Mule v. Flying Saucers 2: Mule Rogers in the 25th Century

Readers of this blog have given this story a rating of 4.9 Tribbles out of 5!

Now while my adventures normally tend to be earth-bound as well as muscle-bound, this particular adventure involves a trip across time and space, that will perhaps will stretch the credulity of some of them more cynical and skeptical of my blog readers.  Although I  can't remember all the details clearly,  I assure you that what I am about to tell you, while sounding fantastic, is the God's honest truth!

O.K. maybe I was not EXACTLY a boy scout, but I have eaten a lot of Girl Scout cookies, and fucked a bunch of MILF Den Mothers and even a hot Eagle Scout once, so that to me is approximately the same thing. 

So this is how it all went down best as I can recall:

I was out with a casual making out in a romantic spot up above Boulder in my jeep, when suddenly there was a blazing light on my vehicle and the it began to shake like we were in the movie San Andreas, starring the Rock, Dwayne Johnson! 

Mule, my man!

So naturally I thought: 

To understand my pre-existing enmity to aliens check out the vignette: Mule vs. the Flying Saucers!

We got out of the Jeep, to take a look:

Linda, the sloot I was with, de-materialized before my eyes! 

 I  shook my fist defiantly, if somewhat pointlessly  at the huge spacecraft in the sky.

Fuckin' Illegal aliens, I am going to get all MAGA up your
anal probing asses!

The Covfefe were an aggressive humanoid alien race that had come to earth to plunder our natural resources, mainly in the form of our hottest sloots!  Anyone who has ever seen a sci fi flick, know those alien fuckers are all hot for earth-chicks, and the Covefefe were no different.  In an effort to make themselves the biggest and baddest mofos in the Galaxy, they had bred the females right out of their own species. Yeah, you heard that right.  They were an all male species! Thus they needed to plunder females from other compatible species  to reproduce.   Now anybody who has ever watched SCIFI  knows that all humanoid species across the Galaxy can interbreed with one another.  So don't be asking the hows and whys, I'm a sports lawyer not a biologist, damn it!  Now it just so happens that the  girl I was canoodling with that night, was an even when sober HB10!  That is just how I roll.  So she must of came up on their mawhatsizligig viewscreen, or what ever Star Treky, high tech. futuristic technology these fuckers possess! Hey I'm a sports lawyer not an engineer, damn it!

Meanwhile on the Covfefe spacecraft:

The humans are so weak and puny!

But their females fuck so well!

Is there anyone among this weak and pitiful species who
 will challenge me in unarmed combat?

That was MY sloot, you goddamn illegal alien wankers!
 C'mon down here and I will smash your weanie alien faces in!

\

What is that you say ensign?  One of the humans has issued
 a challenge? Beam him to the Arena.  I will deal with him.

"We must  fuck later,  earth female.  Now I must take care of your braggadocious companion.  Unfortunately, women are not allowed in the Arena.  Otherwise  I would let you witness as I destroy him piece by piece.  I am sure you have no problem with that.  All females want to mate with the biggest and strongest male she can find.  When a superior male, such as I ,comes along she will leave her mate for the Alpha Male.  It is part of the female gene code in all known species."

"I don't know, baby, Mule is really strong and loves to fight. Don't underestimate him" Linda cooed to her new Honey.  Yeah, these hoes ain't loyal.  What else is new.

"Even better" thundered the Covefefe leader, in a voice that was dripping with  testosterone and confidence in a way only men of incredible muscularity do. "I enjoy wrestling men of all sizes and species,  but there is a special feeling I get when I get the the upper-hand  over an opponent who who is my equal or close to it. I have not been impressed by the human males I have encountered.  I like to be challenged. I like to be pushed to my limits and come out on top. I want to leave the arena knowing I have beaten a good opponent. Alpha male versus the Alpha male, wrestling for top, as is the Covfefe way.  As the winning Alpha male I will make your ex-mate my alpha bitch. The sex will be forced and brutal, sweaty and rough. I will  totally dominate him and make him take the submissive role.   I will fuck him like a cheap whore and enjoy every minute of it. Just thinking about it gives me a boner."

The bish smiled, like the whore she was.

"And it makes you hot too... I can smell your pussy getting wet..." he continued.

"Fucking right it makes me hot, big man. I got a she-boner and my vag is flowing like Niagara Falls. Just the thought of you fucking that arrogant musclebound prick after you kick his ass... so hot .... wow, just wow!  And you sure got the muscle to back up your mouth.  Please tell me more..." a horned up Linda begged. 

The Covfefe didn't need much prodding: " It's the  thrill of having two muscle studs who know they can defeat most anyone their size...and then putting that reputation on the line to see who can kick and then fuck whose ass. When two muscle studs first meet:    there is the initial stare-down, gazing at each other,  Then some overt flexing and posing, sizing up one another. . After working out in the gym for hours, hitting the iron, both of us will have that pumped up feeling of invincibility from all that testosterone raging in our balls. It's the perfect time for  alpha versus alpha fighting. Fighting for ultimate supremacy," the Covfefe leader patiently explained to Linda. " But now I must go and meet your ex-mate in the Arena in unarmed hand to hand combat."

"Okay, be careful Captain Muscles  and come back soon.  I want all the details of how you beat Mule and how you fuck him.  I don't want you to leave out a thing.  I will lick your balls and suck your dick while blowing you  while you give me the blow by blow..."  (she giggled at that)  "...and then you can fuck me in the ass while I finger fuck my clit  as I imagine it all in my mind..." --Linda promised,  although the Covfefe Leader needed  no additional incentives.

We will fuck later, earth female. Now I must take care
of your braggadocious companion by hand to hand
combat, in the Arena.

Then I was hit by the alien teleporter beam. Unlike with Linda, it was done in a two staged process, first they dematerialized my clothes, I guess to humiliate me...

Then I was hit by the alien teleporter beam

Hey, I was using those!

Then they teleported me, ME,  up to their damn flying illegal alien 'roach coach' food truck!  They better have TACOS, and none of that anal probing, is what I was thinking as I dematerialized.

Crazy way to travel, spreading a man's molecules all over
the universe!

The Covfefe 

The thing about the Covfefe is that not only  were they genetically bred to be supermen, but throughout their lives they maintain a tough regimen of physical training, exercise and martial arts. Also, they come from a world with 1.5 times the gravity of earth. To function in such and environment, the Covfefe have developed dense muscle fibers, like those of a Chimpanzee, which not only give the Covfefe great strength, but also function as a type of organic body armor, making them very difficult to injure. All of which makes them a race of bad-ass bastards.   On the other hand, it turns out that the Covfefe weren't all that bright or creative. They were more apt to want to try and cram a square peg in a round hole than to figure out how to make a round peg.  On Earth, we put a man on the moon within sixty years of the first heavier than air flight.  On Covfefe,  these gym monkeys had not invented anything on their own in 10,0000 years. Their planet had two sentient species, the meatheads, and a race of nerds called the Dweebans, who invented all the amazing technology the Covfefe now use. The Covfefe had enslaved the Dweebans; and confined them to basements with computers, supplied with sugary and salty snacks, and carbonated drinks, and the Dweebans were surprisingly happy.  Their Covfefe  rulers spent their days lifting weights and drinking protein shakes. The Covfefe, truth be known, were a race of meatheads.

Urban Dictionary: Meathead

As Meatheads, they were not into the finer features of civilization, like comfy chairs, fine music, works of art and design aesthetics.

The Covfefe vessel was an ugly thing, placing form and
function over style and aesthetics!

The Covfefian warriors have ranks based on their prowess in fighting ad fucking. The ranks are denoted by the colour of their body jewels: gold, silver and copper. Since leadership roles and dispute resolution in the Covfefe culture were matters settled by unarmed hand to hand combat, all Covfefe starships had a large onboard combat arena where the fights took place.  I was beamed directly to this arena to face the Covfefe leader who had taken my angry words as an acceptance of his challenge.

The onboard Covfefe combat arena 

Face-to-Face  with the Covfefe Leader

We stood face to face, me naked and the Covfefe Leader  was wearing, well, was wearing something.  It looked sort of like the getup Xerxes wore in the move "300".  I later learned that these were bio-cybernetic implants, but they looked like gaudy bling to me! 

Our eyes locked in steel stares, man to alien, each intimidating the other with his flinch less glare.  I could see the alien's muscle- packed body was as powerful and defined as my own.  I would soon know how it feels for our muscular bodies to press together and match strength for strength.

A staredown, human to Covfefean 

The alien's muscle packed body looked as powerful
 and defined as my own

  " Before we fight, we  must  first compare our physical development earthman.  That is the custom on my planet."  the Covfefe Leader explained.  The two giants breathed hard as their eyes remained locked.

Before we fight, we must first compare our physical
development earthman. That is the Covfefe custom.

  I was  first to move.  With my experienced eye,  I could tell that my  22 inch steel-girded arms outgunned the Covfefe Captain's arms by at least a full inch.  Slowly, I raised one arm and pumped it into an insanely huge ball of peaked muscle.  The individual heads of my muscle fibers danced right in front of the Covfefe Skipper's face.  I raised my other arm and grinned slightly as I showed off my superior arm development.  If the Covfefe Leader's muscle density made his muscles more powerful than mine, then they had better be pretty DAMN dense!  I extended one arm and my biceps lengthened.  The Covfefe Commander knew he couldn't compete, so he left his huge arms at his sides.  I  retracted my biceps and tightened it again, the huge, pulsing grapefruit mushrooming to the size of a soccer ball.

In response, the Covfefe Leader looked down at his legs and began to flex them.  His quads looked to be larger than mine, which makes sense since Covfefe's gravity is 1.5x that of earth.  As the muscles rippled, I dropped my arms in awe.  The Covfefe Boss continued to flex and tighten his massive legs, bulging his striated quads. Fuck, it might be worthwhile moving to Covfefe for a while if I could develope quads that size. My cock began to rise as I witnessed this demonstration of pure  Covfefean muscle.

The Covfefe Leader, seeing the effect he was having on the earthling, shoved his gargantuan leg in between my legs, and flexed it some more.  I didn't move.    I found himself  overcome by the Covfefe Commander's flexing leg!  As I stood there my cock  reached full erection.  The Covfefe Captain tightened and relaxed his leg in a slow, erotic rhythm, as my low hanging sperm-churning balls rested on the moving muscle.  My precum pushed up out of the top of my dick and began to dribble down the sides of my huge cock.  I leaned back slightly and grabbed my own big muscled butt, feeling lightheaded from the Covfefe Leader's sexual touch.  Fuck, that felt good.  I wanted some more of that!

  So I  squeezed my legs together, wrapping them around the Covfefe Captain's huge leg, to invite him to repeat the tease.  The Covfefe Leader didn't oblige.  He froze his eyes on mine, and we again joined in a battle of wills; the Covfefe Skipper forcing his massive leg between mine, and me attempting to resist the incredible sensation of muscle and pleasure.

Finally, having resisted as long as humanly possible, I closed my eyes, drew in a deep breath and spread my legs. I pulled back slowly.  The Covfefe Big Cheese grinned at the effect he had had on me.  Undaunted, I moved into a most-muscular pose.  My traps bulged into two mountains.  The Covfefe Leader, who had a  neck as thick as mine, likewise struck a most muscular.  The Covfefe Captain's neck swelled.  We faced each other, as our  bodies tightened into two granite mounds of flexing mass.  It look like a tie.

But I wasn't done. My fortress of a chest has always been the   strongest feature of my god like physique. I assumed a side chest pose.  The Covfefe Leader immediately relaxed, his attention irresistibly drawn to my  huge bulging pecs.  Here, too, the Covfefe Skipper was not in my league.  My  mighty chest swelled with unreal muscle power.  The cleavage deepened and deepened. My  large nipples faced the floor, their direction determined by the over-sized mass of muscle pushing them downward. I  could see that the Covfefe Commander was getting aroused.  "Ah, so  a huge chest was the Covfefe Leader's weakness?"-- I thought.

I relaxed my chest and the Covfefe Leader was  looking dejected.  I  relaxed my arms to my sides and slowly began to dance my pecs for the muscled alien.   The symmetry of my body was astounding, with no body part too small or too big- yet ALL of them ENORMOUS!  I moved closer to the Covfefe Leader. The Covfefe Top Banana's huge penis began to tighten, his eyes lustily locked on my chest.  I danced my beefy pecs again.  The Covfefe Skipper's non- human cock was now at full mast, and dripping. Even in his gold speedos I could tell his cock was HUGE.  I need me some gold speedos like that, I thought, as I reached down and took the Covfefe Commander's hand and placed it on my own left pec.  Slowly, I began to move the steel-hard muscle under the Covfefe Leader's fingers.  the Covfefe Captain's cock bristled, as the waves of pleasure rolled off my massive pec, onto the Covfefe Commander's hand and down his fucking ripped arm, onto his torso, down his cut abs, and out onto his throbbing cock.  The Covfefe Kingpin, snuggled next to my still flexing body  began to pinch the huge numb of tit  that was spiking out of my massive right pec .  He twisted it.  As he did, he moved his mouth to my left nipple and began sucking and biting it while he teased my right tit with his strong fingers.  I flexed more, although I will admit to himself that the Covfefe Leader's reaction was turning me on to no end.  Apparently being an all male species these dudes knew how to pleasure another dude.  This human and the alien were losing themselves in mutual lust for each other. I was about to be this Covfefean muscle god's girlfriend.

There were moans coming from both me, the muscle-man, and the muscled-space being.  I continued to dance my pecs, while the Covfefe Leader tasted the warm, pulsing meat.

"Alright, Terran, enough of this..." the Covfefe Beast said.   His timing was lousy.  This was just getting interesting.  "There's no doubt you have a superb body, human..." he extolled. "But massive muscles are only part of the overall equation. We must see which of us is the strongest!"  He paused a moment and we separated.  We stood face to face,  each with raging, dripping hardons and each superhuman body glistening with the first signs of sweat.

'Lock up with me in a test of strength." the Covfefe muscleman demanded. From his tone, you could tell he was used to giving orders.

"Wut?" I asked. I didn't appreciate being ordered around by this over muscled goon from some rink-a-dink planet I had never even heard of. At least the prick could have asked nicely with a please.  


"A test of strength," reiterated the bossy alien asshole as he held his hands high in the air. "Come on, earthling! Show me how strong you are."

"Fuck it" I thought as I raised my hands up. "I'm gonna shut this other-worldly fucker up and then I'm gonna shut him down for good!"

Then it was two Herculean musclemen, each from different worlds, locking  fingers as we applied all our might in a test for dominance.  We both grunted from the exertion. Our faces strained from our efforts. Our massive chests collided as we struggled to overpower the other. We each kept adjusting our leg stance for better leverage. To my shock and humiliation I was eventually powered down to my knees. Valiantly I tried to power my way back up but all my attempts failed. My hands were forced backwards to the point of almost being snapped off at the wrists. I cried out in pain. Then my victorious  Covfefe opponent  released me. 

Still on my knees, I shook out my wrists. When I looked up the Covefefe powerhouse's banana hammock complete with monstrous  cock bulge was right in front of my face.  The thong was straining to hold back a  massively thick schlong the size of an anaconda, and the huge, intimidating  hunk of manmeat was only inches from my mouth.  The proud owner of the imposing genitalia   was standing  over me, legs spread far apart, his hands on his hips. his magnificent Covfefe physique on full display.

"Not bad," thundered the powerful, mammothly muscular Covfefean with a smirk. "Clearly your species is very powerful. Almost as strong as the Covfefe!  Not bad at all! You did far better than any other species has done in our test of strenght!"

Then it was two Herculean musclemen each from different
worlds locking fingers as we applied all our might in a test for
 dominance.

We both grunted from the exertion. Our faces strained
 from our efforts.

Our massive chests collided as we struggled to overpower
 the other.

'

Not bad so far for such an inferior species!

You could use a tic-tac Covfefe!

"Now, Mule, it’s time for 'Latchkum'  the final test.”  the Covfefe Leader said. I was pretty sure I knew what was coming.   "...Our ancient custom of trial by hand to hand combat, which we call 'Latchkum' works like this,” the Covfefean continued “Each of us will try to "rape" the other. Covfefe versus human. The first one to have an orgasm inside the other will be declared the winner! But not only do you have to fuck your opponent, you must make your opponent cum while you’re fucking him.”   That's funny, I thought, these so called advanced aliens settle things just like alpha male musclemen here on earth have done since caveman days.

The Covfefe Leader looked at me, expecting fear and trepidation, but instead he saw  a slight grin erupting my face as our  eyes met. A loser gets fucked match by any other name (even a weird-ass alien name) is still a loser gets fucked match.  "I got this" I thought.  The Covfefe Head Honcho's eyes blazed with anger, mixed with  lust and power.

We immediately began to grapple, our muscular arms slapping together, rippling with mounds of iron.  We grunted, our throats straining with each breath.  Our  legs tightened and bulged as we spread them  for stability.  Our struggle intensified.  Our breathing deepened.  Our cocks soon dropped as our attention moved from lust to survival and the blood moved from out of our dicks to other muscles where it was needed.

We engage in actual combat at last!

We each kept adjusting our leg stance for better leverage.

Every move I made, the Covfefe easily countered, I would
have to up my game, this alien was no pushover, like the last
 bunch!

Our struggle intensified.  Our breathing deepened.

Our cocks soon dropped as our attention moved from
 lust to survival

The Covfefe Skipper took on the offensive role as I tried to evade him.  The Covfefe Captain reached down and grabbed my leg, to take me down to the floor. I pushed back and the Covfefe Top Banana's grip was lost.  The Covfefe Leader came at me again, his head down.  He head butted me, burying the top of his hard head up to his ears  in my rock hard  abs. UUFFFFFFF!!! as the air and spit flew out my mouth like a whale's blowhole as I folded in half, his head still buried deep in my gut.. Then he  straightened his back, lifting my huge body  off the floor.  I pounded my arms downward against the colossal slabs of beef on the Covfefe Leader's  Dodge mini-van sized back, to no avail.  

The Covfefe Captain was tossing me
 around like a rag doll!

Down I went again...

...and again...

...and again!

This frankly  was not healthy for my self-esteem, didn't this
 friggin' alien know I was a sensitive millennial?

The Covfefe Captain's fucking huge legs rippled as he walked around with me bent over his shoulders.  I flailed my arms, pounding my steel beams into the Covfefe Boss's back.    

Finally, I was able to flex my  abs and thrust my knees against the Covfefe Chief's chest and knocked him off-balance. KAPOW! The Covfefe Captain fell backwards and now we were both  on the floor.

I  mounted the Covfefe Leader and tried to hold him down, about to 'ground and pound'  him. I could hear a song in my head  "🎵It's raining fists!  Hallelujah! It's raining fists!🎵"  The Covfefe Chief broke up my musical interlude by  thrusting  his knee into my over sized  crotch - UFFFFFHHHH!!!- and with a bellow like a castrated bull, I  buckled, falling to the side.  The Covfefe Captain stood up, and I  followed.  Both of us panted hard.  We dove at each other again, our muscular bodies hugging in a battle of power. 

We dove at each other again, our muscular bodies hugging in
 a battle of power. Finally, we locked hands, our fingers
intertwining.

Finally, we locked hands, our  fingers intertwining.  We raised our  hands above our heads and began forcing each other lower.  I was more than willing to do a re-match on that Test of Strenght.  The Covfefe Captain's mighty legs were unstoppable, so he remained higher.  But my unmatched arms were relentless as they overpowered the Covfefe Leader's grasp.  I moved the arms down, so we were now fighting with the backs of our hands against the front of our quads.  I tightened my  massive arms, and they bulged into two hydraulic lifts, powering the Covfefe Skipper off the ground, forcing his wrists backwards. The Covfefe Chief cried out in agony, as my obviously superior arm-strength raised the Covfefe Head Honcho even higher, in an insane twist on the arm-curl. The peaks of my arms were enormous.   My  teeth were clenched tightly, the blood vessels sticking out of my neck.  I let out a growl  -  GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! My arms were showing no mercy, holding the Covfefe Leader's wrists backwards.  The  giant extraterrestrial was helpless. He writhed and snarled what I assume was Covfefe swear words. It looked like this second test of strength was gonna be won by yours truly. 

We raised our  hands above our heads and began forcing 
each other lower.   The Covfefe Captain's mighty legs were
 unstoppable, so he remained higher.  But my massive arms
 were relentless 

You are weakening, Human.  Are those massive arms of yours 
getting tired of holding my power in check? Is my 390 lbs body
 getting to be too much weight for you?

 But I  began to tire of holding the massive alien, and I  slowly lowered the 390 lbs body so the Covfefe Leader's toes could touch the ground to relieve some of the strain.  As soon as his toes found the ground, the Covfefe Skipper freed himself and kicked me backwards. THUDDDD!! We both fell to the floor again and began fighting for position.

A kick to my knee sends me crashing to the ground

The Covfefe powerhouse goes to work on the knee he kicked, 
trying to cripple me!

I pound the ground and yell in pain as ligament and tendons 
tear and snap like rubber bands in  my knee!

The merciless Covfefean relishes my cries of pain 

I GIVE... I GIVE... I Fuk'n' give!!!-- I shout. 

Give?  Give?? What does this 'Give' mean?  We have no such 
word in Covfefean-- the puzzled Alien asks

I explained the rules of 'Latchkum'  to you already.  There is no 
'give' in  'Latchkum', cowardly Human

I will explain Latchum again, stupid Earthling: Each fighter
will try to fuck his opponent. The first to have an orgasm inside
the other is the winner! But not only do you have to fuck your
opponent, you must make your opponent cum while you’re
fucking him.

We groaned as we struggled.  Finally, I found myself pinned down by  the Covfefe Commander who  hovered above my face, with our  huge arms splayed wide.  He opened his mouth and a slow drop of spit descended from his lips and fell onto my face.  I bucked my hips and tried to wriggle out of the hold, but I couldn't.   He tightened my mighty arms and raised my hands into the air a few inches. My face was  contorted by the effort.  The Covfefe Captain looked shocked by my amazing show of strength   as I began to muscle my way out of the pin.  The Covfefe Chief leaned forward in an attempt to force me down to the floor.  But I didn't give up.  The Covfefe Skipper pushed harder, panting and grunting. Finally, tired from holding the Covfefe Boss in the air,  I relented.  My shoulders dropped back, my hands hitting the floor with a thud.  I panted for a second, my chest and abs heaving for more oxygen enriching air to fuel my muscles.  It wasn't over yet. 

I flexed my legs and tried to force the Covfefe Leader's legs off, but my superhuman quads found themselves helpless against the mighty mass that was now holding them still.  The Covfefe Skipper's legs spread wide grapevining mine and forcing my big legs close together, holding them tight.

"Now it's time for me to show you what kind of puny earthling you really are"  the Covfefe Head Honcho grinned. I winced.  It was  unreal to be at the mercy of this brutal monster.

The Covfefe Captain lowered his face and began to kiss me.  I stopped squirming, as I was momentarily  overcome by the Covfefe Leader's virility.   I laid still as the Covfefe Skipper frenched me.  The Covfefe Chief was enjoying  this attempt to emasculate and humiliate me.  It wasn't helping matters that he smelled like a wet St. Bernard.  Your Mule of course had my usual sweet  fragrance of Old Spice mixed with BenGay.  This stinky  Covfefean needs to make a stop at the Dollar Store for some soap and deorderant on his back to Covfefestan. 

"I am going to fuck you, Earthling," the Covfefe Leader whispered loudly.  " You will soon know the  feeling of my rock hard cock deep up your human ass" 

The mighty Covfefe Leader was once again completely focused on the match.  He wanted this fight to be conclusive, but he also wanted it to be a slow, deliberate contest of sheer strength.    With each exertion he felt his muscled-up opponent fading under his power.  My massively muscular arms and legs struggled against the Covfefe Captain’s muscles.  With all my strength, I pushed against  the alien muscle being, eventually working my way back up to a standing position. Our chests collided, nipples pushing deep into the other’s nipples.  Straining with all my might, I felt my mammoth thighs began to shake and  quiver under the alien's incredible show of raw power. 


Surprisingly  the Covfefe Chief broke his hold.  Once again we  stood facing each other, our eyes locked. I vigorously shook out my numb hands and arms trying to get some feeling back.   the Covfefe Skipper  was gloating over his taking control, and flexed his mighty arms right in my face. "Now who strongest, Earth Man?" he crowed triumphantly.

I glared at this display of pure testosterone bravado.  This ET motherfucker was pissing me off. " If you think for a second that you have  overpowered these cannons of mine you're in for a great disappointing surprise," I said as I flexed my massive guns right back at the  muscle beast from outer space.  

As I crouched into a most muscular pose,  the Covfefe Commander hit me with a surprise attack by slamming his great fist squarely into iron jaw. The blow sent me peddling backwards.  I saw only stars (but these were inside the ship now) as the arena whirled around my head. Woozy from the punch I had to struggle  to  not sink down to the floor on my muscle butt.

Shaking my head to clear it, plowed my fist into the convenient target of  the alien's ample sized nut sack.  The Covfefe Boss’s stunned face flooded over with horrific pain as he   cupped his hands over his bashed balls with a grunt worthy of a silverback gorilla.  

As I approached the muscleman from beyond the stars,  the Covfefe Skipper paid me back by slugging me in the balls. I doubled over, clutching my nut sack with both hands and heaving my guts to the point of almost vomiting. Meanwhile, the Covfefe Captain still clutching his nut sack with one hand, slowly walked off his torment. 

I was still folded almost in half and holding my balls when the Covfefe Leader sneaked up behind me and grabbed one of my  arms to bend it backwards into a half nelson. Using his leverage advantage he forced me up to my feet, turning the half nelson into an arm bar. Still suffering the agony of the ball attack, I groaned out in pain, his face wincing. Holding my twisted arm up high, and with a  great smile of sadistic pride, the Covfefe Head Honcho made me dance about helplessly like a marionette.

 With our heads bent low both muscle gladiators gasped for breath for the next few moments. Gathering up my sagging strength I was the first to move. I bolted forward.   As I was about to slam into my alien opponent,  the Covfefe Chief karate kicked me square in my abdomen, doubling me over. The galactic muscleman caught me around the waist, throwing me up and over his massive shoulder in a backbreaker. For a couple of seconds  the Covfefe Leader held me in place before swaggering around the arena , bouncing me up and down as he racked the small of my back with torturous pain. I let out a howl as my mighty arms and legs flopped about disjointedly. After one complete revolution of the arena,  the Covfefe Captain body slammed me down across his knee in another bone cracking backbreaker. I let out another howl of pain.  Then  he pressed down on my legs and chin, bending me in an excruciating bow. The brutal Covfefe Commander  was now totally in control. He stood up, cradling me in his arms. With great ease he hauled me up high over his head in a gorilla press.  Deliberately heaping some more humiliation on his musclebound rival,  the Covfefe Skipper strutted around the area, pressing me up and down, turning me into a human barbell. Once he had circumnavigated the ring two times,  the Covfefe Leader, with authority, body slammed me to the hard metal floor. I landed with such force that it felt like the whole space ship shook. I made a splat noise like a bug hitting a car windshield. I was dazed like I had been thrown from a horse.


I lay on the floor unable to move just watching the lights spinning on the ceiling above me. The Covfefe Leader had shown me his  power. He had used his mammoth inhuman Covfefean muscles to crush my gigantic musclebound but still human body to smithereens. 

Then, the Covfefe Supreme Leader turned me  over and stood me up.  The Covfefe Warlord's victory boner  was at it fullest.  The Covfefe Bossman grasped me by the shoulders and I began to struggle, but I was exhausted. I had nothing left in the tank.   Quickly, the Covfefe Leader turned me around and forced me into a full-nelson.  He wrapped his mammoth arms under my even more mammoth arms and brought them forward and bent his hands behind my head.  I  moaned in pain, as my huge arms  were forced to spread out straight to his sides.  The two musclemen from different worlds struggled. With my 260 lbs going up against the Covfefe's 390 lbs,  it was a total of  650 lbs of muscle standing there, warring against each other.

"I don't know who is going to enjoy this more, me or you," the Covfefe Captain whispered loudly into my ear.

My  cock began to grow as the Covfefe Leader tightened his iron-lock grip.  The Covfefe Skipper's massive muscles and overpowering strength was impossible for me  to resist.  And my dick was now at its  full nine inches of erection.  I don't know the Covfefe word for the hold, but on earth we call it full-nelson forced anal. I braced myself for the long dicking that I knew was coming. 

The Covfefe Captain's steel-hard, pre-cum-drenched dick began to part my powerful  glutes.  I tightened them, but the Covfefe Leader's rod forced its way between them.  As the Covfefe Top Banana's helmet met my sphincter, I  involuntarily relaxed, his whole muscle packed  body (save my cock) going limp.  Immediately, the Covfefe Supreme's penis plunged deeply up my ass, sending wave after wave of  pleasure throughout both of our bodies.

"Like my superior dick, Earthman?" the Covfefe Leader hissed. "You will find it forks for added pleasure, nothing mundane about our genitals, it can vibrate and spin like the anal probe of a Gray from Arcturus."   He bucked his hips and moved his huge meat up farther.  I  grunted in pain.  The Covfefe Captain moved again, pushing himself higher inside the my guts.  Both of us  moaned.

The Covfefe Leader lifted me off the floor just a bit as he pushed his cock farther up my ass.  My long, thick dick waved high in the air.  It glistened with  precum.  It was as hard  as a nine inch iron pipe The Covfefe Commander maintained the full-nelson grip on me, lifting this musclebound Terran every couple of seconds in order to ratchet himself farther and farther up my ass and deeper and deeper into my guts. He was fucking the shit outta me. I was overwhelmed with pleasure and pain, moaning loudly.

My  huge cock bounced in the air with each flex of the Covfefe Captain's huge body.  As the Covfefe Leader's cock seated itself as far up as possible, the Covfefe Warlord began to ejaculate.  He smiled a terrifying smile and bit his lower lip.  He winced and yelled.  The Covfefe Skipper's orgasm was intense.  He jerked hard, his muscles tightening and forcing my huge arms to flail in the air with each jerking ejaculation.  His warm Alien semen poured into my ass and filling my guts.  About fifteen seconds into the Covfefe Commander's orgasm, my balls began to churn and I began to squirt hard shots of baby batter, my erect cock bouncing with each jerk.

We both jerked in a concert of orgasmic juices as I spewed long, slimy ropes of semen into the air, my fabulously muscular body tightening and relaxing with each ejaculation.  My abs looked surreal as the fully-exposed muscle rippled over and over. I tried to force his arms downward in an attempt to touch himself, but my fucking triceps were so huge that the Covfefe Skipper's bulging biceps kept my hands up too high.  So my dick had to blow my load alone.  I could feel his balls move with each ejaculation as they manufactured more and more sperm.  The Covfefe Captain kept lifting and lowering me as I rode his cock.   Each of us was groaning uncontrollably in a sexual frenzy.  I got to admit, these Covfefe sure knew how to fuck! Where do I sign up to have a baby for one of these dudes?


I began to shoot my load again. After my  climax was fully completed, the Covfefe Leader lowered me so my feet were back on the ground.  He removed his still-stiff cock very slowly from my  ass.  We panted, our glistening  sweat soaked chests and abs heaving for air, as we recovered, with our hands on our knees.

I had lost to the mighty Covfefeian invader.  He had  fucked me, cum inside me, and made me shoot my load while he fucked me,  fulfilling all three requirements of  Latchum to be declared the winner under their rules of combat.

  The Covfefe Leader rose to his feet to stand above me.  His big rippling muscles shine in the overhead lighting as the  gleaming sweat  makes his physique's mighty muscles stand out.  His Covfefean body looked magnificent!  Then tensing every bulging muscle in his body, the Covfefe warrior raised his muscular arms high into the air  and loudly shouted "Latchum!!!" I could hear the word that signified my defeat echoing around the area!

Latchum accomplished, the victorious Covfefean  turned and
 strutted out the arena

I watched with lust at the absolute fucking beauty of the 
Covfefe Leader's naked muscled ass flexing with each step as
 he departed 

Having lost Latchum,  your defeated Mule sat on my ass with cum leaking out of it. I  had lost to the mighty Covfefean invader.  

My men will tend to you now, Human.  I will be back for you
 soon. I will show you more of Covfefean superiority shortly.

Wow, I thought awestruck    The Covfefe Leader fucked me, 
cummed inside me , and made me shoot my load while he  
fucked me!  What a fucking stud...

The Alien commander continued to boast as he left the chamber: "The Covfefe know what is best! It is to crush our enemies, see them driven before us, and hear the lamentation of their sluts!"

This caused me to reflect on my humiliation not only for myself, but for my species, and lust was washed out by outrage at the indignity that had befallen me,  and anger welled up again inside of me!

Goddamn aliens, I hate all goddamn aliens, always wanting to
 shove one thing or another up our fine human buttholes!

"...and so the Covfefe captain whose name I have forgotten, something all weird and alien, took me on a tour of his vessel.  I am a little hazy on the details, the ship had a name, something fierce sounding, full of harsh sounding consonants, but more than that, I just can't recall."

I  was given a tour of the bridge, the engine room, the Plasma weapons bay, the exercise room recall.  I also saw the spartan crew quarters.  The details are pretty hazy,  but what I do remember is that this was no Federation-style vessel, it was more spartan and uncomfortable, more  like a Klingon ship! 

You can enjoy these accommodations, until we can devise more
 sport  to have with you!

Is this all some plot to conquer earth?

Why would we want to conquer your planet, we just plan to
 steal its resources!

Your hot women in particular!

The Covfefe Captain left me, he had other sports to attend to, with MY SLOOT, Linda!

Of all the hot humans I have had, you are my favorite!

I thought all hope was lost sitting in the brig for two days, as unbeknownst to met he Covfefe ship traveled across space and time, far from my home, but I was very surprised when some humans from the future, rescued me!

"Blah blah blah 60 light years from earth blah blah blah blah in the future blah blah" --one of my rescuers  carefully explained my situation as he applied future-tech first aid to my injuries.

"What do you mean I am no longer in my own solar system, or even my own time, what the fuck you talkin' about?"

"Blah blah blah blah blah 25TH CENTURY blah blah blah blah"--these future humans sure were loquacious!

"We have to rescue Linda...on second thought FUCK LINDA, bitch said she didn't consider New Orleans to be a major U.S. city!  Let's just get the hell off this ship A.S.A.P. and let her continue with riding and sucking Covfefe cock. She seems perfectly happy doing that.  And it's something she has an aptitude for. "

"Blah blah blah blah Timeline integrity blah blah Linda blah blah important while you blah blah blah"--the futurenaut droned on.

"What do you mean that Linda is more essential to the integrity of the timeline than I am, what the fuck is THAT supposed to mean? I seen Broccoli with more brains than she's got. You asking for a fat lip Mr. Checkov, or whatever the fuck your name is?! Cuz, you about to get a beatdown from the 21st century, Mr. 'I am so cool cuz I am from the future'!"

I am beamed aboard the Future Human Space Cruiser, the U.S.S. Stalwart.   I am treated in their Sick Bay and then debriefed.

 U.S.S. Stalwart

I  learn that the Covfefe and the Terrans of the future have been at war for a generation.  The Covfefe are losing the war in this time and thus have begun kidnapping human women from the past.  I pull a "Kirk" and become leader of the leader of the expedition to investigate what the Covfefe are up to, based on my natural leadership and charisma, and the maybe based just a tad on the fact that I am the only one who knows the layout of the Covfefe vessel. 

I am Mule, the  commander of this expedition!

Our mission is a critical one, I cannot emphasize this enough,
 the Covfefe are after our sluts!

Men, I can't lie to you, this most likely a suicide mission, but as
 your leader I would like to run this expedition tight, tight
and smart, we stand a better chance if we do this quick
 and clean! We need to dick and dash!

Mule, you are just coming along as a consultant since you know
 the layout of the Covfefe vessel!--chirped the upstart blueshirt
 called Henry mutinously.  I glowered menacingly  at his 
insolence.  Silence minion, I am in command here!
--I countered in decisive James T. Kirk style!

After the away team boards the Covfefe ship, the vessel vanishes from the Stalwart view-screen through a rift in the space-time continuum, the Stalwart follows in pursuit. 

The U.S.S. Stalwart follows in pursuit!

Back in the 21st century, at planet earth!

The Covfefe begin HARVESTING the Hot Terran women!

Hey where did Jeanette go, she just VANISHED!

Malls with high end boutiques have a high concentration of
Human  HB10s spending the money of their Cuck males!

I detect 30 Human sloots meeting our exacting criteria Sir!
Commence Harvesting ensign!

I am here to examine you, to confirm you meet out standards!

Those who do not, will be thrown out  the airlock into space!

What standards?

Sexual gratification for one, can I expect your full co-operation
 in this?

Not that you have any choice in the matter!

It was one, of but many such 'inspections'.

Hey ladies, what's shaking, I know I am only an ensign,
but once you go Covfefe...

MEANWHILE...

The away team enters an auxiliary sensor control room, that Mule had visited on his tour, and they tap into the Covfefe computer.  The team learns of the Covfefe plans, the Meathead aliens, unable to defeat the humans in the 25th century, are planning to destroy the earth in the 21st century.  After the Covfefe  kidnap a number of  Terran HB10s of course!

Hey, I recognize this solar system, this ship is heading back
towards Earth!

Now to tap into the Covfefe database! --I said. 
Do you know what you are doing?-- asked Jake incredulously.
  I watched a Star Trek marathon on television one weekend,
I am good to go.--I replied.   What is Star Trek? --asked Fred.

Can someone get these goddamn Tribbles out of here,
I am trying to WORK here!

Hey that is earth on the schematics, what are these Covfefe
 up to now!

I can't read the words, but the diagrams suggest they plan to
harvest more hot women!

These here look like they plan somehow to cause Earth's core to
 explode with focused plasma cannon weapons!

Hey they can't destroy earth, I live there!! I want to go back!

Attention MEN-IN-BLACK, Attention MEN-IN-BLACK!
 I got a major situation here! Shaddup! I really don't care what 
you actually call yourselves, this is fuckin' important,  the 
Covfefe are planing to destroy earth in MY time! Which means
 no future for you and your I don't know, Federation or 
whatever  scifi organization you future chumps are in!

The away team gets their instructions from Captain Azikiwe of the Stalwart.  "There is no time to go with our earlier plan, we need to split you guys up to stop this ASAP.  Fred, Henry, Jake and Pete, you are to rescue the HB10s. Mule you are to locate the auxiliary weapons control module, and deactivate their Plasma cannons, and their weapons array, that will force them to surrender or flee, then we can launch an attack on the Covfefe homeworld, that Commadore Myiata is organizing, the Covfefe threat to earth WILL END!"

The blue shirt team gets a lock on the human female biosigns, fortunately, they are all concentrated in the main cargo hold of the Covfefe vessel. Despite having a lock on the biosigns of the Human females, the Blue shirts quickly run into trouble!  The cargo hold contains a control room for teleportation, teleport pods, and large areas for storage, it is a vast chamber.

Fuck, there are the HB10s, SHIT, we don't have anything that
hot in OUR century, no wonder the Covfefe wanted them!

By the 25th Century PC had carried to an extreme.  Females were de-sexualized and objectification of them in any way was criminalized, as had porn, because it disrespected women and promoted rape culture. Children were sired in vitro and the zygotes placed in artificial wombs to maturate.  Elites and The few remaining studs managed to find compatible humanoid women to test their virility, but most regular dudes have to get by on orgasmatrons and sex robots.

Orgasmatron

Sex robots

So hot sluts that enjoy and want to have sex are unheard of in their time.  The mere sight of the 21st century HB10s caused millions of years of sexual evolution to be reborn in animalistic lust, and the normally flaccid and impotent Blue shirts, popped boners and were instantly horny!  However the sexy sloots were not unguarded.

Intruders!  Get them!

We have come for the human women, surrender and you will be
 left unharmed! We outnumber you  2:1!

Only 2:1, we like those odds, puny humans!

We, four, on this team, have been bio-cybernetically enhanced,

 we are not as puny as humans you have previously 

encountered!

Save us please!

Should I signal for backup?  --asked Covfefe crewman #1 

No, we can handle these humans, and get the credit for their
 capture! --replied Covfefe crewman #2

The Covfefe are engaged by two of the blueshirts, while the
 other two guard the entrance.

The Blueshirts seize the initiative 

Puny humans, eh?

You still think humans are Puny?

The fight gets intense!

The Covfefe are no pushovers!

TAKE THE 'COVFEFE ELBOW' HUMAN SCUM!

The fight goes back and forth!

Crewman Fred is knocked out cold!

Blueshirt Pete jumps in to take the place of the unconscious 
Fred!

Foolish human, your weak holds can't bind a Covfefe!

Are you sure about that Covfefe?

Oh yeah, I am sure!

These are the controls for the harvesting of the Human women,
I must deactivate program before more are snatched!

Not so fast, Human cocksucker! The harvesting MUST proceed!

A little help here Pete!--demands Jake
I am kind of busy, ask Henry!--replies Pete

My energy weapon is set to stun, if I can get a clear shot,
we can end this quickly!

Henry gets  clear shots with his energy and renders the
Covfefe unconscious.

Now to free the prisoners!

I hope that Mule is having as much success as we are,
he seems kind of sketchy!

We had the hard job, the Captain left the easy job to the 21st
century bozo!

The hot women are grateful, and while they wait for Mule's signal, they have some time to kill...

You saved us! Let us show our gratitude!

This is something we didn't get trained for at the
Space Academy!

Well they did say to honor the customs of cultures we encounter!

I have always wanted to have sex with a spaceman!

and I have always wanted to have sex with a flesh and
blood woman!

That would make you sort of a virgin then spaceman, well that
makes ONE of us!

The regular security scans of the Covfefe detect a number of male human life signs, klaxons sound, waking the Covfefe captain!

(Robotic voice in Covfefean) INTRUDER ALERT, INTRUDER
ALERT, MALE HUMAN BIOSIGNS DETECTED!

Oh fuck!  I was having such great dream about fucking three
 human HB10 sluts!

The Captain checked his scanner, and conforming the intruders were indeed human males, guessed they would be after the harvested human HB10 females!  He ordered added security to the engine room, the bridge and the access ports to the plasma cannons.  "I will take care of the cargo hold, personally" he said over the intercom with a diabolical grin! The Covfefe being MEATHEADS were overly confident!

They are after the hot Terran women! I will kill them!

We are here to protect the integrity of the Time Line, hand over
those Terran women!--demanded Henry

I think not, Human, we can do this the easy way,
or the hard way!

I am the one with the energy weapon, Covfefe!

It is cute, that you think I need an energy weapon, and that
YOU think that with it you have advantage over me!

Hard way it is!

One down, three to go!

Muthafuckah! Leave him alone!--cried Jake

Gladly, I will deal with you, instead!

You humans are slow learners, this is your cue to RUN!

No matter, four prisoners are better than two!  We have medical
 facilities in our brig for all of you!

I give you three seconds to surrender!
 1 Covfefe, 2 Covfefe, 3 Covfefe...!!

We are not leaving without the Terran women!--Fred barked

There is a brief fight with the remaining standing Blue shirts, the Captain knocks them down, but realizes Fred and Pete are tougher than Jake and Henry, and he runs for the cargo loader.

Looks like you have a bit of a CRUSH on me human!
--laughed the Covfefe Captain

Fred is in trouble!!!!

Blueshirt Pete to the Rescue!

You leave  Fred alone, you Covfefe BASTARD!

Pete is hopped up on Adrenaline and Stims!

The Covfefe Captain is gasping for air!

Pete's sleeper hold proves unshakable, and the Covfefe Leader
 is rendered unconscious!

The Covfefe is choked out, the badly battered Blueshirts gather the Terran women and beam out, and this portion of the away team reports directly to Sick Bay!

Meanwhile with Your Mule...

"These future chumps were sure into giving confusing orders that make no friggin' goddamn sense, they sound like a bunch of space lawyers with their jargon, not heroic space adventurers!"--I Thought   " What the hell does get to the auxiliary weapons control module, and deactivate the power flux capacitor to the main weapons array of the Covfefe Plasma Canons, even mean?  And why did they send all of the blue shirts to rescue the captured HB10s and not even leave me with a red shirt, to help with this!"

Those look like the Plasma Cannons, so this must be the
auxiliary weapons control.

I am sure glad I aced that course in Advanced Weaponry at
Star Fleet Academy, oh wait, I am a 21st century sports lawyer,
what the fuck was Captain Azikiwe thinking!

An auxiliary weapons control panel, but how hard could
 advanced and utterly alien  technology be to operate on the 
fly? Damn it Jim, I am a sports lawyer not an intergalactic
 space explorer! At least I didn't get a red shirt!

Klaxons and flashing lights, and shifting alien hieroglyphics lit
 up in what sort of looks like a ...countdown, holy fuck I think I
 accidentally activated the self-destruct sequence for the Covfefe
vessel! Mule to Enterprise...come in, I need a beam out!

"Stalwart to Mule, Stalwart to Mule, please stop calling us the Enterprise, roger....Can you get to the rest of the away team, or do you need a separate beam out, because on reserve power, there will be a delay on a second beam out, roger!"

"If I have the time, this friggin' ship is counting down to self-destruct and everything is in Covfefe, so I don't know how long I have to get to a minimum safe distance!"

"You better get yourself to one of the Covfefe escape pods then, that would be your best chance of survival, good luck Mule you are going to need it! Over and out!"

I manage to get to a Covfefe escape pod, as soon as I entered, it covered me in this insulating and immobilizing gel, which numbed my whole body, so that it was like I was Han Solo in that carbonite shit, except I was in stasis, but conscious.

Locked within a protective, immobilizing gel inside the escape
 pod, I was launched into the abyss of space!

 I guess it was to protect me while I was waiting for rescue out in space.   After this prep, the controls automatically launched my pod out into space, in time to reach minimum safe distance before the ship explodes! Not all the Covfefe were so lucky...the Covfefe Captain regains consciousness in the cargo hold to the sound of klaxons and alert warnings...

All the escape pods have been launched, I must get to a Starsled
 instead!

The Covfefe captain gives chase, closing in on Mule's escape pod on a starsled, firing bursts of phased photon disruptor beams. The extraterrestrial is enveloped in a transparent membrane, formed from a quantum envelope, that gives the alien more flexibility and maneuverability than a conventional space suit while, providing thermal energy and oxygen necessary for life support, through the agency of of one of his many bio-cybernetic implants.  How I know all this is one of those things that are now a bit hazy in the ol' Mule memory banks.

Fortunately I was tied into the pod's controls directly through the gel, and just had to think about sending out a sub-space distress signal, and a communication channel opened. It was like having a little Lt. Uhura in my brain!

"Mule to Enterprise, Mule to Enterprise, my escape pod is under attack, repeat my escape pod is under attack!  Need Help ASAP!  Request Beam Out"

"Stalwart here, Mule, too much plasma interference for a beam out, we are going to pull you into the shuttle bay 4 with a tractor beam!"

"Whatever you are going to do, MAKE IT FUCKIN' FAST!"

In its haste, the Stalwart not only pulled in Mule's escape pod into the shuttle bay, but the Covfefe starsled is drawn towards the ship as well, although the beam cuts off before the sled is drawn in! The outer shuttle bay is collapsible, shuttles are miniatrized for compact storage when not in use.  The Covefefe bides his time waiting for the shuttle bay crew to be distracted bringing the escape pod into inner shuttle bay for my Reambulation in a hyperbaric chamber, but when they start to close the outer shuttle bay (a three stage process)...

The inner shuttle bay!

...the Covfefe skipper makes his move, and before they can initiate the third stage of the contraction process, he enters the partly contracted outer bay on his starsled! This prevents the third stage from getting initialized due to safety protocols.  Before the startled blueshirt technician can sound the alarm, the Covfefe Captain attacks, and a desperate battle in the Outer Shuttle Bay ensues.

The Stalwart is blissfully unaware it has an intruder on board!

The Covfefe Captain engages the shuttle bay technician!

I will destroy you human! Like you humans destroyed my ship!

Should I break your neck, or make you suck vacuum!

They wrestle toward the open shuttle bay, separated from
space by a simple force field!

Time to suck vacuum, human!

Must reach my energy weapon and stun this Covfefe bastard!

No you don't, you human cuck!  Energy weapons are for
pussies, fight like the MALE you are supposed to be!

Hanging out the airlock, the techie climbs back in!

He manages to hit the alert, before he is tackled by the Covfefe commander.

Cheater, trying to tag in for help, they won't arrive in time
to help YOU!

This time there is no escape!

One of the Blue shirtswho was helping me in the hyperbaric chamber in the inner shuttle bay, decompress from the escape pod, rushes into the outer shuttle bay when he hears the alarm!  Rushing in see what is wrong.

Oh damn, we have a Covfefe on the loose on our ship!

I will teach you to pull an energy weapon on ME, HUMAN!

Prepare to die puny one!

I got unarmed combat training at the Space Academy,
Covfefe cocksucker!

Looks like your combat training procedures at the Academy
need a MAJOR OVERHAUL, Human!

'Covfefe Elbow', muthafuckah!

You haven't won YET, you inbred MEATHEAD!

Inbred? Have you looked at the low variation in you 25th
 century humans? We had to go to the 21st century to find
 genetic material that was viable and not so pussified!

..and your pussy genes are why you are losing this fight,
 human cuck!--the Covfefe Captain declared triumphantly
You do realize you are speaking to a human female, you
ignorant Covfefe meathead!--answered the technician with
politically correct umbrage.

Another blue shirt bites the vacuum!

My Reambulation complete, I was thanking the blueshirts helping me, when the alarm sounds. One of the tech leaves, the alarm shuts off shortly after, and it seems all is well, when suddenly my Nemesis, the Covfefe Captain enter the inner shuttle bay,  I am stoked on adrenaline and futuristic chemical compounds by the Reambulation process! So I let the blueshirts know, that I would handle this!

I got this brahs!

I have a score to settle with this anal probing Alien!

Hold my shirt, and have a cold brewski ready for me,
when I am done!

You and me, Covfefe bastard, mano a mano!

You blew up my ship Human, I will make you pay dearly
for that!

 I turned and said "First I need to say Thanks, Covfefe.  You gave me a  pretty good fuck earlier!"

The Covfefe Warlord looked incredulous.  "Pretty good?"  He laughed.  "You Terran cocksucker.  I made you my fucking bitch...I fucked the shit out of you, you can't deny I rocked your world..."

You Terran cocksucker. I made you my fucking bitch!
-- the Covfefe Leader taunted

"Well, I just wanted to thank you for a good ride before I taught you a lesson or two, just in case you don't survive" I smiled.

The Covfefe Captain laughed loudly.  "YOU, teach ME?  Why, I made you my fuck boy!  You're nothing but a little cum dumpster to me!"

I made you my fuck boy the last time we fought,  and I will do it 
again... have your goons release me... or are you afraid to face
 me in single  combat again?

I moved close to the Covfefe Leader.  Very close.  And then  said softly, "Listen you interplanetary meathead, NO ONE fucks me unless I want them to."  as I moved my hand onto the Covfefe Leader's bulging arm and squeezed before continuing...

Listen you interplanetary meathead, NO ONE fucks me unless
 I want them to. 

"Only a handful of people on earth  have ever had the balls to manhandle me like you did.  I needed to know everything you alien mofo's are able to do.  So I wanted to let you give it your best.  I took everything you had to make sure I could.  Unfortunately, for you, I still have yet to meet a Covfefean  who can REALLY overpower me," I said.

The Covfefe Leader pushed my hand down in anger.  "You Earth men infuriate me! We tried to be kind, given you were such a puny insignificant race, we asked you for your women for years, leaving messages in your food supplies, but did you head us? No!"


"Those crop circles, were you?" I muttered, a mystery solved, wait until I tell Jamal about this! He is really into this UFO shit!

"You see! You see! Your Stupid Minds! Stupid! Stupid!"

"You now boast like your puniness ever had a chance against me, the most powerful Covfefe in the sector, ME!  You say these thing after I proved to you how strong and superior we Covfefean are!  You keep talking bullshit like that and I'll just have to break your back, you worthless little piece of Terran shit!"


"All you proved,  you Covfefean Dooshbag," your Mule  continued, "is that you like to fuck muscle."

I proved to you how strong and superior we Covfefean are in the
Arena! You keep talking bullshit like that and I'll break your
back, you worthless little piece of Terran shit!

"All you proved,  you Covfefean Dooshbag, 
is that you like to fuck muscle

"As a Covfefe I am superior to you , genetically. I am 390 lbs of dense muscle fibers, with the gorilla like strength my people need to have evolved on a plant with much stronger  gravity than the Earth. Therefore Covfefe are genetically  superior to you Humans.  Not only do we possess super strength, but our culture values physical prowess above all else!

" Well that whole evolution thing is just a theory. There are plenty of You Tube vids showing its a myth," I replied.

"Youtube, yes the reason we decided to forgo peaceful persuasion and just seized your women, we realized you were total idiots! Endless hours watching cat videos and talking about a Flatearth!"  --The prideful Covfefe snorted,

I ignored the rude and arrogant interruption and continued:

 "But let's just say that you may have a few genetic advantages,"-- I said.  "But genetics aren't everything.  To build a true powerhouse of strength, it also takes a lot of hard work.  And nobody works harder than the Mule!  The problem with being genetically superior, and KNOWING it, is that you get lazy. I see it all the time in the athletes I deal with."

I could see that the Covfefe commander, proud of his regimen and discipline, was absolutely enraged by my insinuation that he was lazy.  His emotions were overcoming him, making him stupid, exactly as I planned.  Hey I needed to be tricky, the guy is from a world 1.5 times the Earth's gravity, don't judge me!


I  moved over to the fuming Covfefe Leader, who was still processing the words I had just spoke. His head was shaking from rage that was rendering him impotent.  I seized the opportunity to  bend down slightly, grabbed the Covfefe Captain's legs and flopped the space  muscleman on the floor.   We began wrestling again, but this time, I got the top mount position.  "If you thought you enjoyed that orgasm before, wait until you see what I have in store for you, alien brah," I growled  as I  held the Covfefe Leader's shoulders down to the floor.  The Covfefe Skipper struggled as we fought for a second.  Then the  Covfefe Warlord brought his mighty legs up and kicked against me, trying to dislodge me from my top mount, but those massive, muscular  Covfefean legs met a wall of power.  My rock hard  torso didn't budge.

"This is not logical!  I am genetically superior to you in every way, and to  any other human,  Mule! What is happening?" the Covfefe Leader babbled as he struggled.

"Logic be damned, you've been KIRKED, Muthafuckah!"  With a snort, I took the Covfefe Leader's left leg and held it tight in both hands.  My powerful grip tightened and the Covfefe Skipper's unreal muscularity began to dent under my strong fingers.  The Covfefe Captain froze in pain.

The future humans watch the fight with interest, picking
up a few pointers!

Hey they didn't teach us THAT at the academy!

Damn I got to get these humans to give some samples
 of those stims that gave me during Reambulation, I am
feeling 10' tall and bulletproof!

That  Mule is pretty darn good!

" Ha! You and your fucking super dense muscle fibers like organic body armor shit....what good are they to you NOW! I could break your leg with a single twist if I wanted," I said through clenched teeth.  My huge arms flexed and  bulged as they held the Covfefe Commander's leg still.  My horseshoe triceps formed a powerful mound of steel hard  muscle, as I adjusted vice like  grip on the Covfefe Head Honcho's leg.  The Covfefe Leader's eyes were wide as he held still in my grasp.

I got you this time  Sad Co-Pepe!--I snarled
That's Covfefe!--the clueless alien grunted, not woke to hip
 Internet lingo!

My muscular python of an arm, gave the alien's bullneck,
 a squeeze!

The Covfefe affected a turn-around,, and slammed me against
 the hard metal floor bouncing me with repeated leveraged slams!

Take notes--this is how I break your leaders wrist. Listen for
 the bone to snap and his scream of pain when it does.  YOUR
 destruction will be next!

Your defeat is inevitable Mule, I am far stronger than
 you!  I will pull your arm off and use it to beat you...Beg me for 
mercy in front of your men...beg loud enough for all to hear.

Stay back and don't interfere! --I shouted to the blueshirts
through teeth clinched in pain. This is just a temporary set
back! --I snarled with bravado

 The Covfefe used his vice like grip to twist and turn my
 wrist further than it was meant to go. I struggled but his
 grip was unbreakable.  I felt the ligaments and tendons
 stretch and stretch until they finally exceeded their limit
 and began to break and snap like rubber bands.

SNAPPPPP!The gloating Covfefe sensed imminent victory as he felt my wrist break in his mighty grip. I wasn't able to keep in a cry of pain as it broke. My left wrist and hand wasnow useless and throbbing in pain

I successfully accomplished the turnover I had been planning
despite my broken wrist. I had to concentrate and fight
through my injury. I could not let the blueshirts down!

I released the Covfefe Leader's leg.  The muscle was bright green where my hand print had bruised the skin. Green bruises?  Cool! For a moment, the Covfefe Boss struggled again, but I quickly locked the Covfefean's arms behind his back and whipped him over onto his stomach.  I was tossing this 390 lbs of  steel-hard muscle around like he was a ragdoll. I manipulated  the Covfefe Captain's hands and placed them behind his butt. Then I  picked the Covfefe Skipper up by the wrists, nearly ripping  his shoulders out of their  sockets.  The Covfefe Leader made a  loud noise, sort of like a sheep, which I assume was a Covfefean cry of pain. 

My legs seemed to grow to meet the challenge of walking the Covfefe Commander's hulkish body  around the shuttle bay.  When we reached some sort of work bench table, I tossed the Covfefe Leader onto it, then quickly turned the Covfefe Captain over onto his back.  The Covfefe Warlord let out another of those strange wails  from the pain as his shoulders recovered from the stress.

The Covfefe Leader pushed me away with his legs.  I immediately jumped onto the table and pounded the Covfefe Captain's muscled abs with my  powerful arm, with a loud cracking noise like a tree limb breaking telling me  my fist had broken a couple of the Covfefe Skipper's left ribs.  The Covfefe Leader opened his mouth and gasped as his rib cage caved in and  the air was knocked out of his lungs.  I jumped off the table and moved my face next to the Covfefe Captain's.

"Now, you mofo from outer space," I smiled.  "You need to remain very still.  If you don't, I'll break a few of your right  ribs with the next punch."

I  moved to the foot of the table and pulled the Covfefe Leader so that his muscled  butt hung over the edge.  "Yes," I smiled.  "Just the right level for fucking."  The Covfefe Kingpin raised his legs again and tried to kick your Mule away.  With lighting reflexes, my massive arms met the Covfefe Commader's legs in midair.  The four limbs froze in a muscle battle.  The Covfefe Leader's legs rippled with power.  Your Mule's huge arms bulged with strength.  I was  moved back just a bit as the Covfefe Captain's power prevailed.  My face squirmed.  I pushed out a huge breath, then inhaled again.  I  began to straighten his arms, and the Covfefe Skipper's leg's moved back!  My arms were overpowering the Covfefe Leader's legs!

The two men struggled for long minutes.  Finally, your Mule squeezed the Covfefe Bossman's legs up farther...and farther; ultimately shoving the Covfefe Warlord's quads up against his torso.  The Covfefe Chief somehow found new strength and he snapped his legs up, straightening them quickly, forcing  your Mule to  be thrown off the Covfefe Captain's legs and landing hard on the floor.  The Covfefe Leader stood up. As he did, your Mule jumped up and landed a HARD blow against the Covfefe Skipper's torso.  A loud CRACKing sound was immediately followed by the Covfefe Leader falling to the ground.  The Covfefe Chieftain's sternum had cracked.

I picked the Covfefe Leader up and placed him back on the fucking table, his legs spread wide and into the air.  The Covfefe Captain could barely breathe do to his broken ribs and cracked sternum .  As if I were changing a baby's diapers, your Mule easily spread the Covfefe Skipper's legs apart farther, exposing the alien's asshole.

Your Mule held onto the Covfefe Leader's thick calves and moved his dick so that it brushed the Covfefe Captain's sphincter.  Quickly, my cock  began to grow.  Within a minute, your Mule was bending and straightening the Covfefean's legs, erotically rubbing his long cock across the Covfefe Commander's asshole.  The Covfefe Skipper moaned.  The  large helmet of my cock glistened with precum.  I nudged the Covfefe Leader's balls with it.  The Covfefe Chief began to sprout an erection.

"Fuck,"  your Mule whispered.  "You are the HOTTEST Alien I have ever met.  I'm going to enjoy this very much."

Soon,  we were both erect.  My iron-hard rod was beginning to pry the Covfefe Leader's asshole open.  The Covfefe Captain's legs flexed against my arms, and we  struggled with each other  as I forced his way in.  I closed my eyes and groaned with pleasure.  I enjoyed the sensation of penetrating the Covfefe Commander so much, that I pulled all the way out and slowly did it again.  And again. And again.  Each time, the Covfefe Skipper's legs rippled with muscular force, trying to prevent the insertion.  And each time, my  powerful arms rippled with their own muscular force,  successfully keeping  the legs splayed wide.

Finally, your  Mule shoved all the way up.  Then I held it still.  The Covfefe Leader bucked his hips to try to squirm away, but this just gave me a better ride.  Your Mule's huge member stirred the Covfefe Captain's rectum, pleasuring him like he had never been pleasured.  the Covfefe Leader's cock dripped with precum.  Your Mule's whole muscular body was flexing and bulging.  My rippling body looked like he was on the brink of a huge orgasm.

But I resisted, moving my muscular cock around inside the Covfefe Captain, tormenting the Covfefe with fucking pleasure. I  began to squeeze and rub the Covfefe Skipper's huge genitals.  My strong,  muscular fingers kneaded the Covfefe Leader's nuts, rolling them around in his nutbag.  The Covfefe Boss's cock was a massive roll of solid meat. Your Mule lightly held it and  pushed downward on it.  The helmet swelled as precum squirted out.  The Covfefe Leader moaned, and then I did it again.  Your Mule pulled his cock out of the Covfefe Captain's ass and bent over.  My long tongue began to lick the Covfefe's cock like it was a lollipop. The Covfefe Sipper moaned for more.  I slowly began to leak and suck on the Covfefe Leader's large cock helmet.

The Covfefe Captain closed his eyes.  Slowly, your Mule inserted the over-sized meat pole into my mouth I  soon had his mouth full of Covfefe cock, and I sucked , while squeezing the Covfefe Skipper's fully packed goose egg sized balls with my fingers.  My other hand moved onto the Covfefe's thickly muscled torso torso and up onto the Covfefe Leader's huge beefy chest.  I began to fondle the Covfefe Captain's thick, hard  nipples and giant pecs while I sucked his cock.

Finally, I stood up and slowly, painfully reinserted my cock inside the Covfefe's waiting ass.  I shoved it up HARD  and the Covfefe Captain winced. I  placed my hand on the Covfefe Leader's cock  and began masturbating him. The Covfefe Skipper moaned and groaned, turning his head from side to side as I continue to jerk him off.

Within minutes, the Covfefe Leader's huge cock began to shoot huge streams of cum into the air and onto his face and chest.  He wailed with pleasure and pain, his broken ribs  and fractured sternum rubbing with each violent jerk.  Moments later, the Covfefean began to ejaculate.  His muscles  bulged, flexed and rippled as I continued to  violently pound my cock tightly inside the Covfefe Captain's ass, depositing my baby juice deep inside.
"Fuuuuckin' Shiiiiiit!" I hollered.  I  humped hard, ramming myself up the Covfefe Leader.  My own massive muscles bulged and flexed as my body rippled with striated muscles.

 "Latchkum!" I shouted, having completed the trifecta required by the Covfefean ritual,  

Looks like he's still alive.  Man these tough Covfefe sons-of-
bishes are hard to kill!

I guess I should throw the Covfefe Leader out the airlock now,
I thought.

But no way I can carry his 390 lbs ass with only one good hand.
And these future-boys in blue are too goody two-shoes PC to
lend a hand in dumping him out the airlock!

We can use the loader to get him to the transport module to 
beam him to the brig med-lab, one of the blueshirts suggested

Damn he is leaking Mule jizz out his ass on to my loader!

I  still wanted to dump him out the airlock, so I  checked with
 command just to be sure. Yeah, you were right, we can't throw 
him out the airlock because of reasons. Take him to the medical 
lab in the brig, make sure he is  put in heavy restraints!

His body will recover, but I doubt his ego ever will!

The blueshirts cleaned up the wreckage of the Covfefe Captain .The Covfefe Captain was confined to the brig with the other prisoners.

Your's truly was fixed up in Sick Bay. Thanks to 25th century technology my broken wrist. was healed up in 10 minutes and not 3 months. They had this cute little R2D2  like med-droid that I nicknamed  RoboMcCoy.  It was proficient in 6 million forms of medical procedures and programmed to treat 9,732 different species.  Still the dingbat AI almost had a meltdown, when I said my name was Mule, and it kept bringing up its equine databases, and got flustered when they weren't matching the scans which said HUMAN.  

Robo-McCoy

The droid injected me with awesome painkillers, and also some tiny machines called Mennonites or maybe nano-mites  or Microdots, or Minibots or something, hard to remember now, plus I was loopy with drugs at the time.  I sure wished we had those back at Duke, when I tore my ACL playing football! 

At last it was time for my departure, and the blueshirts had lined up to see me off.

Your Mule FINALLY gets the respect from the Stalwart crew that I deserve!

We are proud to serve with you Mule!

You mean, proud to serve UNDER me, Mule, SIR!

The Covfefe defeated, I can savor my triumph!

I saved earth and the future of humankind!  Not bad in a day's
 work, although Captain Azikiwe says I won't be allowed to
remember any of this!

The future Humans returned me and the HB10s to our proper time and place, wiping our memory for the sake of Time Line integrity.  I was the last to be neuralized, as the crew all wanted to say their goodbyes to the hero of the hour, but the Neuralizer of the Temporal Reintegration Tech must have been running low on juice, as it failed to blot out all of my memories, but as you can see by the choppy and incomplete narrative, that I remain hazy on certain details.  

So don't ask me questions, especially about all the time paradox stuff, because I don't recall any of the scientific explanations by the Future Men for any of the techie stuff, and probably only half-listened to any of the explanations they might have given me.  Damn it readers, I'm a sports lawyer not a temporal scientist or an astronaut from the future!  Just KNOW THE STORY IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE, AND RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!

Now mum's the word on this, don't be telling anyone what I told you, don't want to be messing with the Time Line do we? ...Speaking of which, last I heard of Linda, she was engaged to some Congressman, the stupid timeline hogging whore!

The end?