Amusings from Valhalla: My Jokester Side Strikes Again!

I miss those days!

I like to enjoy a HEARTY American breakfast!

Blogging is hard!

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT ME!


SOME JOKES OUT OF IRAN, THEY GOT SOME FUNNY FOLKS THERE!


A man from Shiraz was making love to his wife. She had not removed her pubic hair, as was the custom, and it was too long. He got annoyed and said, "This is all right with me since I am your husband and intimate with you, but you should really be ashamed if a stranger finds you like this."

Rashti women told her husband, “When you are not here our Qazvini neighbor comes and does me!” The husband said, “Let it go! He is crazy, when you are not here he does me too.”

Oh, my my!

Once a Tork got married. On the second night of his marriage he kills his new wife. People asked him, “Why did you kill your wife?” He said, “I realized she was not a virgin.” They asked, “Then why did you kill her on the second night instead of the first night?” He said, “Because on the first night she was a virgin.” 

One day Ghazanfar asked someone, “What time is it?” The person said, “It is 3:30.” Ghazanfar said, “I am going crazy! From the morning until now everyone is saying something different.”

ISIS clocks run BACKWARDS!

A man claimed to be God. They took him to the caliph, who told him, “Last year, a man was here claiming to be a prophet, and we had him killed.” The man said, “You did the right thing, because I had not sent him.”

There is no God, but Alvin? 
That doesn't seem right,
OFF WITH HIS HEAD!

According to Ayatollah Khamenei, everyone should say a prayer before drinking water water, since in water reside three Jens (Djinns) Two Hydro Jens, and one Oxy Jen! 

It's basic chemistry yo!

An Englishman, An American and an Iranian died and went all to hell. The Englishman said: "I miss England. I wanna call England and see how everybody is doing there"....he called and talked for about 5 minutes...then he said: "Well, Devil, how much do I owe you????" the Devil thinks for a moment and says: "Five thousand pounds", "Five thousand pounds!! Rather steep, ol' bean, but very well!!!" With a stiff upper lip, he wrote the devil a cheque  and went to sit back on his chair....

The American was so jealous; He screams: "Me too; I wanna call the United States; I wanna see how everybody is doing too..." He called and talked for about 2 minutes; then he said: "Well, Devil how much do I owe you????" the Devil makes a quick calculation: " $25,000"   The American frowns at the expense, but shrugs and says: "You, can't take it with you!" and hands him a credit card, collects his receipt and went to sit back on his chair.....

The Iranian felt left out, and demanded he get to use the phone too.  "I wanna call Iran too, I wanna see how everybody is doing there too, I wanna talk to my cousins, to the mullahs, I wanna talk to everybody....." He called Iran and he talked for about twenty hours. He was talking and talking and talking....then he said at long last: "Well, Devil how much do I owe you????"  the Devil makes a quick calculation and say: "35, 236 Iranian rials." (About one dollar), the Iranian is delighted by the news of such a bargain, he talked the longest by far and paid the least amount.  He just had to ask the Devil why the call was so cheap!  The Devil smiles and replies: "Well, from hell it's a local call."

An American and an Iranian board a plane to LAX.  Iranian sits next to American.  American asks: "What kind of 'ian' are you?"
- "What?" replied the puzzled Iranian.
- "I said What kind of  'ian' are you?"
- "I don't understand your question."
- "Stupid! Are you Armenian, Indian or Iranian?"
- "Oh! I am Iranian."
Time passes without a word between them.  Finally, the Iranian asks: "What kind of  'key' are you?"
- "What?"
- "Are you a monkey, donkey, or a Yankee?"

YES A STORY IS IN THE WORKS, YOUR MULE HAS BEEN BUSY WRITING! 

THIS AMUSINGS IS JUST TO TIDE YOU FOLKS OVER UNTIL THE STORY IS DONE, IT WILL BE OUT SOON, DON'T PANIC!