BANG. RATTLE-RATTLE. PSSSSSHHHH! CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK!!!!! And with that the float rocked to a full stop.
The flatbed pulling the rather primitive and crudely built float has had a catastrophic mechanical failure.
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| The Float Breaks Down During the Parade |
"The fuck?" I thought. "I haven't heard a noise like that since Scotty sabotaged the Excelsior's trans-warp drive in Star Trek III"
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| The float is a gonner Captain! |
"Hah. Get a horse!" thought Pa. "I knew these gasoline engines were just fads. Thou just canst depend on them..."
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| Hah, Hah. Get a horse! laughed Pa. Thou just canst depend on those infernal combustion engines... |
A mounted Cop, decked out in undercover Mardi Gras costume, rides up... and flashes his badge. The float riders think the Cop will be chill because he is obviously a fellow bodybuilder, but no such luck!
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| The physically imposing mounted Cop is obviously a fellow bodybuilder. The dude is as jacked as a Mattel Masters of the Universe action figure! |
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| You fucking muscle heads need to get that shit moving because you are holding up the rest of the parade! |
The arrogant young cop is already pissed because since he is a rookie, he has been assigned to work the "Crewe of Hypertrophy" parade instead of one of the bigger, wealthier and more well known parades.
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| No parking along the parade route, that is a $500 fine! |
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| There is also a $250 parade obstruction citation I can add if you don't get this heap of junk moving! |
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| Thou dost not have to be a blödes arschloch about it, give us a moment! |
Pa jumps down off his horse and hauls the truck out of the way single-handed, which impresses the cop who, despite being a gym rat himself, is not used to seeing that kind of strength.
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| Pa dismounts his horse and single handedly tows the flat bed truck Float clear of the parade route |
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| Is this far enough out of the way, Constable? .... Pa asks the rude young Cop |
"Who are you supposed to be in that get-up, old man? Hercules or somebody?" the Cop asks derisively.
"He is supposed to be a Theban hoplite..." --interjected Costume boi, "funny thing about Theban warriors..." The menacing look the hunky cop shot the theatrical flamer choked off the words in the garrulous mouth of the costumer before he could continue his train of thought.
The muscle-bound black peace officer flexed his huge biceps while holding his badge close to his naked, rippling, explosive chest. The young, unbearably cocky rookie Cop stood six foot two inches and his frame was packed with twenty-inch guns, a cut eight pack, massive chest and a muscle ass that wouldn’t quit – and he knew it. With his incredibly handsome face, square-cut jaw, dark eyes, and flawless ebony skin every woman was wet when they first laid eyes on him. He was used to intimidating and awing others since he was a teen, and enjoyed being a bit of bully, simply because he always could get away with it. Costume boi wasn't the only one of the krewe with serious wood after this muscular display...just saying...
Without a shirt, his huge pecs and rippling abs were on full display, and his pants clung indecently to his massive legs and amazing, jutting butt – hell, his pants looked painted on his twin boulder ass cheeks going deep into his crack – while his boots pushed his whole frame up and out. He grinned, cocky as fuck, his white teeth flashing. With his looks, he’d fucked every female cadet and collected the wives and girlfriends of others on his beat as cuckolding trophies. His muscular beauty made me think of Jamal and Bo...and as my thoughts drifted wistfully along that train of thought, my briefs could no longer contain my raging boner, nor that of any of the crewe immersed in their own pornographc fantasies.
Given his exhibitionistic tendencies - he enjoyed showing off his magnificent body and jaw-dropping bulge for the females and gays attending these parades, the gay swooned over him harder than the chicks did, and the petty bully in him, made it clear the guys would never have him – and they wanted him all the more for it, which was a mind-fuck that gave him sadistic pleasure.
"He is supposed to be a Theban hoplite..." --interjected Costume boi, "funny thing about Theban warriors..." The menacing look the hunky cop shot the theatrical flamer choked off the words in the garrulous mouth of the costumer before he could continue his train of thought.
The muscle-bound black peace officer flexed his huge biceps while holding his badge close to his naked, rippling, explosive chest. The young, unbearably cocky rookie Cop stood six foot two inches and his frame was packed with twenty-inch guns, a cut eight pack, massive chest and a muscle ass that wouldn’t quit – and he knew it. With his incredibly handsome face, square-cut jaw, dark eyes, and flawless ebony skin every woman was wet when they first laid eyes on him. He was used to intimidating and awing others since he was a teen, and enjoyed being a bit of bully, simply because he always could get away with it. Costume boi wasn't the only one of the krewe with serious wood after this muscular display...just saying...
Without a shirt, his huge pecs and rippling abs were on full display, and his pants clung indecently to his massive legs and amazing, jutting butt – hell, his pants looked painted on his twin boulder ass cheeks going deep into his crack – while his boots pushed his whole frame up and out. He grinned, cocky as fuck, his white teeth flashing. With his looks, he’d fucked every female cadet and collected the wives and girlfriends of others on his beat as cuckolding trophies. His muscular beauty made me think of Jamal and Bo...and as my thoughts drifted wistfully along that train of thought, my briefs could no longer contain my raging boner, nor that of any of the crewe immersed in their own pornographc fantasies.
Given his exhibitionistic tendencies - he enjoyed showing off his magnificent body and jaw-dropping bulge for the females and gays attending these parades, the gay swooned over him harder than the chicks did, and the petty bully in him, made it clear the guys would never have him – and they wanted him all the more for it, which was a mind-fuck that gave him sadistic pleasure.
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| His muscular beauty made me think of Jamal and Bo... |
As this looked that it was going to be quite the show, I purchased some snacks from a nearby street vendor.
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| What the fuck did you just say to me, you racist mutherfuckingfuckingfuckboy!!!? |
The Cop moves closer to Pa so that he can be heard over the crowd and issues a challenge: "How about we step into this alley over here, cracker. I will "lose" my badge, and you and I will settle this one on one, man to man. I will gift you a shit ton of shame and embarrassment when I kick your big white racist ass, hillbilly!"
"I call referee! And I have just the outfit for it in my man bag." shrieks the costume- boi who had been patrolling the parade floats in case of wardrobe malfunctions, and was prepared for all sorts of clothing emergencies.
"Get comfy, big man...." sneered the copper. "Cuz Ima goin ta kick yo' racist cracker ass, mutha fucker"
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| I am going to kick your racist cracker ass all the way back to the 19th century! |
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| You're pretty big, hayseed.... but I'm even bigger and Police Academy trained! |
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| I be bigger, younger, n' stronger than u n' I be pretty dang sure mah big, black cock is bigger than yours too! |
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| Pride cometh before a fall, child of Ham, the strength of the lord is with me and will humble thou in thy vanity! |
My ears picked up when I heard Pa mention Ham. Man, I sure could rock some pork rinds about now. I head back to get some Cracklins off that street vendor.
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| This fucking black muscle of mine is invincible...just peep mah physique! I have every last muthafuckin' reason ta be confident! It ain't vanity ta' just state facts. |
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| Thank thee for thy warning, my dark friend...thou dost possess an impressive and powerful looking physique to be sure...but I think thou overestimates thy chances! |
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| I was quite the wrestler back in the day, and still grapple from time to time! |
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| Come on...Let's do this..enuff talkin' biatch! Let's see what tha fuck you got!! |
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| Ready ta see whoz ass is stronger, Farmah Brown? |
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| The two musclemen are quickly locked together, in a battle of total body strength. |
The competing Alpha males are like two bulls, snorting, pawing the ground, charging each other like animals and colliding like Mac trucks. They locked in combat, each man trying to get his opponent into a hold, intermittently halting the effort long enough to administer punches to each other.
Soon, the two musclemen end up locked together, in a battle of total body strength. Arms, legs, glutes and cores are recruited into the struggle for dominance. Both were grunting like Silverback gorillas, and the sound of solid steel hard muscle thudding into solid steel hard muscle echoed off the walls of the alley.
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| Both were grunting like Silverback gorillas, and the sound of solid steel hard muscle thudding into solid steel hard muscle echoed off the walls of the alley. |
Pa's muscular upper physique opposed the Cop's huge bulging rock hard arms and shoulders, with a surge of forward power. But whenever Pa tried to bulldoze his powerful adversary backwards, he was opposed by an equal force. The Cop's resistance is amazing. They were stalemated! The pair were grinding their heavily muscled bodies together. Torsos banged. Neither was able to move the other, they stood cemented together, chest to chest, nipples to nipples, abs to abs, hard cock to hard cock, with rock hard bodies pressed together. They flexed and ground their huge rock hard jutting pecs, rippling abs, and swollen crotches together in an effort to break the standoff. Both of the hypermasculine males groaned involuntarily from the overwhelming erotic stimulation they experienced, mixed in with the grunts of exertion and the groans of pain. Still neither one could gain purchase on the other.
Both of the muscular titans were shocked at the strength of his opponent. Both were used to always being stronger than their opponents. But each muscleman appeared to be every bit as strong and powerful as the other in this test of strength. So far, they were at an impasse in this test of strength.
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| They were stalemated. The pair were grinding their heavily muscled bodies together. Neither was able to move the other, they stood cemented together. |
The Cop struggled against Pa's strength, continuing to rub his hard as metal spikes tits against Pa's nipples, and then flexing his pec muscles. The powerful muscle Cop grunted as Pa demonstrated tremendous upper body strength. The Cop leaned away from Pa's upper body for a second, only to subsequently collide his built-like-a-brick-shit-house torso against his immovable adversary again. Both musclemen were both going balls-to-the-wall. exerting all their muscle-power over each other, trying to break the deadlock. No technique, no skill, just their raw muscle and brute strength. Neither were playing it safe, they were giving it their all. There was no holding back, nothing left in reserve. Both put it all on the line. Both were going to leave it all on the field this day.
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| The powerful muscle Cop grunted as Pa demonstrated tremendous upper body strength. |
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| Neither were playing it safe, they were giving it their all. There was no holding back, nothing left in reserve. Both put it all on the line. |
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| Yeah, thatz what tha fuck I be poppin' off about! Yo ass can't even budge me, Mutha'ucka! |
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| OK, I gots ta experience yo' old school playa strength, Pops fo' realz. And you gots ta experience mah power... Yo crazy-ass stronger than I thought, I'ma admit dis shit. But mah prime black muscle is even stronger...as you can see...and feel... |
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| ~art by Enrique Nieto Nadal~ Thou are strong, maybe as strong as me as thou claims, not that I am ready to concede that yet. Here, let me show thee one of the legendary holds from my Pro Wrestling days as the Mennonite Mauler |
“I guess that they don't teach that hold at this 'Police Academy' you hold in such high esteem? That's odd, any Amish farm boy knows that one, a well as the counter... ” Pa asked, before he released the hold, which dumped his opponent onto the concrete. The young muscle stud Cop lay limply on the pavement, panting and moaning.
"Yeah, Ok...Ok ... dat was a pimpin' showy move , I will give you
that .... but it's gonna take more than some bad-ass wrestling trick to keep me from sending you back to your corn field by amberlamps, you inbred, cow-fucker... " the Cop replied with a sneer.
Back on his feet the two man stood face to face once again.
"Reset, Farm Phag, it's time for Round II. bitch!" the Cop growled, his confidence undiminished. "Fight me like a real man!" Pa watched as the Cop untied his belt and pushed down his pants, locking his eyes with Pa's. “Come on muscles, if we’re gonna do this let’s do it properly...” challenged the now naked (except for his boots) and aroused young ebony fighter. "No holds barred. All blows legal. Let’s go, bitch,”
Pa nodded his acceptance and slips his briefs down his thick thighs and kicks them out of the way. After all, it was a more erotic celebration of manhood when two studs stripped naked and challenged each other for ultimate victory or defeat.
that .... but it's gonna take more than some bad-ass wrestling trick to keep me from sending you back to your corn field by amberlamps, you inbred, cow-fucker... " the Cop replied with a sneer.
Back on his feet the two man stood face to face once again.
"Reset, Farm Phag, it's time for Round II. bitch!" the Cop growled, his confidence undiminished. "Fight me like a real man!" Pa watched as the Cop untied his belt and pushed down his pants, locking his eyes with Pa's. “Come on muscles, if we’re gonna do this let’s do it properly...” challenged the now naked (except for his boots) and aroused young ebony fighter. "No holds barred. All blows legal. Let’s go, bitch,”
Pa nodded his acceptance and slips his briefs down his thick thighs and kicks them out of the way. After all, it was a more erotic celebration of manhood when two studs stripped naked and challenged each other for ultimate victory or defeat.
Costume Boy ogled the Cop’s big nine-inch dick as it was exposed to the light. The shaft stood out in stiff erection, revealing a set of low-hanging balls the size of duck eggs in a large smooth scrotum. Pa’s cock was even longer- ten and a half inches- and very thick, with a mushroom-shaped cockhead that looked like it was hard enough to poke a hole in Captain America's shield.
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| Yeah, dat was a pimpin' showy move big-ass dude, I will give you that...but it's gonna take a lot more than that...and I got a feeling you are a one-trick pony |
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| No, this 'Pony' has lots of tricks. Like this Ankle Lock. I taught this to a rookie wrestler named Kurt Angle. He has done quite well with this hold. |
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| The Cop was twisting and turning every which way trying to break loose from Pa's ankle lock. |
Pa placed the young muscle stud Cop in an ankle lock. The Cop was twisting and flexing his sculpted ebony muscles in every which way, trying to break loose. He furiously beat the ground with his fists and howled out in pain."Aargh, my fuckin' ankle....! You're breaking my fuckin' ankle" Pa continued to twist and turn the trapped and swollen ankle, stretching the strong ankle ligaments beyond their limits as there are loud 'pops' like rubber bands snapping making the pinned ebony Hercules howl in pain.
Pa, his own massively muscled chest heaving, twists his mighty torso back to look at the young Cop who let's out another yell as paralyzing pain from his trapped ankle shoots through his leg.
"Did thou thinkest that I had busted your ankle, muscle boy?" Pa asked calmly. "Don't worry, Son. I have too much respect for Officers of the Law to inflict any long lasting damage that would keep you from your duties to Protect and Serve the fine citizenry of this great City!"
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| The ebony copper furiously beat the ground with his fists and howled out in pain. |
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| Aargh, my fuckin' ankle....! You're breaking my fuckin' ankle |
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| Pa continued to twist and turn the trapped and swollen ankle, stretching the strong ankle ligaments beyond their limits |
Pa dropped the crippling ankle hold only to pull the massively-muscled Cop off the ground and onto his feet. The Cop manages with some difficulty to stand on his injured ankle. For a moment, The two nude chiseled muscle god’s stand facing each other. Covered with sweat, chests and abs heaving, eyes locked.
Then Pa steps into the muscular hunk, reaching around the Cop’s massive chest and locks his hands behind the he-man’s broad back. Pa flexes his massive arms and strains to crush his opponent in a bear-hug. Simply looking at his target’s powerfully sculptured chest and thickly muscled lats, Pa really should have known his power move attempt at crushing this young muscle stud, would be doomed from the start.
Pa strains and flexes with all his might but the muscle Cop grunts through clenched teeth: “Dude!” the black Hercules groans, “NO...FUCK'N WAY....you can put we away with that, big fellow. ! I told you this body of mine was invincible” the ebony titan grunts.
The young muscle stud doesn't even try to apply his own bearhug or to break out of Pa's. The super-cop wants to show that he can take the worse Pa has to offer.
I took the opportunity to obtain more snacks, I got a couple of MoonPies and a Barq's Root Beer.
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| GIVE ME ALL YOU GOT, OLD MAN! You can't break me! |
The referee, Costume boi, watched intently as the Amish muscleman pressed his rock-hard body into the mighty muscle Cop. He could barely believe his lust filled eyes. The musclemen were grinding their huge pecs, their rippling abs, and even their swollen crotches together. Their stupendously muscled bodies glistened sensuously with sweat, as they struggled face-to-face, chest-to-chest, stomach-to-stomach, and shaft-to-shaft, with massive chests heaving and muscle guts sucking in air against one another. Ho-ly fuck! It was as hot-as-fuck. Costume boi was almost ready to shoot a load from the visual and olfactory stimulation.
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| Their stupendously muscled bodies glistened sensuously with sweat, as they struggled with massive chests heaving and muscle guts sucking in air against one another. |
Pa squeezes the black bodybuilder as hard as he can. Pa grunts, the Cop groans. But the mighty arms of the powerhouse Cop stay at his side. The Cocky Cop fights through the pain, determined to show Pa and everyone watching that he can take whatever Pa can dish out.
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| The Cocky Cop fights through the pain, determined to show Pa and everyone watching, that he can take whatever Pa can dish out |
The cop began to reassess the situation: "We’ve been at this for a long time. I figured that was to my advantage, but somehow the old muscle man looks bigger, stronger and fresher than when we started. I can’t believe I’m wearing down before him! I need to change up my strategy..."
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| I can’t believe I’m wearing down before him! I need to change up my strategy... |
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| And yet there was something enticing about the embrace of the Amish Hercules, being pressed about against that mountain of muscular magnificence, feeling the hard, sinewy contours of his own, the co-mingling of their masculine musks created an excitement that was something other than the thrill of combat in the ebony warrior...he had to not only resist the hayseed hunk...but his own strange sensations... |
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| They stood, belly-to-belly, cock-to-cock. Two struggling stallions, one black, one white. Two sweaty, ferocious titans, their muscular bodies glued together, grunting like wild boars |
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| Now that is what I am talking about, blurted out Costume Boi so overcome by the spectacle, that he forgot he was supposed to be ref-ing. |
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| The schwitzkasten is another trick of this pony, child of Ham, let me familiarize thee with it! |
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| Well, that is what we Amisch cal it, It is known among thee Englisch as a headlock! |
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| Are thee getting a good whiff there, der schutzmann ...I mean Constable? |
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| The black behemoth breaks free of Pa's headlock! |
Both of the battling beefcake grapplers are covered in slick sweat from their superhuman exertion in the warm Louisiana sunshine. This works in favor of the black powerhouse as he found it possible to slip partially out of the Amish muscleman's headlock hold, and then break it altogether. As the same time, the skilled Cop grabs one of Pa tree-trunk legs and raises it off the pavement. Then the black grappler trips out the Mennonite muscle mountain's other leg, forcing the huge muscleman to fall face first onto the concrete.
Pa is face planted to the ground and mounted by the cop. Pa had went down hard, a magnificent brick shithouse doing a face plant in the pavement. His V-shaped back spread out, huge arms and legs and his massive mounds of ass all struggled to get up, but he didn’t move except for the heaving of his chest - he was pinned down solid. Pa had been brought down expertly like some dumb beast.
The Cop had surprised a stunned Pa by now gaining the upper hand in the fight, despite just having suffered injuries to his ankle in their exhausting battle!
With Pa lying sprawled chest down on the cement floor, he was an easy target for a knee drop. The Cop put all his 243 pounds of solid black muscle weight into one knee, bringing it down on the lower back of the naked muscle bull lying at his feet.
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| Eat asphalt, muscle bitch.... |
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| Wow, said the suddenly less than impartial referee. You really nailed this fucker. You brought this muscle beast down hard! I thought he was the shit, but man did you own his ass. |
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| Yeah, fruitloops, I am more of a man them him, I made him just as much a bottom bitch as you! I wonder how he would like designing costumes with you, ask him flamer, just ask him! |
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| Don't seem like you like being on the bottom, bitch. Don't worry, I will make you learn to love it... |
Even Pa's incredibly muscled body is definitely feeling the impact of the abuse he has received. He and the muscle stud Cop have been at it for a long time. Somehow the young muscle stud looks bigger, stronger and fresher than when they started The older muscleman realizes that he is wearing down faster than the young Alpha muscle pup.
"Yes, you are one tough piece of shit!" the smiling Cop said, with his foot on the back of Pa's neck. His big black dick was so hard it stood up against his belly from the thrill of working over and dominating the older muscleman. "But there is no use struggling, you're owned bitch!" Strong as it was, Pa's thick muscular farmer's neck was no match for the bodybuilder Cop's beefy 28" leg. The humbled older muscle stud lay suffering under his foot, moaning. Being on the bottom, under another man, was not a position that the big Amish Stud had been in for many, many years.
"So I guess yo' KNOW just whoz ass you dealin wit now, pussaaaaay biatch? This black playa just kicked yo' big-ass white muscled ass, n' don't you eva forget it, you racist mutha fucker shit. And I be just gettin started!" The Cop boasted, feeling the thrill of besting his rival and filled with a sense of vindication and redemption.
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| I am gonna use this little mano-on-mano to teach you a lesson in lesson in race relations |
"Yeah, this is why I wanted a go at you, old man. I am gonna use this little mano-on-mano to teach you a lesson in lesson in race relations" the cocky bastard gloated as he rolled Pa onto his side and nearly twisted his arm off. "Bow down to your big black master!"
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| Damn, this is the best brawl I have ever seen! They fucking beat the shit out of each other! |
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| This was a decidedly one sided fight fairy dust, did you really ever doubt my ebony magnificence would overcome this bloated melanin-deficient, inbred plowboy? |
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| Yeah, I told ya I was gonna kick yo' farm boy ass! I done knocked yo' big fuckin dick in tha dirt, muscleman! |
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| Stay down fool or I'ma just knock yo' ass back down again! And you n' I both know I can do it! |
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| Come on, ask him, referee. Ask Farmer Muscles if he gives up! ASK HIM NOW! I wanna hear dis muscle bound asshole admit his fuckin defeat at mah hands! |
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| Sprechen zie ya got your ass handed ta ya, Amish muthafuckah? |
The Cop released the hold and stood up to begin a series of kicks and stomps with his steel-toed cop boots, into Pa’s muscled packed body. However, he got only one stomp into Pa’s rock-hard musclegut, before his opponent grabbed his ankle with both hands and wrenched it painfully, twisting the already sprained ankle. The Cop cried out from the pain but surprised Pa by lifted his other foot, using it to grind Pa’s big nutsac into the pavement under the Cops’s boot heel. Pa's bull-sized gonads screamed in extreme pain.
“He got you in the nuts, Pa!” yelled Costume boi, the referee almost gleefully from the sidelines. “What are you gonna do about it?”
"I am very impressed, my Afrikan friend! It's been a very long time since another man has been able to manhandle and dominant me that way! Are all the members of thy tribe such mighty warriors?" a curious Pa asks.
"What da fuck are you going on about, you crazy old coot? My "tribe'? My tribe! I was born in Breaux Bridge, Louisiana you fool. C'est sa Couillon" he muttered in Cajun as he rolled his eyes. "And I got these muscles from wrestling at Northside High in Lafayette and playing football for the ULL Ragin Cajuns, and from lifting my ass off six days a week at Red Lerille's since I was in middle school. You actually think just because I'm black that I got this physique from swinging on vines naked in some Jungle like Mulezan and wresting hippos and lions and shit? Dude, you got to be the most deluded cooyon on the fucking planet!" the exasperated Cop ranted.
I took the opportunity to snag some Zapp's Spicy Cajun Crawtators Potato Chips, and some King Cakes and Pralines for dessert, and a Yoo-hoo to wash it all down, I had worked up quite the appetite, with all this spectating.
When I returned the fight seemed to be over, as both men were up and chatting, but just when I was about to ask another spectator what I missed, the action heated up again.
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| I realize these muscles o' mine urr kind'a' intimidatin'.... |
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| Well, Mr A. Mish, looks like you runnin' outa gas already... |
"Thou insolent, arrogant little fuck. Thee has not made me lose my temper. Thou shalt not make an Amish mad. Thou Englisch won't like us much, when we get mad..."
"I thought y'all were pacifist pussies," retorted the Copper, in a bad move on his part.
"I thought y'all were pacifist pussies," retorted the Copper, in a bad move on his part.
Pa’s right arm went snaking over the Cop's thick throat, pulling him back and down until his spine was almost parallel to the ground, his thighs screaming as he found himself in a modified dragon sleeper.
The humbled muscle stud felt his opponent shift as the arm moved off his throat . Suddenly he found his face buried in the hollow of Pa’s right armpit. He moaned helplessly into the wet, hairy underarm. The salacious scent of man-funk was unavoidable and incredibly erotic. The Cop was immediately intoxicated his heady stud scent. All he could think about was the salty taste and the musky, masculine scent that assaulted his nostrils.
He buried his handsome face even deeper into the hairy, sweaty armpit. Something primal and raw caused him to open his lips and began to lick Pa's armpit. Pa was built like a brick shithouse and he was manhandling the younger stud, which had made his opponent's big black cock go diamond hard.
The humbled muscle stud felt his opponent shift as the arm moved off his throat . Suddenly he found his face buried in the hollow of Pa’s right armpit. He moaned helplessly into the wet, hairy underarm. The salacious scent of man-funk was unavoidable and incredibly erotic. The Cop was immediately intoxicated his heady stud scent. All he could think about was the salty taste and the musky, masculine scent that assaulted his nostrils.
 |
| ~art by Enrique Nieto Nadal~ Suddenly the black muscle stud found found his face buried in the Amish muscle stud's armpit. He was overwhelmed and intoxicated by the the other stud's musky, masculine scent as it assaulted his nostrils. |
He buried his handsome face even deeper into the hairy, sweaty armpit. Something primal and raw caused him to open his lips and began to lick Pa's armpit. Pa was built like a brick shithouse and he was manhandling the younger stud, which had made his opponent's big black cock go diamond hard.
"Why does the musk of this sweaty muscleman smell and taste so good?"-- wondered the Cop. Suddenly, Pa slid his face across the sweaty lawn of hair on the thick slabs of his chiseled pecs, raised his left arm and shoved the black stud's face into the dark hollow of his other armpit. The Cop starts to bathe the pit with his mouth and tongue.
“Look at that huge fuckin’ boner,” the referee said in a raspy voice, licking his lips. "He must really like this...from the looks of that hard-on he is horny as hell" There was no doubt that the muscle stud Cop was was being owned, dominated and going into heat. His groans turned to moans and his huge throbbing iron hard dick gave away his true feelings. His dick so hard it was standing up hugging his eight pack abs. The he-man Cop is embarrassed by how hard his boner was.
With the black muscle god's face still firmly lodged in his left pit, Pa started playing with his nipples, thumbing the rubbery nubs until they were as hard as his cock, standing out erect and hard- a full three quarter inches tall and hard as nails. musky, masculine scent that assaulted his nostrils. The Cop was being owned, dominated and was going into heat. His shouts and groans turned to moans...
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| The Cop was being owned, dominated and was going into heat. |
Pa put the the brawny young cop’s chiseled Greek god physique on display for the small crowd watching. He showed off the black stallion perfectly, allowing his jutting tits to push out from his massive chest and his rock-hard abs popping for all to see, along with his big back horse cock.
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| He showed off the black stallion perfectly, allowing his jutting tits to push out from his massive chest and his rock-hard abs popping for all to see, along with his big back horse cock. |
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| At this point Costume Boi wasn't the only one licking his lips and saluting with a woody... |
I see we’ve drawn a small crowd, Thou wanted this – and this is what thou gets.” Pa grunted then used his Dragon Sleeper to pull the massive body of the awesome Alpha muscle pup back until he was totally exposed and outstretched in the huge Amish powerhouse's arms. The Amish musclean leaning him back so that the young bull's huge chest and nipples pushed toward the sky while the big arms were limp beside his frame. Hanging, the formerly pompous policeman like a piece of beef, a stuffed toy won at a fair.
Pa grinned and then slapped the kid’s muscled ass. The Cop heard the laughter and cheers from the crowd. Pa had put the cocky young stud on display for the spectators.
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| ~art by Enrique Nieto Nadal~ Pa put the cocky young musclestud on display for the spectators. |
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| The young bull's huge chest and nipples pushed toward the sky while his big arms were limp beside his frame |
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| The chocolate Adonis was once again battling not only the Amish brawn, but the rising uncomfortable yearnings in himself, a struggle between his urge to dominate and a treacherous desire to submit to both his opponent and uncomfortable carnal cravings... |
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| A painful kick to his thick, corded quadriceps, focused the copper's divided mind back on the combat! |
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| As Pa effected his takedown, the Lawman's resistance intensified and the struggle grew exciting once more... |
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| Pa felt the Mennonite Marauder return in force within him, as he was buoyed by the cheers of the crowd, and he inflicted great punishment on his opponent, ignoring the cautionary chastisement of 'the ref' |
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| The instructions of the ref, the cheers of the crowd, and the shrieks of the Policeman all became garbled as if he was underwater, as Pa entered into the focused determination of the GRAPPLER ZONE. |
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| The hauteur and bullying bravado of the Lawman was being broken down as the beatdown continued, emasculating and humiliating the once proud and pompous policeman... |
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| One more of my old wrestling moves to show thee. Unfortunately we don't have a ring with ring ropes. So I will have to improvise. |
The Cop is startled when he sees a set of massive arms start to wrap around his chest from behind as well as a giant rock chest against his own wide, strong back.Pa embracing the struggling Cop in a back bearhug embrace. The quickly realizes that he is unable to break the Amish Muscleman's embrace. "What da fuq is happening here!" he wondered in his predicament. "How da fuq can I be losing to this sorry crackah jus' off da farm, old-timah!" He had broken, and beaten many cajun country crackah's in his time, how could he lose to some Amish turn-da-utter-cheek-type!
"This move was quite popular with the small town crowds when I was wrestling pro. They would always cheer when a wrestler was split on the top rope. It didn't seem to matter if it was the heel or a face, the spectators would always cheer. We don't have a ring rope, but I have been able to quickly improvise a tolerable substitute from a board and some barrels here in this alley."
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| To straddle your opponent on the top rope was very popular with wrestling fans.... |
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| ..well, to be honest, the fans liked any kind of groin attack! |
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| This is my Ball Drop! I understand you English have one in New York City on New Years! Me thinks thee will find mine to be more painful! |
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| First we take aim! Pa holds the Cop so his balls, fat and heavy in their sack, swung back and forth like a pendulum over the make-shift target |
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| Oh my gosh, I should have been filming this on my camera, marvelled Costume boi Ref. |
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| Relax and enjoy the ride! First we go up! Then we come down! |
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| Although I must warn you that the landing may be a little rough! |
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| There is a 99.99% chance that you're going to land on your nuts, Constable Bottombitch |
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| Yeah, Bullseye! I think I heard a couple of big black duck eggs crack! |
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| Yeah, for big bull balled men like us getting ball bashed is just about the only time we wish our big fat balls were smaller. |
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| FUCK, FFFUCK, FFFUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK |
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| What does thou mean thou called a flag on the play, there ain't no such thing in wrestling, thou limp-wristed gelding! |
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| Strange strangled cries were coming out of the Policeman, reminiscent of his K-9 partner Alphonse, when he has sniffed out some drugs on a perp... |
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| Just relax and enjoy the ride, said Pa, Going Down! |
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| A little rear choke hold action to excite the Schwarzer, I hear tell all ye city folks are into that auto-asphyxiation stuff! |
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| Art thou excited yet, does that gurgling mean thou art excited? Thy cock sure seems excited. |
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| ARRRGGH I AM GOING TO KILL YOU FOR THIS CRACKAH! rasped the cop breathlessly Not a chance, muscle boy, Pa chuckled, the Cop's tight shitchute, easily controlling the Cop's huge sculpted muscles and showing him who was in charge as he choked the creole cop long and hard! |
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| long and hard... |
Pa grabbed the Cop from behind with a rear choke hold. With both men slippery from sweat, the Cop was able to turn and punch Pa hard in his chiseled abs. “OOHHMMPPHH…” grunted Pa from the brutal blow as he groaned and staggered back holding his rippling mid-section. Pa barely managed to stay on his feet. This young stallion was a hell of a fighter!
Pa held the Cop off his feet by the throat with one hand, pinning him against the brick wall of the alley.
BAMMMMM!!!
The Cop’s hard head simply seemed to explode when the steel fist slammed into his jaw. The young brick shithouse saw stars from the blow. His eyes rolled back as he let out a grunt, his huge arms dropping. Pa had slugged the Cop's squared jaw and the young bull's lights went out. He didn’t hear it, but the crowd cheered one last time. When Pa released his grip on the Cop's throat, he fell to the pavement and lay there, he didn’t move except for the heaving of his chest - he was out cold. Pa had cold-cocked the rippling muscled young lion.
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| ~art by Enrique Nieto Nadal~ Pa was excited to release all that pent up violence, that he kept bottled up when he was among his fellow Amish! |
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| ~art by Enrique Nieto Nadal~ Pa strutted out of the alley, making sure the crowd got a great view of his huge back and ass. |
Pa strutted out of the alley, making sure the crowd got a great view of his huge back and ass. The Cop was still out cold. Pa made a point of stepping over the Cop's knocked-out huge, rippling muscled body on his way out the alley.
"I will catch up with you in the morning Mule, I have to see a man about a horse!" Pa hollered at me as he left with Costume Boi. As I later found out, Costume Boi had literally taken Pa to see a man about a horse.
Epilogue: Love in the air at Mardis Gras
"I will catch up with you in the morning Mule, I have to see a man about a horse!" Pa hollered at me as he left with Costume Boi. As I later found out, Costume Boi had literally taken Pa to see a man about a horse.
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| The City is no place for a horse. You will love the farm! |
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No, you won't be pulling a plow or a buggy. You are going to be my Amish mid-life crisis version of a Corvette. |
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Oh, yeah. I can't wait to been seen riding you back home. The men will be jealous and the women will be wet... |
Epilogue: Love in the air at Mardis Gras
I rolled the KO'd cop over on his side to make sure he didn't swallow his tongue or some shit. After letting some time pass, I poured a cup of ice left over from my Mt Dew on him, to wake him up. It was almost time for the traditional clearing of the streets at midnight, by the we-stop-for-nothing French Quarter street sweepers. I figured I was going to have to talk him out of putting charges on Pa for assaulting a cop. But it turned out he as cool as fuck about it.
"So, you're from Breaux Bridge, huh?" I said. The Cop's response of mais oui launched a discussion of Cajun southwest Louisiana. A discussion that continued over a late night breakfast at the Camellia Grill, followed by a stop at Café du Monde for beignets and Chicory Coffee, with us finally ending up playing a game of Bouré back at the Cabildo. It turned out we knew a shit tonne of the same people, places and things. I introduced myself as Mule, and he introduced himself as Narcisse Tchadmèche, but everybody called him, Trey
Eventually as we discussed all the things we had in common over a bottle of Jack, a bucket of Popeye's and some cigars, we got to the subject of how we both had been thoroughly ass kicked by the Pa. I related my experience, putting as good a spin to it as I could so I wouldn't come across as a total pussy boy. I guess my version was pretty descriptive, because the GigaChad Cop's thundercock and my own donkey dick had both swelled into twin throbbing, leaking 9" rock hard erections.
Of course, as two aroused and somewhat inebriated alpha males, we had to prove which one of us was the boss. (Did you really think this was going to end up with us having tea and crumpets and talking about our feelings?)
The Cop bowed up against me, placing both his hands on my boulder shoulders. Like he had done unsuccessfully with Pa, he tired to bulldoze me with pure strength. He growled fiercely and shoved me backward, trying to get him me balance. I resisted the powerful shove however, and placed one foot behind me to brace himself. When I knew my balance was secure, I lifted my other knee to once again connect painfully with his bull sized nutsack. The Cop grunted, but the tough guard could take a lot of ball pain.
“That’s the last time you touch my nuts, phaggot,” said the Cop, and swung a powerful left fist that connected with my handsome head, sloshing my brain inside my gorilla thick skull and making me see stars. I managed to stay on my feet and curl my own bare hands into fists of steel, and throwing a powerful punch that fist-fucked the brick wall of abs protecting the Cop's belly and momentarily paralyzing his diaphragm.
“BOOM, bitch!” I yelled exuberantly as my punch folded my opponent almost in half. A lungful of air, and a mouth full of spit come flying out of his shocked, bug eyed face. as he was impaled by my massive, iron fist. "And don’t call me a phaggot,” I said ominously. Recovering from the blow to his diaphragm, the Cop sucked in a chest full of air, his handsome pecs swelling in manly splendor.
The black musclestud growled as he threw himself on top of his blond musclestud opponent to get me into a full nelson. I could feel his long black thick hot cock pressing against my asshole as our beefy muscle-stud bodies pressed together. I could feel the Cop’s hot breath on my neck and his thick beefy pecs as they smashed against my back.
Trey goes from a full-nelson to a half-nelson so he can roll me over on my back. Then he drops down atop me for a full body press, making sure his cock overlaps my cock. Trey then reaches up to stretch my arms out over my head and begins a man-to-man cock grind on me. I try to buck up but Trey grinds faster and harder…grating his hershey kiss-sized black nips over my hard spiking nips and drooling down over my face as he rides me hard in a full body man press. Trey has mounted his black mamba snake over my out stretched white anaconda cock and is fucking my cock into full submission.
Trey is topping me, keeping me on the bottom to make me feel submissive. I am squirming and moaning as I feel my black rival work his face into the side of mine. He is determined to sexually overpower me and make my body his. I resist his lips and dark snaking tongue, but he forces his tongue into my mouth. I find my mouth full of the Cop's dominate tongue as he continues with the sexual grinding of their two bodies to force my cock to surrender to Trey’s black snake.
Just as the black cock is about to force my big nuts to gush out a massive load of white man seed, Trey rises up and slides down to let his pulsating black cock to seek out my ass hole. I feel the huge black cock pressing up against my hole. Then Trey snakes his huge bodybuilder legs around my equally huge bodybuilder legs in a grapevine. He uses the grapevine to pull my legs wide apart, spreading my glutes and allowing the black muscle hunk to slide his horse sized cock up and down my ass crack. He spread the pre'cum that was leaking out his cock like a faucet up and down, lubing me up with his cock snot. He was making me moan as the huge cock slipped and slid across my twitching butt hole, until both his long cock and my asshole were compeltely coated with precum. The musky smell of my own gaping butt hole fills the air. While staring down into my face Trey prepares to ram his hard black cock balls deep into my hole to make me his bottom bitch and claim the title of who the real manliest man is.
"Yeah, Muscleboy! This fancy apartment is now my new 'white muscle-boy breeding grounds'! I'm gonna fuck you like you never been fucked before and fill that ass with my black man seed....I’m going to plow the shit out of you, " Trey boasts, his arrogance restored after his humiliation by Amish Pa. “ That's right, I’m gonna take your big ass now, muscleboy. I’m gonna tear it open with my big straight dick,and pump it till I nut inside you, and fills it with shot after shot of black meat-cream. You know who’s boss now...don’t ya, bitch!”
"Nah, you're going to be the bitch, tonight, bitch..." I said.
As the Cop leaned in I head-butted him in the forehead, snapping his skull back and dazing him. When he lifted his head I head-butted him again. Then I grabbed him by the back of the neck and slammed him face first into the hard wood floor. CRACCKKKK!!! Then I whispered right into his ear, “That's right, it's My turn bitch!” But the Cop couldn't hear me. He was out cold.
As Trey woke up from his flash knock out, he felt something brush against his hole as his beefy legs were raised higher and propped onto my strong, yard-wide shoulders. Then something thick and blunt pushed against his entrance. It felt big and it was wet and slick. His muscled arms flailed but I took one wrist in each of my strong hands and held them against my calves as the blunt tip of of dick went grazing back and forth over his back door entrance. Now it was the Cop's turn to feel a huge dick against his ass.
“F-fuuuck!!!!” the impaled Trey yelled out, “Fuck, f-fuck, fuck, take it out! Take it out!!”
“Not a chance, muscle boy,” I chuckled, "you had your fun, stud! Now it's my turn on top!" I slowly push my donkey sized boner even further up the Cop's tight shitchute, easily controlling the Cop's huge sculpted muscles and showing him who was in charge.
"For fucks sakes, bro, man up! You were a top high school and collegiate athlete. You can take a butt-fucking." I told the whimpering 243 pounds of black muscle and masculinity. "Now, flip over on your belly and bite the pillow, bitch!"
I swirled my hot tongue around his cockhead bathing it with flowing saliva. I inserted the tip of my tongue deep inside the policeman's wide slit. Trey shrieked as it entered his urethra, his entire body thrashing and convulsing. As he continued to emit animal growls, Trey reached across my body and brought his slobbering mouth down on my throbbing fire hose. With his lips clamped tightly around my steel pipe, he very slowly lowered his mouth, until he felt his stubbly chin connect with my bush.
He shoved his own colossal tool down my throat. A lengthy bodybuilder 69er ensued as our scorching bodies writhed against each other. Rolling around on the bed, we changed position several times, never once releasing the other's manmeat as we fucked each other's slurping mouths, all the while grunting and growling in sexual abandon.
Suddenly, with the lawman back on top, our two bodies became rigid as our bloated testicles could no longer contain the hot semen, and they released their white lava through our piss chutes. We both gasped as the first jet of jock-juice exploded down each other's throat. The enormous combined mass of our sweaty muscle jerked uncontrollably, with each eruption of the white lava. There seemed to be no end to the supply of hot milky spunk. We swallowed as much of it as we could as we groaned with pleasure. As the tide finally subsided the drained cop hunk moved around to embrace me.
We exchanged a kiss, mixing our thick baby batter inside each other's mouth, lapping up the jism that had run down our chins. Completely satiated and satisfied, with our nuts emptied, we fell into a deep sleep in each other's massive arms. In the morning, me and my new buddy made plans to meet up in Lafayette for the Breaux Bridge Crawfish Festival in May.
We exchanged a kiss, mixing our thick baby batter inside each other's mouth, lapping up the jism that had run down our chins. Completely satiated and satisfied, with our nuts emptied, we fell into a deep sleep in each other's massive arms. In the morning, me and my new buddy made plans to meet up in Lafayette for the Breaux Bridge Crawfish Festival in May.
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| Dude, props fo' findin dis pimp Costume fo' me ta wear at Crawfish Festival. Yo sure do have pimped out taste in clothes, my man! |
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| Oh, thank you, Mr. Police Officer, Sir! I work in the fashion industry! I'm an assistant window dresser at Rubenstein's! |
Amish Pa returned to the tranquil 19th century life of Lancaster County...
