Mulezan Save The Queen

STORY BY MULE, EDITS BY STEFAN, SKETCH DRAWINGS FROM LOBO JORGE'S FACEBOOK FROM VARIOUS STORIES ON THE INTERWEB, COLOR ART FROM THE WEB, PICS LABELED "DO NOT REPOST" AND/OR WITH HIS COPYRIGHT, ARE BY THE GREAT JUNGLE KING KAZAR, SO DO NOT REPOST ANY OF THOSE!

Western Union Telegram
***Urgent Message***

To: Mulezan
      The Belgian Congo
       
From:  T. Roosevelt
     The White House USA 
            

       HELP US, MULEZAN!  ~stop~ 

       YOU ARE OUR ONLY HOPE! ~stop~  

~More to Follow!~stop~ 

    s/   YOUR FRIEND,  TEDDY

****************************************************

The message went out by telegraph to Boma, capital of the Congo Free State, and then out by runner and native drums until it reached Mulezan...

Mulezan listens to the drums... "Oh, no! The brother of Mulezan's old enemy, the Evil Hunter, has kidnapped the Queen of England! Wait, England has a Queen? I wonder if she is hot..."

Here is where we usually bore half our readers with the details
about how Mulezan discovers where the  Old Queen is being
 held hostage.

Mulezan to the Rescue!

AIIIIIIYEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

Unhand her, you filthy commoner cad!

Mulezan frees Her Majesty!

The grateful Queen shows uncharacteristic emotion!

Wait! What is this?! A syringe!

The Queen injects something into Mulezan's muscular ass
and I don't think it's steroids!

As Mulezan recoils in shock the Monarch grabs the Lord of the Jungle in a grip worthy of the legendary English strongman Thomas Topham. What poor Mulezan didn't know was the telegram was a hoax, and Queen Victoria had been dead for 8 months...Mulezan never kept up much with current events outside his jungle.

With a grunt Her Majesty lifted Mulezan up in

 a tight bearhug!

Mulezan grunted as the air was forced from his lungs! Pain flares from the Jungle Lord's obliques and lats as they cave-in from the vice-like crush of the "Royal"  bearhug!

You see who you’re dealing with now, pussy? 

The imposter crowed as he pulled off his disguise!

Mulezan is jumped by Evil Hunter 2.0 from behind.  Now it is

 two against one. The Jungle King fights valiantly against the

 two powerful men.

The false "Queen" is none other than Mulezan's old enemy, Major De Paard!  "Wait," thinks Mulezan, "Didn't the Evil Hunter kill him in Part VI? Clearly some of those drum BREAKING NEWS messages were FAKE NEWS!  Well the native drummers often pick up on a lot of the jungle gossip spread by the monkeys, and sometimes those monkeys tell tall tales!"  



Mulezan fights valiantly, angry at all the tricks and subtufuge, and begins to get the upper hand against his old nemesis.  Suddenly, the Lord of the Jungle is jumped from behind by Evil Hunter 2.0, brother of his greatest nemesis, The Evil Hunter! The Major steps back and lets the big boys rumble.

Rumble in the Jungle!

You're no match against my strength and skills,
Jungle Bitch! 

Hunter rams Mulezan head first into the nearest big tree.
Your in trouble, handsome!
Didn't think I was this strong did you?

An American Football style tackle by the Hunter
as he buries his shoulder into Mulezan midsection
and  drives Mulezan backwards into a tree. 

Mulezan's eyes bulged as the Hunter drives a shoulder deep 
into the Jungle Lord's muscled midsection.
 Mulezan's abs of steel caved in like a wrecked car as the 
Hunter pulverized his gut!

Damn you Belgian Waffle, you are as bad as your brother!
Had enough Monkey-Man?  Well too bad, I am just getting
 started!

Having fun yet,  Banana boy?

Major De Paard watched in rapt excitement, as the Hunter's hands slid down the apeman’s back,  almost to his waist. And then they closed. The European strongman's arms tightened into a ring of iron around the apeman. The boulder-like muscles in his shoulders bulged. With a grunt of effort, he locked Mulezan in a bear hug. A muscular band of iron constricted around the apeman. He crushed Mulezan’s chest into his own in a vise-like grip. The Ape-man was feeling the effects of whatever he had been injected with, and with clouded vision and failing strength he was unable to resist the bearhug as he normally would. Still combat had caused his body to be flooded by powerful masculine hormones, which kept the drug from taking full effect.

Major De Paard saw the muscles in the Hunter's thick arms tighten, turn to steel as he squeezed Mulezan into his chest. The Major gasped with excitement. He heard the Jungleman’s moan of pain as the air in his chest was crushed out of him.

The Hunter wrapped his enormous arms around the Apeman's massive torso, grabbed his right wrist with his left hand against the small of the other man's back and squeezed in a devastating bearhug! ARGH! As he applied tremendous pressure against his opponent's back, he lifted him off the ground. Arms wrapped around Mulezan like a constricting python, enveloping and crushing  the Jungle Hero. The Hunter's heaving muscle and immense power cuts Mulezan in half, crushing his ribs and curving his back.  The Ape-man was in agony, yet he continued to struggle as the Hunter squeezed the life out of him.

The Hunter locked on a devastating bearhug!

The Hunter locked on a devastating bearhug!

ARGH! The Hunter forced a groan from Mulezan as he slowly began to squeeze the life out of him!  The Hunter was too strong for Mulezan to break the agonizing hold!

“Yeah, how’s that feel, Ape Man? Ya ever been crushed before? I’m like a python and I’m gonna crush ya to death!” Mulezan could not respond, but he lifted his hands and pushed back on the Hunter’s broad chest, trying to extricate himself from this agonizing hold. It was in vain. He was locked in a crushing squeeze that was breakable. The Hunter's massive arms were too strong! The drugged Mulezan could not pull off one of the come back maneuvers for which he was legendary.

Major DePaard marvels at the sight of the two Herculean wrestlers, observing with a grin the suffering of Mulezan locked in a convulsing bear hug. Even drugged the jungle lord remained a formidable opponent. The two sweaty, ferocious titans, their muscular bodies glued together, were grunting like wild boars. Mulezan, at least in his drugged state, had met his match. Mulezan could not escape the crushing bearhug. Even drugged, Mulezan's legendary strength was enough to defeat most men, but against a formidable opponent like the Evil Hunter Remix, he was failing to break free. Would the Major actually see the Mighty Mulezan's humiliating defeat? The Major felt pure exhilaration at the possibility! That he had to cheat to accomplish this, was not factored in his exultation.

“I’m really glad you won’t give, Mulezan,” the Hunter panted, “Come on muscle boy, if we’re gonna do this let’s do it properly. I’ve decided this match can only be won by knock out. Doesn’t that sound fun, muscle head? You and me, 1-on-1. We settle this the man's way. Loser kneels and sucks the winner's dick ”

Mulezan could only moan and grunt in response, his back hurting more than he’d thought possible, and his head still woozy from the drugs still battling against his adrenaline and testosterone.

With that, the Hunter opened his arms, releasing his bearhug and let his opponent go. Mulezan stumbled back, coughing hard, his massive chest muscles heaved up and down with each breath, struggling to fill his powerful lungs, unable to decide if the pain in his back or ribs was worse. At least he was able to breathe again. But the Hunter had dominated him so far.

Come on muscle boy. You and me, 1-on-1.
Round two, bitch! This round we beat the shit 
out of each other with our fists! And the fight's
 not over until one of us is knocked out cold!

Hunter grinned wickedly in reply and said, "Yes, you are a tough motherfucker, but I fucking totally owned you. And it seems like you got turned on being dominated and over-powered. I can see you are just as excited and boned up as I am. But now it is time to end this! Round two, bitch! Now I get to beat the shit out of you with my fists!"  He was gloating pretty vaingloriously for such a cheater.

The Hunter, villain that he was, is wearing brass knuckles on his right fist. Mulezan had never seen brass knuckles before, and didn't comprehend just how much brass knuckles intensified a mighty punch. Having those brass knucks on are gonna give the  cheating Hunter  yet another huge and unfair advantage in this fist fight. A man armed with brass knuckles could easily knock out a man even Mulezan's size with one punch, if he lands it right. 

Major DePaad silently watched the two musclegods squaring up to each other for the exchange of fistacuffs. Both of the giant musclemen were exceptionally well built, of about the same height and weight. The Major was mesmerized by the Hunter’s total dominance of the apeman. The European powerhouse was in no hurry to finish Mulezan off. And the Major was relishing every brutal move against Mulezan, enjoying every moment of the apeman’s total defeat. Since he had faked his death, the Major had diversified into illegal slaving, mining and other criminal enterprises with the Evil Hunter Remix, that had enriched him greatly, but the Jungle Champion had interfered with a number of enterprises he was behind, costing him a fortune in lost revenue, the Jungle Man had to PAY for this, and since Banana Man hadn't a franc to his name, the restitution would have to take a very different form.

The jungle man's chiseled body was glistening with a slight sheen of perspiration that highlighted every ridge and mound of muscle. Mulezan's huge chest, with massive bulging pecs, tapered to cut abs that looked like a brick wall. His beefy pecs bulged and relaxed as he breathed deeply, his nipples erect with excitement and anticipation . His muscular thighs and buttocks were moulded into his famous loincloth, the tight cut emphasised his large, bulging crotch. His huge legs, thick and defined were as thick as some men's waists.

His European opponent was a spectacular muscleman whose physical development was  the equal of his African opponent. The Hunter was also stripped to just a loincloth. Every bit as strongly muscled as Mulezan, with a muscled ladened fighter's body that that could take every blow, and big rounded shoulders that could swing his knuckle duster enhanced fists like a club. Every sinew and muscle more than a match for the inhibited Mulezan, heck even at the jungle lord's best, he would have proved a formidable adversary.

Both musclemen now flexed facing each other, flexing their massive bulging his pecs in challenge.peaking their biceps, ridging their abs, flexing muscle glutes of steel, flaring their lats. The pouches of their loincloths bulged and their jutting nipples were erect. 

The Major's cock was rock solid and beginning to drip. Major DePaard knew that no matter how strong Mulezan was, he didn't have the boxing skills and experience the Hunter had. The Hunter would have the advantage in a stand up and bang each style prizefight.

"Let's get this over with, stud," Hunter said. With that, the two stimulated muscle giants raised their fists and began to warily walk around each other in slow-motion, sizing up each other's powerful physique. There was total silence as they cautiously, but confidently, circled each other. Due to their closeness, Mulezan's heighten senses could take in the intoxicating aroma of aroused male sexuality and warrior testosterone. 

Hunter raised his fists and at the same time, Mulezan raised his fists to guard. The Hunter danced around the Jungle Hero like the champion boxer he had been in Europe, his muscular pecs bouncing in time and his huge rock-hard cock threatening to break through his loincloth.

CRACK! The Hunter landed the first blow!
Mulezan’s head snapped back as the iron fist landed
 squarely across his jaw

CRACK! The Hunter landed his first blow against the  jungle man.  Mulezan’s head snapped back as the iron fist landed squarely on the side of his face. The Ape-man's gorilla tough head is knocked back from the force of the Hunter's right cross! If it hadn't been for his thick neck, the blow would have knocked Mulezan's head right off his shoulders. The Hunter had one hell of a punch. The Jungle King was lucky to even be conscious! One of the Hunter's punches could put down almost any man, even without the knuckle dusters!

The Hunter landed a devastating punch into Mulezan's bulging crotch. ARGH!   The Jungle Protector bellowed like a bull being castrated. His muscular physique quaked and quivered from the incredible force of the low blow to his nuts. The Hunter spread his arms, fanning out his own barn door wide lats. “How’s that feel, eh, jungle man? How did you like being punched in the balls," He asked with an evil grin. Mulezan's hands remained over his throbbing, despoiled loins, as protection.

ARGH!The Hunter landed a devastating low blow to Mulezan's balls!

Mulezan, his anger and pain pouring adrenaline and progesterone into his battered body, charged forth, fists swinging wildly. The Hunter, however, was ready. He ducked under the charge, firing a hard fist into the Ape-man's ripped stomach. The fist bounced off without even phasing the ape-man as the Hunter moved behind him. Mulezan spun to face the Hunter. CRACK! A hard fist struck the Jungler's jaw, sending him stumbling backwards. 

"Fuck Yea!", the Major cheered silently as the Hunter manhandled the Jungle Hero. "Knock that muscle bitch Mulezan out, make him hurt! Wow, the Hunter is actually doing it! He's beating the shit out of that arrogant prick, Mulezan. Damn, I can't believe I am really seeing this. I never thought I would see that big Apeman be manhandled and dominated like this! This Hunter is the real deal!"

The Hunter put all his weight into a pulverizing blow to Mulezan's abs of steel!

The Hunter charged in, stabbing Mulezan's abs with another combination of punches as the ape-man reached for his jaw. Again, the jungle man's brick-like ab muscles held, with the Hunter's punches bouncing off harmlessly. WHOOSH! The Jungle Champion's retaliating punch sailed past the Hunter's face. 

The Hunter backed up as Mulezan swung recklessly, trying to connect with a knockout punch. Quickly the Hunter backed right out of the ape-man's reach. The hunter bounced back and forth, staying light on his feet, fists raised. The Congo Champion was playing right into his hands. The Hunter knew that he was a better fighter than the ape-man, who was used to wrestling and tests of strength. The Hunter knew that a skilled striker could win against a strong wrestler. 

As the Ape-lord drew near, the Hunter feinted with a couple of blows at the ape-man's head once again. Mulezan avoided the blows, but the Hunter had only been moving him into position. WHUMP! The Hunter put all his weight and strength into a pulverizing, brass knuckle enhanced, cannon-shot blow to the Lion of the Congo's abs of steel. The armor plates of Mulezan's gut buckled, and the Hunter's metal clad fist went deep into the Jungler's gut. The bellow exploded over the jungle, as the devastating blow knocked all the wind out of the apeman. As his invulnerable abs finally caved in, the Ape-man stumbled back, bending over from the blow. WHAM! The Hunter seized the opportunity. He threw a tremendous right upper cut backed by every once of power he had.

The  brass knuckled  fist  hits Mulezan's jaw with ferocious
  power. The cold cocked Mulezan is knocked the fuck out!

The brass knuckled fist hits Mulezan's jaw with ferocious power. The last thing the Jungle-man hears before he is cold cocked by the massive right was “Say Goodnight, Bitch!” The Jungle Champion is knocked the fuck out! He is now the Jungle Chumpion!

Hunter stands triumphantly above the defeated and
 unconscious Mulezan! The Hunter did it!  He kicked 
the Jungleman's ass!  Now the Hunter is the Alpha male!  

The Hunter walked a couple of steps back then looked down on Mulezan's unconscious body, laying lifeless and prone in the dirt. The Hunter stood and watched, his stomach heaving. His arms crossed across his mighty chest, surveying the damage he has inflicted on the Lord of the Jungle.

His brother's killer, now lay defeated in the dirt at his feet, beaten and battered to a pulp. He reveled for a moment, in the sweat covered muscle stud’s humiliation. He smiled, the thrill of defeating the Jungle Muscle Stud going straight to his cock. "Yeah!  Down for the count!  I fucking KO'd Mulezan! So much for foreplay." he chuckled. 

 He looked over at the Major with a grin and adjusted the big boner in his loincloth. “ I guess we know who’s the best man now, don’t we, Major?” the Hunter proudly boasted.

I guess we know who’s the best man now, don’t we, Major?

The Major is sporting a major boner, as he watches the Hunter stand triumphantly above the defeated and unconscious Ape-man. Hunter Deux flexed his breathtakingly thick and beefy muscles. The Hunter had done it! He has knocked the King of the Jungle out cold. He has totally kicked the Jungler's ass and proved himself to be the Alpha male, demolishing Mulezan with his Alpha power and strength. The Hunter reached down and tucked the front of his loincloth under his bull-size balls.  This let his giant snake emerge from its den. The swollen cock no longer contained by his tight loincloth was mammoth. The engorged member hung down majestically. between two swole tree-trunks. With a huge victorious smile, the Hunter flexed his rock hard abs and danced his thick pecs in triumph for the Major's benefit. It was really an incredible sight. He just stood there hands on hips, legs spread wide in a display of virility and masculinity. His muscles were pumped from the fight as though he had just finished working out at a gymnasium. His yard wide, broad, sweat-covered muscled shoulders glistened in the sunlight. He had 8-pack abs, a V-muscle around his hips, framing his powerful, thick cock that was hanging down proudly. "And soon," he thought excitedly, "when Mulezan wakes up, the Major will be able to watch as Mulezan worships the Hunter's junk. The Major will see the humiliated Jungleman  perform the ultimate ritual of surrender and suck his conqueror's cock!"

   

All those who say: "Cheaters Never Prosper," have never been hit with brass knuckles on the fist of a powerful puncher!

The Hunter's bat gets first licks by Mulezan!

The Major gets last licks, his bat primed and ready for his 
turn getting a blow job from the beaten Mulezan.

That was some good cocksucking Jungle-boy! 
What humiliation should I inflict next,
perhaps I should take that big, muscular ass
 with this big banana of mine,
you Junglers like big bananas, right?

I've had just about enough of this cocky son of a whore!

FUCK THAT!

"FUCK THAT!" cried Mulezan, and he made his move putting the Hunter Remix into a crushing bear hug!

My turn, ya' cheating mutha-fucker!

The Evil Hunter now was facing the angry wrath of a Mulezan, no longer hampered by drugs.  His recent humiliation fueled his fury and he was kicking ass!  The hauteur on the face of the Hunter had changed to fear, was it not for the intervention of the Major, the Hunter Remix would have lost, but the Major struck the King of the Apes across the back and legs with a thick branch, allowing the Hunter to break the hold, with the help of the Major, the Hunter was able to once again able to take the advantage.  The Major stepped back to enjoy the show, stroking his erect, hard cock with anticipation.

I guess you forgot who is boss around here,
 Jungle-boy!

Now it is time to place you on 'the wrack',
Banana-boy!

First a few overhead  presses before I slam you to the
 ground and finish you off for good.  No more legends
for you  Monkey-breath!

However Hunter was not the only one with friends who could intervene in the nick of time.  Monkey spies had earlier seen Mulezan getting into trouble and went off to get help from Mulezan's gorilla and chimp friends! The apes stormed into the clearing, causing the Major and Hunter to flee for their lives!  Mulezan was  SAVED!

His reputation among the Jungle Apes took a temporary
downgrade!

Even cuckolding the erstwhile King of the Jungle!

Until he established dominance over the apes, and restored
his status in the Jungle!

You never want to kill off a lucrative franchise, heck I will be
 needed in India in a decade or so...

While we enjoyed the carnal-charged pugilism, mentioning our
 royal person in connection with you unsavory blog is most
unseemly Mule, MOST UNSEEMLY!  OFF WITH HIS HEAD!

If you like this story, you may enjoy the rest of the Mulezan Saga if you have missed it:

Original Mulezan Series

Mulezan Goes to India

Mulezan Goes to India: Deleted Scene

Mulezan Goes to India: Alternate Ending



And Make Sure to Check Out the Fantastic Jungle-Themed Animations that JungleKingKazar is doing on his YouTube channel:

Korak, Son of Tarzan vs Akane the Assassin 

The Banon Boys vs Rakor of the Jungle

Kraven the Hunter vs Kazar


Also on the Mulezanish Theme: 

Kazar the Savage vs. Kaiva the Witch Doctor

You also may enjoy these tales from elsewhere on Mule's Blog:

Vignette: Muscle Chick

The Adventures of Mulecules

Mule vs. the Lab Experiment

Mule and the Intersex Chick

Mule and the Intersex Chick: Deleted Scene

Vignette: Mule Meets The P90X Guy

Story by Mule, Editing by Stefan

So I have been seeing (and by 'seeing' I mean banging) this hot chick that's an "Integrative Nutrition Health Coach", certified by The Institute for Integrative Nutrition, "the world's largest certifier of Integrative Nutrition Health Coaches", according to their website. Probably the only one, if I had to guess. 

It all sounds as sketchy as fuck, but she paid a metric fuckton* of money to take a bunch of courses over the Internet and a fee for a license from them, so who am I to take a shit all over her dream. She is currently teaching yoga at the gym while waiting for her career as an Integrative Nutrition Coach to take off. 

 Her ass looks great in Yoga pants, which is how I came to meet her. 

Anyways, she and I have been "integrating" a couple of times a week on the regular, for a while now but then she got all butt-hurt cause I went off hunting with the guys for a week.

To make it up to her we meet up after the hunt and stay in this bed and breakfast that she found online. It was sort of like an upscale Bates Motel only with lace and candles and run by this couple that were like Mayberry's Aunt Bea and Floyd the Barber. The place looked deserted as fuck but they say they will be busy the following week because of Valentine's day. They have a small bar on the outside porch with a happy hour every evening, which is free (if that even makes sense). I am the only guy at the bar and having a Cherry Mt Dew and eating these olives fermented in what I imagine Windex tastes like when who other than Tony Horton from P90x fame comes wandering down from his room.

Tony Horton: Fitness Guru

I instantly recognize him from those late night commercials, before I saw those, when Yoga Chick would prattle on about things and mention Tony Horton, I would confuse him with Tim Horton's and get hungry for things Tony would not approve of!

Well I was curious to meet him, as he is a sort of celebrity, and we start chatting about chit and he tells me that he and his wife are down looking at real estate and have been staying in this B&B and that's all he says about it...at least that I can remember.

Then the chick I am with joins us at the bar, Tony greets her by kissing the back of her hand and whispers in my ear "You're a lucky man , Mule. Meanwhile my slut goes all fan-girl and gets as moist as a 13 year old girl at a One Direction concert.  Tony's wife then joins us. I get a Cougar-ish vibe off her. 

I'm sure the wifey was hot in her prime but she's about 5 years past her expiration date, knowhatimean?  Of course she was still a catch for a guy that was an open homosexual before he met Shawna and had a Road to Damascus moment switching to the straight and narrow...come to think of it...Tony had a bit of a cougarish look to him directed at me, so I hazard that the 60 year old was not as de-converted from Fabulousism, as he would like all to believe.  We all have a drink and his wife and my chick talked about yoga and chit. Anyway they say "Bye, maybe see you about" and go their separate ways.   My "ambassador of health and wellness" regular, was very excited about meeting him, which meant of course an opportunity for me to take her back to our room and fuck her brains out, as she was giddy and happy, which to me SCREAMED... HIGHLY RECEPTIVE, and I am never one to let an opportunity pass.

First, let me post about meeting Tony on my Instagram....

Post-coital bliss, me and my slut look around this "quaint" town ("quaint" is apparently chick-speak for a place of dreary poverty and chock full of hillbillies). We have a pizza for dinner. I made a comment about the macros in PIZZA, and she thought I meant nachos so she got some of them too.  I wondered a moment about her Integrative Nutritionist credentials, but she has that embossed paper certificate that she put in a nice frame, so it must be real. 

She drank a bottle of wine and I had another Mt. Dew. We end up getting back to our room at the B&B late. All evening she was popping these pills like they were Pez. She said they were "muscle relaxers". I asked her if she had pulled a muscle 'cause I know some good things for that, but she explains no, she's fine, she just takes like six of them a day because "she needs to be limber for her job." Well she is a yoga instructor so I guess that makes sense although I am pretty sure muscle relaxers don't work like that and also say right on the Rx bottle not to take them and drink alcohol, must less wash them down with it. But since she carries the muscle relaxers around in a Pez dispenser instead of a Rx bottle I really can't check on that at the moment.

Anyway, she drank a bottle of wine and took like 3 Tizanidine, so she's pretty drunk and really loopy and keeps saying how horny she is. She says she wants to do the  Black Hawk Down* again but I explain to her I didn't bring the bungee cords and we don't have a ceiling fan in the room so no can do, baby.  She is so fucked-up from the pills and alcohol that I basically have to carry her back to the room.

 Once back in the room we start having sex. I'm making dat bish do downward dog, while I fifer scissors her ass, and it's getting a bit loud because she's drunk and I got a big dick so the bitch sounds like a pregnant seal giving birth...

The next thing there is a knock on the door while I'm balls deep in this bish. I jump up thinking it might be SWAT, or a fire or something, put on my jeans, try my best to hide my boner and slowly open the door and peek out to see Tony Horton standing there completely naked except for a towel around his waist. I could see Tony had a big boner under the towel.. I am a little uncomfortable with the salacious way he is looking my shirtless physique over...

Anyway, Tony says to me "Can I join in?" he waits for me to say something and I just look at him like WTF? and then Tony laughs and says "Just kidding man, it's none of my business what you're doing in there but can you keep the noise down as me and my wife are trying to sleep and we're in the room next door." I say "Sorry bro, my bad.." and go back to smashing puss,  but keep it quiet as mice fucking in a wool sock, until me and my drunk slut fall asleep.

The next morning we go down to breakfast and Tony and his wife are having breakfast and I'm thinking that it's going to be awkward but they smile when we walk past and say "good morning" and that's it.

When we sit down at the table and order coffee I notice that Tony keeps looking at me which is making me paranoid, so I take off to the breakfast buffet and start stacking my plate with protein only for Horton to sneak up behind me and say "How's it going big guy?" I say: "Yeah, great... erm sorry about last night, brah..." Tony replies: "If I had a gf like that I'd have been making as much noise as you man.. she's fucking hot, dude..my wife isn't bad either huh?..."  He seemed to be HETEROING a bit TOO hard...

I awkwardly laugh and  Tony looks at my protein plate and gives a disapproving sniff, as only Vegans can, so already feeling awkward and not wanting to hear about the dangers of meat, I take off to fill up another plate at the pancake section.   Tony basically follows me and says "Do you know what my wife calls me?"

I guess: "Ummm...Tony the Homo?"  Tony ignores my answer, smiles and says "Ten inch Tony"... I just  give a nervous laugh and take off  at high speed to my table carrying the loaded plates as deftly as a pro-waiter. I do think about the irony of Tony putting his kielbasa in his vegan wife's mouth...

Tony then walks past my table and says "You should have let me in last night man it would have been fun" and winks at me, then says "Are you guys staying here tonight?.. if so we'll maybe see you at the bar at happy hour?" ... I say "Yeah, OK, cool..." 

You should have let me in last night man it
would have been fun

Anyway I googled Horton and he's 60,  and then I discover the info on his five decades as a gay man, so I begin to think he may be jonesing less for my 24 year old yoga instructor, and more for this 31 year old Mule... fuck ME!  Oh perhaps, a poor choice of words... lol. 

~Meanwhile, next door in Tony "Homo" Horton's 
room...The Plot and something else thickens~

We made sure to be out of the place till real late that night, so not to bump into him again.  I dump the now unconscious chick into the bed.  I guess I'm not getting anymore tonight. Her ass looked amazing and I really was tempted to just jam my dick in her hot ass or between those sweet lips of hers but I wanted her to be awake for that.  

My head hit the pillow.  Then it started.  The nonstop moaning, groaning, screaming, and banging from the other side of the wall were unreal. I spent an hour staring wide eyed at the ceiling in our bedroom listening to sex 

"Please, baby...ugh...not so deep..." the wifey's voice was barely audible over the noise of  her being mauled.  The sounds of mating only increased. Tony's animal grunting was now even more pronounced. I could picture Tony's smile as he no doubt  put every ounce of his gym muscles to work
nailing his wife.  Tony was making her beg.

My dick was rock hard. I couldn't stop
myself from rubbing one out. As I stroked my cock I imagined Tony's bulging biceps wrapped around her while his smooth, hairless buttocks are thrusting deep inside her. Her hands gliding over his chiseled face down his neck to fantastic large traps protruding from his shoulders before running her hand down over his chest that's glistening with sweat. Finally grazing her finger tips over his rippling abdominal's so taut and tight she orgasms simply at the touch.

I had been fapping in sync with their sex session. When it goes silent for about 2 minutes or so this is when I envision as the moment he has pulled out of her and is busting a massive load of cum all over her face, eyes, and hair. I time came as well. Almost as if I'm cumming with him.

I slipped into a deep sleep to the sound of wifey begging "Ten-inch Tony" for a break.

I hadn't been asleep for more than 15 minutes when there was I loud knocking at the door.  Fuck! I grabbed a pillow to wipe my sticky hand on and to hide my rock hard cock behind as I lumber to the door barely awake, naked except for the pillow I am holding in front of me. When I open the door there is Tony, standing in just a pair of boxers.  Well, I dunno if standing is a descriptive enough word.  He was almost posing  his sculpted torso for  me. I couldn't help but let my eyes move up and down the man's amazing body. Bulging biceps, trim waist and muscular thighs.   I guess he was use to people ogling his body.  His powerful cross-fit body-builder's physique bulged in all the right places. His boxers bulged impressively too.   He was checking out my powerfully muscular body and liked what he saw.  My shoulders were as almost as wide as the door.

"I hope we didn't keep you up tonight."  Tony said with a sly grin.  His hands moved to the mound in his boxers and made an exaggerated show of idly scratching his nuts.

My eyes couldn't resist the resist the reflex to follow his hand for a split second. All I

did was shrug. It was certainly a big mound. But I  from all the noise I had heard. His bitch was screaming like she was taking a baseball bat up her cunt.  Now his hands were just cupping his crotch. From the corner of my vision  I saw the mound  moving and expanding.  He adjusted the mound again  and it was clear that the fly of his boxers was now gaping open. He took

two slow steps and was now a foot away from me, invading my personal space while locking his eyes to mine with an intense look in his eyes.

After holding my gaze almost a full minute his hands released his crotch and a quick glance down confirmed that he was nearly fully erect. My eyes widened but I stayed silent and stoic. 

At this point I didn't worry about trying not to look. It was obvious he wanted me. One of his hands started to move back towards his crotch  but all he did was cup and lift his nuts a bit. This caused more of his junk to be visible through the gaping fly of his boxers. I could see the thick base of his dick surrounded by buzzed down pubes. The outline of his straining shaft pointing along the right side of crotch, ready to tear out of the boxers.  My eyes started to follow up along it's length to the head but my eyes suddenly lost focus. It took me a second to realize why -- a very intoxicating smell. I loudly took a deep breath to capture more of

it. My eyes popped open and up to Tony when it hit me what I was smelling. That was the smell of Tony and his bitch's sex. His shit-eating grin only confirmed it. The smell of his cum mixed with her pussy juice.  Cum, pussy juice, piss, cock cheese, sweat and testosterone.  The intoxicating smell of humans rutting like animals and of a female in heat! The scent hit me like a punch to the gut.

I dropped the pillow I had been holding in front of my waist since I answered the door. 'Fucking hell Mule, you're hung like a fucking horse!' Tony gasped when he saw my cock for the first time.  I cast my eyes downward towards Tony's waist and replied "you're packing a Clydesdale-sized horse cock yourself!' in an almost indifferent tone. We both felt our big cocks grow long and hard, and our balls fill and thicken. Tony's lips turned upward in a smug grin as he stepped forward.  There were just inches separating us now and we could feel the heat from each other's body on our skin. 

Tony grabbed me roughly, pinning my arms against my sides and bear hugging me. Forcing me backward, he shoved my broad back hard against the door with a loud bang. My initial grunt of shock quickly turned into groans.  Tony was leaning into me using his massive chest to pin me against the wall, grunting as he inhaled my scent.  Opening his mouth he stuck out his tongue and licked a broad stripe up my throat.  I shuttered as my head pushed back and I moaned.

My  hands slid down Tony’s muscled, narrow lower back and I dug my fingers hungrily into the powerful mounds of muscle of Tony's ass. The next moment, I gasped in shock as Tony snapped his long arms around my waist, locked his fists together against the small of my back, and lifted my feet off the floor with his breathtaking bearhug. I was astonished by his strength. Our cocks were both fully erect and grinding against each other as Tony stepped slowly into the dark hall with the me suspended in his crushing embrace. Abruptly, Tony swung to the left, sending the my upper back crashing with a bang into the nearby wall. 

Then Tony firmly grabbed hold of my wrists and pried them over my head and against the wall.  Tony now had me pinned against the wall. "This is your lucky day, Mule! You’re going to get to suck celebrity cock tonight, mother fucker!”  Tony chuckled.


I ended up on my knees, starting at his magnificent bulge. With out thinking about it I leaned forward and hugged Tony's thigh, pushing my face into the bulge and nuzzled my mouth against the hard length under the thin cotton of his boxers.  The scent of the late-night fitness guru's crotch was musky pungent and overwhelming.  I clamped my lips down on the hard length of flesh outlined in the tight fabric and sucked.

Tony let out a growl, his hands coming down to the back of my head and pushing me into his cock.  He thrust his hips forward, crushing my ace into his crotch. 

I released Tony's cock.   His cock was long, thick and veined, with a wide base and an even wider head.,  It was ten inches, just as promised., Grabbing the length by the base, my fingers wrapped the thick tumescence, and bobbed my head froward to take the tip into my mouth.  The taste exploded on my tongue.

Tony's knees almost buckled, and I found myself pushed back as big Tony spread his legs wide and braced himself with both
hands on the against the wall behind me and fucked  my mouth.  His other hand came down to press against the back of my head, holding me in place.  My jaw ached as I stretched my mouth wide to accommodate the enormous cock.  Tony tried to push his way down my throat.  Dropping my grip on Tony's meaty thighs, I reached down and wrapped my fingers around my own cock and started jerking myself off. My cock was leaking pre-cum and my hand slid up and down its girthy nine-inch length without fiction. 

"Come on , take it!"  Tony snarled as he shifted his angle and with a powerful push of his muscled glutes sank his thick ten inches in until he was balls deep.  I was deep throating the monster cock now shoved down my gullet.  Tony's pubes were tickling my nose as I jerked myself off furiously and my lungs screamed for air.  Holding his entire cock down in place, Tony used the muscles in my throat to work his cock like my throat was his own personal fleshlight.  
I was getting lightheaded and near the point of passing out when everything came together like a bolt of lightening and Tony shot his load.   At the same moment, Tony pulled his cock back until just the head was in my mouth. It was like a hose going o in my mouth. Like a super soaker set to
maximum drenching capability, Tony's bull nuts were sucked way up inside his
sack as his love gun fired as a cumload big enough fill a kiddie pool.  Thick gooey cum-ropes shot into my mouth, forcing me to swallow or drown.   When the torrent finally ended  I slumped back against the wall behind me, cum leaking from the corner of my mouth.  Both Tony and I were breathing hard  like we had just run a marathon. 

Tony slid his deflating (but still huge) dong from my mouth and stood looking triumphant, with a shit-eating grin.  And just like that, without saying a word, he turned around and strolled back down the hallway to his room next door.  I sat there on my ass on the floor, in a daze.


After we get back home to Dallas my chick added Horton on Facebook and bought P90X supposedly for the yoga video or some chit. Now I'm thinking maybe I shouldn't have told her what Tony said about his wife calling him "Ten-Inch Tony".  Tony keeps sending me FB friend requests, but I keep deleting them.

Ten-inch Tony is what she calls me...think about it Mule, I could
 please you AND your girlfriend...I am VERY flexible...

Just another weird romantical encounter in the life of YOUR MULE...

I bet you are thinking the world of yoga and the world of Mule are not something you will think of intersecting...

But firstly, consider two words:  YOGA PANTS!  Secondly, the world of Mule and of Yoga intersect in other less overtly sexual ways!!!!!  The Mulish world of VIOLENCE can collide with the normally non-violent YOGA world...

I keep having my Yoga bish repeatedly demonstrate this as
yoga practice, then doggie-style her, she falls for it like Charlie
 Brown falls for Lucy's trick with the Football!

I have been pretzeled that way in a fight, but never willingly
done it on my own, for the Mule body to bend like this
requires the application of a vise-like outside force and
excruciating pain...

One of my Dallas BJJ sparring partners, Dave, asked me if I
ever noticed how martial arts were not all that different from
gay porn, I dismissed the notion, and wondered about Dave's
browser history...but in truth, the connection is frequently
 made on this blog in literary form...

Ummmm.....how about NOOOOOOOO!!!!!

That is more like it!

Are you not entertained?

For further reading on the Institute for Integrative Nutrition please see:        https://www.credentialwatch.org/reports/iin.shtml


*METRIC CONVERSION:

Metric Fuckton: More properly, "Metric Fucktonne." The Fuckton is the Imperial standard for the measurement of fuckweight, while the Fucktonne, in contrast, constitutes the Metric measure of fuckmass. There are 10 shitloads per metric fucktonne. In Imperial measurements, it's about 66/7 shitloads per fucktonne. Most people prefer to use metric. If you're not familiar with this conversion system, there's no need to be embarrassed.


*Black Hawk Down*

The act of strapping your sex partner's arms to a ceiling fan, laying underneath them with your dick in their orifice, and turning the fan on so they spin around on your dick. Usually accompanied by helicopter sound effects.

If you liked P90X you may also enjoy these stories:

Daddy Issues Part One

Daddy Issues Part Two

Mule vs. the Husband Part One

Mule vs. the Husband Part Two

Don't Mess with the Hat

Mule versus Muscle Gramps

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