Vignette: Ask a guy who just survived an earthquake anything

It kinda got lost in the news cuz of the DC quake but the day before that we had a quake here in Colorado also. I was at my MMA gym getting some rolling* in when an earthquake hit.  At the time of the quake, I had a teammate's back and was flattening him out. When the shaking started he thought I was being a dick and humping him and he was like "Dude, what the fuck?!" and I was like "I'm not doing anything!". The shaking continued and he was really pissed and screamed "Stop!". 

When the shaking continued he threw a nasty elbow back at my face which knocked me off and created some space between us. At that point, a big tile fell from the ceiling, landing right where we had just been rolling. He then realized I had been telling the truth and we got up and ran for the door.

Under the circumstances, I didn't tell my coach about the elbow he threw and my opponent has agreed to roll* again. He even agreed to let me start on the back since he now realizes I wasn't actually humping him. I plan on choking the crap out of him and once he starts tapping I will probably start thrusting my hips to piss him off since I'ma still pissed off about the elbow, whih really jacked my strong ass jaw... I wonder if  in MMA is it illegal to mount an opponent doggie style, then proceed to slide ur cock in his ass during the fight?    The hard part I imagine would be getting my cock out from behind my cup....

*Rocking & Rolling - terms that encompass both aspects of the fight game. 'Rocking' refers to stand-up fighting and 'Rolling' refers to the ground game.