Had to drive some slut to the 24 hour CVS at 3 a.m. to pick up Plan B after pill after I banged her in a day-long house shaking, bed-breaking campaign of pussy slammage. Didn't get home and in bed till almost 4 am. ... so I'm a little seedy this morning.
My neighbors are getting a wood deck added to their condo - started yesterday
0530 Sunday morning I hear an air compressor start. I think no biggy, maybe it was left on yesterday, and it's re-filling.
Next fucking minute! a Nail guns firing, sander going!
WHAT THE FUCK BRO!!!
I open my window "Hey ... HEY , HEY !!!!!!!!".
I get no response so I whistle. Dick head carpenter stops what he's doing and looks around. He's just in cutoff shorts, boots, toolbelt. young, looks about 6'2'', 240. Rocking some construction muscle and some ink. . He probably is used to intimidating other dudes.
I yell out "BRO, YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS? You reckon you can turn that off?"
Kunt straight up replies "Nahhhh!"
So my blood starts to boil a bit, and I try to keep my cool, and say. "Brah, it's against the law to use power tools before 7 am, in a residential area" (I don't know that for a fact but if it ain't a law it should be....)
Kunt replies, "I don't give a fuck...."
This kunt! . so ima like : "O.k. how 'bout I come turn it off?"
Kunt then replies "How about I smash your face?" This Carpenter was not modeling himself after Jesus, in fact I would guess if Jesus had met him, rather than turning the other cheek, he would of punched this asshole's lights out.
SMASH MY FACE? IS THAT FUCKING RIGHT!!! I think....
All this time the construction dude can't really see me because I'm talking through the window, . So I fly out my back door - kicked it open, swole up in just my undies ready to jump the fence and rock this bish'
I look at the kunt direct in the eyes as I'm heading towards the fence. I can see ABJECT TERROR in his eyes, and he can see the anger and determination in mine!
HAHAHA! THE BRO FUCKING STRAIGHT UP DROPPED HIS NUTS.... HE LOOKED JUST LIKE SIMBA GETTING CHASED BY THE STAMPEDE IN THE LION KING.
He Started backing up, hands up, as if I was strapped and pointing a gun at him, saying "NAH NAH NAH! Bro... I'll turn it off! Bro please! Brooooo....!"
I swear if he was a dog, his tail would have been between his legs, and he'd have been pissing all over himself. From the waft of urine reaching my nostrils, I would say he probably did piss himself a bit.
I turn around, and begin strutting back triumphantly back home, when I hear the cowardly sneak trying to attack me from behind. I spin around and see the 'Snidely whiplash' expression on his face being replaced with 'Janet Leigh in the Shower' and at this point I am sporting a bit of a PSYCHO demeanor.
He swings a left, clips my granite chin, but I barely flinch. Then he brandishes his nail gun menacingly at me, but his knees are knocking so it was clear the fucker was too scared to use it. So I kick the nail gun outta his hand and take a left to HIS JAW which connects with a sickening crack that has his eyes flashing TILT! as he staggers back. Then I followed that with a kick to the gut, then as he staggers back again, charge and head butt him in the gut, and then swing my skull up like a club against his jaw so that he is seeing stars and hearing tweety birds. Then it is time for my closing sequence as I then swing his wobbly leg self under my crotch with a 'pedigree', then I throws him down grabs his legs and 'walls of Jericho' his ass, followed that up with my signature 'roid rage gorilla toss... and he was done....
He is laid out like a Sunday picnic. He is a collection of welts and bruises, I simply lean down and say " Leave it off until 7" , turn around and start to walk back inside.
I have taken about six steps when I hear a noise behind me. I am still processing the noise in my head, but before I can turn around I realize it was the sound of a tool belt being unbuckled and then dropping to the ground. I shake my head and swagger on, after the drubbing I just gave him, no way he is going to pull any more shit.
Before I realize what is happening, Carpenter has snapped a full nelson on me. “ Gotcha!!! Try getting’ out of this one, shithead” And the pressure that The carpenter quickly exerted, forced a groan from my throat.
He raised his forearms, his huge biceps setting under my pits, and locked his fingers behind my bull neck. Immediately, the Carpenter powered on the full nelson, powering up my giant arms vertically, and forcing my chin down deep into my chest! This workman is incredibly strong. I choke out grunts, my massive chest heaving, my iron hard musclegut contracting into six solid bricks. My fists clenched, as I slowly start to power his mammoth, thickly veined arms down. It's the Carpenter's turn to grunt, powering back, his awesome strength showing as he forces my gigantic arms back up almost hydraulically. Again I clench my fists, my triceps the size of over inflated footballs as I flex down. Again the Carpenter powers back, driving my colossal arms skyward, setting his hulking muscle tits into my rippling back. Carpenter's bicep veins explode like cables, his massive shoulders and arms swell as his massive power focuses on my massive neck and giant traps.
I strained desperately against the ferocious pressure on my neck, trying to stay erect, all the muscles of my back and neck dancing under my bronzed skin in the supreme effort to stay standing. I tried to break the hold, but my triceps were no match for the Carpenter's biceps. It was a battle of my white collar gym muscle versus his blue collar muscle. My strength came from pushing iron in the gym for an hour a day, his strength was the result of carrying lumber and concrete eight hours a day. The carpenter ate his lunch out a lunch pail every day, I took my lunch eating with clients at fancy restaurants. Had all those expense account lunches made me soft? The carpenter laughed in my earhole: “ Feel these 19" arms of mine. I am going to use them to break that thick bull neck of yours. I’ve broken tougher fighters than you, sweetheart”. I could feel the tendons and my prize winning traps beginning to tear and the vertebrae in my neck making snap, crackle, and pop noise like breakfast cereal. The pain was excruciating. He licked the bulging vertebrae on the back of my neck. My C-6 vertebrae he was targeting was close to fracturing. "Almost man. Listen for the "pop". I'm gonna put you in a fucking neck brace...." The power house of a workman was making good on his boast to break my powerful neck. He was determined to put me in a cervical neck brace for a least a month, to make sure I had a daily reminder of who the stronger man was. That shit may have worked on others that he fought, but he hadn't reckoned on my monstrous trapezius muscles, that were bulging out Hulk style.
Unable to effectuate his signature take-down, my assailant was forced to improvise on his brawling script. The powerful carpenter lifted me off his feet, swung me around by my neck. When he dropped me back to my feet, I doubled over, surprising him with a speed and agility not typically found in a guy my size; and I reached down and grabbed the carpenter’s right leg, dragging it forward so that the big fighter crashed backwards to the ground with me on top of him. He lost his hold and I rolled away trying to regroup and get my neck working again; but the carpenter, on a roll now, was on me straightaway. “Get up, boy!” he hissed and dragged me to my feet by the blond hair of my head, some of the stands coming out in his hand, as he immediately picked me up in a crotch hold, holding me high in the air with one hand twisting my bull balls. Beads of sweat spray off my horizontal golden body onto the smiling face of my opponent, before he power-slams me to the ground with such force that it seemed to send a shudder through the earth.
As I groaned in pain, the carpenter sat on my chest, so that his huge cock, now at full mast, was nudging my chin through his cut offs. “Whadya say, blondie, I proved I can kick your ass....want to quit now, and suck my big cock before I start breaking bones?”
I just growled back: "My turn!"
It was not my words, but my actions that caught the Carpenter by surprise. Again it was my great speed and agility that came to the rescue, as I kicked my long powerful legs back to capture the carpenter’s body, dislodging him from his roost atop my chest, and then consolidating my position with a bodyscissor, applied sideways on the ground. The carpenter could feel the incredible power of my scissors slicing deep into the contours of his torso. My fists played with his head like a speedbag, until he was likely seeing seven or eight Mules, and probably hearing such a cacophony of bells in his head, such that it sounded like Christmas morning.
Mule's fist warning: Do not attempt to use power tools or heavy equipment when under the influence of being hit by these sledgehammers.
“I like breaking bones too, cupcake” as I dug my knees into his ribs. The Carpenter just gritted his teeth and closed his eyes, groggily determined to contain his agony and remain conscious. My fists fired again, this time putting the hurt on his liver and kidneys, The Carpenter uttered a shriek of pain.
The Carpenter was almost out when I lifted by his ears to a standing position, with me behind him, as I set him up for a rear bearhug. The Carpenter felt his ribcage circled by my two sinewy quadacondas, after carefully positioning my feet firmly on the ground, I seized the Carpenter and in one crunching movement, I lifted the muscleman right off the ground as he winced and howled.
The Carpenter made a pathetic attempt to fight the hold, but he was a spent force, and I doubled the pressure. All the air was pumped out of his lungs, as the Carpenter hung there helpless in my embrace. I was arching my back to lift him off the ground, sweating pouring out from the bronzed skins, my powerful arms swelling to the max, muscles dancing.
The Carpenter was getting weaker and weaker, he was on the verge of passing out, on his knees, his arms dangling useless on his sides, his hands resting on the ground, his head bent down, he did not have the force to even lift it. I was just behind him, my legs spread, grinning, my arms large along his sides, ready for the last triumph, the ultimate image of the victor: “Time to go to bed, you tradie shit” I said as I circled his neck with my powerful arms in a sleeper hold, my biceps contracted, crushing the neck of the feebly struggling Carpenter. The Carpenter stopped fighting after 30 – 35 seconds, but I kept the hold on for 30 seconds more, before kicking The Carpenter ’s back to the ground on his belly, out cold as all fuck. "Sweet dreams of sugar plums, ya big cream-puff. That'll teach you to mess with Mule!" I look down on him, his face and body is so bruised and swollen up that he resembles Quasimodo.
I strutted back to my home and back to bed.
It's 07:43 now and he still hasn't turned it back on. Fkn ROFL!
Maybe I should go tell him he can use it now? Maybe he is still 'napping'.
Cliffs
-Sleeping
-Neighbor getting wood deck added to next door condo
-Carpenter operating power tools early as FUCK!
-Carpenter gives me lip
-Carpenter drops nuts
-Carpenter still hasn't started up his shit
