Vignette: Haircut at Cheapcuts

So about a month or so ago I was getting my haircut @ Cheap Cuts and there was this new hairdresser there, some hot little bitch with fake tits. I didn't think anything of it, and got my haircut from the chick who normally cuts it.  Next time I go in, my hair cutter chick  tells me how hot that new chick thought I was, and all this other shit so, I left my number to give to her.

So couple of days later this chick texts me saying she has a bf, but wants to hang out when he's at work and she's home alone. I end up going over her house the next day. This chick is like 5'2" got double d tits... 100 lbs. -- just the perfect fuckin' body.

I had her strip down naked within 10 minutes of being at her house and was just playin' with her like she was a fuckin' barbie; suckin' on her titties and fingerblasting her while she sat across my lap. She took my clothes off and got down to my  briefs."Shit! ! You got one hell of a body. I've never seen a man with so much muscle this close and personal.Your muscles look stronger than Superman." she tells me.   My dick wasn't even fully straight-up hard  and dat bitch  was like holy fuck ur dick is huge.

She then gets on her knees and pulls it out and  inspects it, saying it's the biggest dick she's ever seen. I just laugh, tell her it ain't gonna suck itself,  and palming her head with my giant right paw, put her head down and she starts blowing me and jerking me off for like half an hour. She then just sits on my dick raw, and rides me for a while. I pick her up and start fuckin' her. It went on for about almost 2 hours.

I ended up falling asleep with her naked in her bed for like an hour and her boyfriend, who lives at her place, called her sayin' he was on his way home. I got my clothes on and bounced and she told me she would call me up again when she's free and he's at work and kept thanking me for coming over. lol.  

She been calling all day but I put her on ignore

Musings from Valhalla: Sage Advice

Vignette: Felt Alpha as Phuck Buying Condoms Today

I felt alpha as phuck buying condoms today

Roll up to Kmart in my black Jeep, blasting tunes, windows down. park in a handicapped spot-- cuz i came here for one thing and one thing only! I head straight for the naughty aisle, pick up a pack of magnums and slap 'em on the counter with nuttin' else.

blonde 8.5/10 hbb casheir looks up at me and I know she knows I'm finna git my fuck on. I got this shit eating grin on my face and she's startin' to salvate. "Will that be all for today?".

"Do I LOOK like a chocolates and flower guy?" I reply. All the other female cashiers giggle and this hbb starts blushing.

 "That'll be $7.71".
"Sorry,I only got $7.69" and then I give her a wink.  Pin drop silence, and I see wet spots formin' in the crotchal region of some onlooking 5/10s.  I throw down a Hamilton and tell her to keep the change.

Head out to the parking lot, get in my whip, toss a rubber on the niner, and fap right there. solid gusher's worth of spunk in there.

I chill out for about 2 hrs in the lot, some old phaggot keeps honking at me to get out of the handicapped spot but I just blast some Mike Jones and tell him to get lost before I mangle him.

Finally I see that hbb heading to her car,  step out as she walks by my ride, used condy in hand.

I yell "Hey bebe", she turns around and I slap her in the face with my milk-filled magnum.

"Now you're officially my gf" I say, "Pleases change your Facebook status". She screams and runs away.

Whatever-- it's just a numbers game anyways, still got 4 condys left in the box