Musings from Valhalla: Phrasing

Malapropism:

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

A malapropism (also called a malaprop or Dogberryism) is the use of an incorrect word in place of a word with a similar sound, resulting in a nonsensical, often humorous utterance. An example is the statement by baseball player Yogi Berra, "Texas has a lot of electrical votes," rather than "electoral votes". [1] Malapropisms also occur as errors in natural speech and are often the subject of media attention, especially when made by politicians or other prominent individuals.

I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.

Accidental Double Entendre:

A Double Entendre is a word or phrase which was meant to be taken in two VERY different ways. One meaning is literal, and benignly innocent. The other interpretation is more subtle, and is  usually sexual or in some fashion, highly taboo and inappropriate. It is the very soul of wit, albeit it raunchy wit.  When done accidentally, it is more of a brain fart, and if one is unaware of it, the soul of witlessness. 

Innuendo:

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:

An innuendo is an hint, insinuation or intimation about a person or thing, especially of a denigrating or a derogatory nature. It can also be a remark or question, typically disparaging (also called insinuation), that works obliquely by allusion. In the latter sense the intention is often to insult or accuse someone in such a way that one's words, taken literally, are innocent.

Phrasing (Urban Dictionary)

An exclamation and/or warning given to another over the unintended sexual innuendo of an otherwise innocent phrase.

Commonly heard by various characters on the animated FX television series, "Archer".
"You wanna play me hard?" "Phrasing." "Well, then you better nut up!" "Phrasing!" "I've swallowed just about as much as I can take from you!" "PHRASING!!"
#archer  #innuendo

Unfortunately unlike in a blog, in real life we don't have editors cleaning up after us, and feet can sometimes be planted firmly in one's mouth, and when you have a foot as big as mine, that can be a problem.  

Fortunately I have been blessed with an adorably handsome face and giant fists backed up with bulging muscles, which usually helps me through predicaments when I stumble.

 
I know what y'all are thinking.  Another week goes by without the next installment of the Gary series...

For those chewing on the furniture in anticipation of the next story, remember before you fire up the angry emails... remember Mulesblog is an unpaid gig, all the contributors are unpaid.  So we all have real jobs in the non-virtual world.  For your Mule, this is NFL draft month, so there is much work heading into this annual rite of spring, and an even greater amount of work in its wake.  So delays are to be expected.  Just remember, our policy towards your righteous indignation can be summed up in two words:

In the meantime, let us distract you all while you are waiting....

a preview of the upcoming installment of Gary and Torn: a mysterious priest arrives at the Retreat, who could it be?  Is it the....SEXorcist?  

and now for something else to keep you distracted...