Amusings from Valhalla: Still Moar Mulish Humor

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Musings from Valhalla: Mule vs. the Feminazi

I was scouring the Internet for references to my blog, curious to see what the blogsphere was saying about my edumcational efforts to verse folks on what it means to be an icon of virility in an increasingly pussified world, when suddenly I came on THIS title:

MULESBLOG: A FEMYNIST ANALYSIS AND CRITIQUE OF TOXIC MASCULINITY IN A BASTION OF MISOGYNSTIC, PHALOCENTRIC, CISGENDERED, PATRIARCHAL, WHITE PRIVILEGED BLOVIATING.

Well that has simply got to be an article of high praise with all them big fancy adjectives, and sure enough when I scanned to the blogbish's picture, I knew it was a chick who would really, really dig me!

You just KNOW she is asking for my donger in her big open mouth!

You know Your Mule is pretty damn inspiring when someone cranks out a polysyllabic 800 word rant all about ME!

Talk among yourselves, I am overcome with emotions
 for the moment!

Damn I hate when I catch feelings, well back to this review of a review of my blog!  It started well:  The iniquity of this verbal neanderthal rapespace called Mulesblog cannot be underestimated. It is a violation of all of womynkind that such a travesty of malevolent hatred of our gender is permitted to putrefy the Internet with the vilifying hatespeech plastered across this mancave of white, male-supremacist cisgendered indoctrination. He seems oblivious to the modern strictures that men of his class, ethnicity and gender-identity have spoken enough, and now must only listen! Shhhhhh I say to all such dinosaurs!

There were a lot of words there, too many to actually read, but I saw the word dinosaurs, and I really like dinosaurs, even if Catbrah says they are fake! 

I skipped down through the next couple of paragraphs discussing the femynist theory that would be used in the  critique, with sesquipedalian terms of about something called the phalodeconstructionist dialectic, and since I suffer from  
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia, and have a doctor's note to prove it, I knew I would be triggered by the polysyllabic terminology and convoluted syntax of that dizzing and mind-numbing portion of the treatise.

 My eyes scanned to this:  His preoccupation with combat, aggression, muscles and large phallic size is, but a hyperbolic celebration of hypo-masculinity, heterosexual-supremacist, female subordinating rape-culture, filled with blatant homophobia, all sugar-coated in purportedly gay friendly stories.  However, any careful femynist analysis clearly can discern the propagandistic subtext of the stories, carefully sequestered beneath an exaggerated and therefore false facade of  bisexual fantasy.  This pseudogayinizing of the blog, is just a transparent mask to silence feminist critics of the works,using a protected-category thematic cover.  These tales are merely in the guise of LGBTQIA&%#@+ artistic expression! Do not be fooled!

So my stories are so gay they have to be homophobic diatribes?

I scrolled down some more. Until this hit my eye:  It is not that I am against fantasy and narrative, these arts, if written with feminagination can support constructive, co-operative, self-esteem building safe environments for purposeful and positive expressions of thought properly aligned to the social justice parameters of acceptable society.

However such must be free of the taint of masculinizing, combative thought patterns that suppress social progress and stain minds with phalocentric thoughtcrimes. Masculine fantasy is inherently steeped in a matrix of violence against womyn and against protected classes of gender identity and sexual predilection, male erotic thought is ALL sheer pornographic vestiges of raw primitive bestial violence.  All male sexuality straight or gay, therefore is based on hierarchy, dominance and patriarchy as well as violence, hence all such masculine sexual thoughts are the moral equivalent of rape, so erotic fantasies about such sexuality must be illustrative of rape-culture and counter-indicative of societal harmony, progress and well-being.

As long as any MALE is involved in the experience!

O.k. I was beginning to think this loud-mouthed chick didn't like the blog and just didn't understand the essence of what the Mulesblog experience was all about.  Well there is nothing one can do about people who are close-minded and not open to new perspectives.  I myself  am always open to new perspectives, I just have never found any to be superior to my own.  Until that time Mule rules and others drool!

Mulezan v. the Evil Hunter--The Sex Fight --*** Deleted Scene *** : In the Ruins of the Palace

This scene was deleted from the story MULEZAN V. THE EVIL HUNTER--THE SEX FIGHT  so be sure to check out that story first to gain some context for it.

Mulezan shows the Hunter the  Ruins of the Palace located deep in the Jungle....

It was said to have been built by the ancient sorcerers!

It was said to be dedicated to ancient gods of pleasure,

 appetites and excess...

The Hunter is fascinated by the enchanted polished floor, as reflective as a mirror even after years of neglect.

It wasn't long in this enchanted palace that both men found
themselves aroused...

The Hunter found himself aroused like Narcissus by his own
 reflection...

Gotta give this Hunter Dude his due, he's fuckin' hawt....

A swim in the pool...the waters crystal clear and charged with magic...

Hunter wanted Mulezan to come into the pool, and that was
 not the only place he wanted him to come in...

The waters tingled around his loins, causing his manhood to
 swell and throb...

His brain exploded with desires...
...and endorphins...

Mulezan's limbering and flexing before entering the pool was
 driving the hunter wild...

A feral beast of wanton desire had devoured the rational part
 of his mind...

Hunter snarled: Come in already, the water is perfect...

Mulezan was a little unsettled by the bestial look on the
 Hunter's face...

But the effects of the water, even on his lower legs was
 beginning to have an effect on Mulezan, and he became
fixated on the beautiful body of his rival...
oh how he craved it...

The Hunter began to swim, the fluid flow of the muscles as he exercised created such startling desire in Mulezan, that he backed away from the pool, a little alarmed by his own lascivious thoughts...he had a job to do, he couldn't be distracted with desire for his foe!

The Hunter disappointed that Mulezan did not join him in the pool, exercises after his swim with some push-ups, hoping to work off some of his sexual energies and regain control over his mind with focused discipline...

Good form, Hunter...have you ever tried clap push-ups
 or one-handed?

No, but I do need more of a challenge!, he said, his lust for
 Mulezan still threatening his reason

I need more weight that this, climb on my back Mulezan,
so I can get a decent workout....

"I need more weight that this, climb on my back Mulezan, so I can get a decent workout....", the lusting Hunter said, not quite sure why he had made such a suggestion given the purpose of the push-ups.

The press of Mulezan's flesh against his, did not give the
 Hunter the focus he desired...

His raging hard-on was more of an impediment to his push-
ups than Mulezan's added weight...

Even with Mulezan's 260 lbs added, the Hunter rips out the sets of push ups and makes it look easy...

But by number 50, even the mighty Hunter was feeling it...those powerful arms are only human after all, thought Mulezan as he saw the Hunter struggle with his last few push ups

The temptation of Mulezan's proximity and the influence of the palace was more than the Hunter could take..."You want to find out who fucks the best, Ape Man?  Let's do it..."

Let's do it!

Mulezan hungered to thrust his throbbing member in the
Hunter's hole...

The Hunter similarly was eager to spread apart the big
muscular cheeks of Mulezan and insert his erect fuckpole!

They jockeyed for position, each wanting to top the other...

The bubble butts of the other muscleman, inflamed each
 adversary into a state of fevered desire & male aggression.

The fuck contest begins, with the Hunter securing the top position first...

You remember my cock in you...and you  know you want that
 pleasure again...

Relax, I will be gentler than I was, the last time!

When I am finished, you will concede defeat, and forever
surrender to me, as my bottom bitch...

You will know how things are meant to be...

You will embrace the new reality, and enjoy your new role...

I will fuck you how you long to be fucked...need to be fucked...

Hunter flips Mulezan face down and continues to fuck him....Mulezan had to admit, the Hunter was as good as his word, he really wanted and needed this fucking...

Beg me for more, yeah BEG ME!

Good, good Mulezan, I love it when my bitches
BEG for my cock!

MMMMMMMMM, moaned Mulezan, alarmed at his feelings
 of submission and arousal...

Is this contest over, do you concede that I am your Man,
 and you my bitch?

Say the words of surrender, and I will place you in the throes of
such ecstasy as you have never experienced...

But Mulezan would not concede, and through force of will, pulled a wrestling reversal on his adversary, as his rival paused in his thrusts...Now its Mulezan on top, and the Hunter is getting fucked...  the glorious scene of the Hunter being fucked by Mulezan is being reflected by the Ruin's silver floor...

I have to admit, you weren't bad Hunter, but now for you to
 learn how it is DONE!

You might learn a thing or two, not that you will ever top again...

The Hunter pulls his own reversal...

But his triumph is short lived, as Mulezan is once again
 in charge.

The Hunter's ass surrenders to the big hard fuckpole of
 the Jungle Lord

This is not like those times in prison, thought the Hunter as he
 writhed in ecstasy...

But once again the Hunter shows his power by regaining the top position..

What were you  saying about me never topping again?

Mulezan didn't answer except with moans as his ass dutifully
absorbed the Hunter's cock thrusts...

A part of Mulezan's mind wanted to resist, but another part
was more than happy to surrender...

Hunter was skilled, and was not going to make this easy for
Mulezan...

Mulezan had to be patient, and let the Hunter tire himself out,
 and there was no reason he could not enjoy the ride, or so he
sought to convince himself.

Mulezan's patience paid off, and it wasn't long before he was riding the Hunter like a horse and the Belgian was responding with rhythmic paring to the powerful pelvic thrusts of the Jungle-man.


Mulezan out sexes the Hunter!

A little tight, let me loosen this up for you, so my big, thick
 donger slides in nice and easy...

You are going to get used to this, enjoy being my butt monkey...

Relax Hunter, I got your ass in my sights and I am going to fill
 it wish donger shot

I am going to breed you like a bitch, and you are going to
 LOVE IT.

You will find that this bronco rider can last a lot more than 8
seconds!

Is 'mmmrgh aaaaghhhh arrghhh mrrmmm' some sort of
Flemish talk?

Oh yeah, you are definitely seeing that BOTTOM is your place
 in any fucking!

Let's give that fine ass of yours a rest and give your front
 some fun!

You having fun, yet?

How about this, you like this?

I have what they call the 'magic fingers'!

Yeah, this is how we do things in the Jungle, sure beats
civilization, huh?

Some of what we call the JUNGLE TICKLE...

What was that, Hunter, don't stop you say?
Time for YOU to BEG!

That was some good begging, here is some reward to encourage
 you to more of it!

Oh yeah, I don't understand that Flemish talk, but I can guess
the gist of it!

This little maneuver we like to call the LEOPARD!

...and we call this the GORILLA GYRATION!

Don't give out now, I haven't shown you the half of it...