Same Fungiphage from A Different Shrooms Girl, different day!
WELL IT LOOKS LIKE I GOT ROOKED INTO ANOTHER ADVENTURE WITH SHROOMS GIRL! SHE WANTED TO SEE THE SUPERMOON, BUT FOR SOME FUCKIN' REASON WE HAD TO DRIVE TO FT. COLLINS TO SEE IT, BECAUSE BOULDER WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH, CUZ REASONS, DON'T ASK ME, I AM ONLY THE DRIVER!
So I googled the shit out if it, so I could sound clever and throw out terms like apigee, perigee, luminosity, and such chit, as I knew shit about astronomy. Chicks dig guys who know shit like that!
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| Check out the 30% increase in my luminosity! |
ME to SHROOMS GIRL:
[Thanks Space.com!]
But with google at my fingertips, who has the time to learn this chit for realz!
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| I had this chit ALL figured out! |
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| I'm an instant astronomer, bring on that SUPERMOON! |
Now I get that the moonrise is a little to the north of due east, but Ft. Collins is very, very much NORTH and very, very little EAST of Boulder, so I am still cranky about going there as I drive.
Ft. Collins is a college town like Boulder, and as a result is a blend of the trendy, tree-hugging atmosphere of Old Town and around the campus of Colorado State, with the last vestiges of the red-neck cow town it used to be. This gives its overall politics a purplish hue, but a bit heavy on the fruity pebbles, although not quite as much as Boulder, the most liberal city in Colorado.
But if we needed to go more Easterly, I would think the better target would be Greeley! But heck, that is just me.
Anyway we are driving there, dealing with traffic and shit, with crazy soccer Mom's in giant S.U.V.s that they can barely see over the steering wheel, heck all you see are two tiny hands at 10 and 3, come zipping into traffic without heed nor care, causing me to break to keep from plowing into them! It was as big a mistake letting women drive as it was to let them vote! The bishes be CRAZY!
Speaking of CRAZY BISHES... Shrooms girl and I were arguing the whole way ... she wanted me to keep the moon in front of us so she could see it , while still insisting I drove North to Ft Collins 'cuz of clouds or lights or whatever.... I felt like I needed to get an orange and a tennis ball and try to educate her in what she apparently missed learning in Grade 5! All I could think the whole trip was I really better get some anal from this chick pretty soon or I'm REALLY gonna be pissed!
O.k. we get to Ft. Collins and we rendezvous with some friends of hers. (AHA! The plot sickens, now we knows why she is all hot set on going all the way out here!) One of these "friends" of hers. who is some grad student at C.S.U. has a telescope set up out in the boondocksies, for us to gaze up at the Moon with, and some have binocs and shit. I came prepared with beef jerky, to chew on and jawzercise and cover the fact that I was grinding my teeth in anger and frustration. Anyway I am also giving the stink-eye to TELESCOPE BOY, as I am already getting the vibe that this is an ex-boyfriend, who is not all that long ex, and maybe he thinking not so much ex!
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| That SLOOT is MINE, Telescope Boy! |
Then after we viewed the Moon which was looking very Moony... and not all that super....
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| Sure does look...um...MOONY... |
Telescope boy suggested we all go back to his place...
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| We really got to get back, I have work tomorrow! --I grumbled in an effort to get out of this. |
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| Please Mule, Pah-leeeeeeez, you OWE me! |
"We can stay, a little while longer, can't we Mule? You owe me after I fixed you that nice, home-cooked meal on Friday..."--Shroom girl pleaded.
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| Fuck you bitch and that shit you called dinner --I thought! |
Now Telescope Boy was about my height, and I am guessing about 220 to my 260 lbs. He appeared to work out and be athletic, but I am pretty sure I could take him!
I surmised he was probably one of those brainy nerds who took up lifting weights 'cuz he had been bullied all his school life by jocks!
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| Transformation loading.... |
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| Telescope Boy Today! |
I planned to make it ONE more.
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| I did a yawn and stretch, feigning being tired while actually giving a muscular display to intimidate my rival. |
Telescope Boy being another alpha male, got my meaning sure enough and we did some mean-mugging squaring off with posturing and subtle flexing that Shrooms girl was completely oblivious to.
When everybody else is distracted, Your Mule gives Telescope Boy a quick and hard punch to the gut,followed followed by a Rock Bottom and a People's Elbow sending him down to the dirt, knocking the wind out of him, and part of his last meal. You might say: 🎵 I decked the nerd with fists of fury, fa-la-la-la, la-la-la! 🎵
"I think your friend is sick, he is vomiting all over the field, we better all let him go home and recover, who is up for some Krazy Karl's?"
Everybody raised their hands except Telescope Boy who was still vomiting on the ground. Some would say he was MOONSTRUCK, but we know the secret that he was MULESTRUCK!
But heck Telescope Boy wasn't gonna to rat me out and concede he, an alpha wannabe, was felled by one punch!
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| We had a blast at Krazy Karl's, such a shame Telescope Boy couldn't join us! |
So that is how Your Mule once again emerged triumphant out of a Shroom Girl generated catastrophe. Now some of you might call Your Mule a bully for his treatment of Telescope Boy, but:
1: I was provoked and had legitimate grievance against him
2: One more bullying by a Jock was to sure to motivate Telescope Boy in the gym, so my decking him was a really actually a kindness.
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| Shrooms Girl was far less impressed with Telescope Boy when he was flat on the ground, spewing chunks! |
So y'all now see Your Mule was A HERO in this situation, and not A HEEL!
Plus:
Mule wins AGAIN!
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| Mushroom girl is gonna give this Muscular Fun-guy some BJ action as his re-ward! |
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| I was getting excited by the prospect on the way home! |
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| Work it Shrooms girl, work it! |
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