Mule and the Beach Evangelist

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Mule and the Beach Evangelist

story by Mule, original art and concept by Steve, editing by Stefan

It was the last week of summer and Mule decided to spend a day at the beach.

Mule sat in the shade, watching the  water lap onto the beach as passersby enjoyed the hot sunny day.  The place was kind of a muscle beach area where many bodybuilders came on weekends to strut their stuff. Mule watched the stream of musclemen as they walked by to find a place to sunbathe. Hunk after hunk walked by, each one usually escorted by a cute, Barbie doll girl. Mule was scoping out the chicks behind his aviator sunglasses, trying to decide which one he would steal for himself. Muscle loving sluts like these are always monkey branching whenever a bigger dude comes along.

Mule was wearing a speedo swimsuit which showed off his huge quads and, as a bonus, his ample bulge. Luckily he has a "barely concealed" weapon permit in Colorado for that gun.  His deep cut stringer top did nothing to hide his astonishing physique. When your built like the Mule you can get away with a speedo at the beach without looking like a tourist from Europe or Brazil, or umm...South Beach

Suddenly there was  some dude just twenty feet away from him, handing out some kind of pamphlets.

The Beach Evangelist 

Shit, look at that guy," Mule thought. This guy was exceptional. He wore blue speedos and a blue and white shirt that was unbuttoned, showing a hairy torso and a gold cross.  Strikingly handsome, he stood over six-feet tall and weighed around 245 pounds of rock-hard, lean muscle. His shoulders were wide and huge cannonballs flowed down from traps that made his shirt bulge and even the best-built bodybuilders on the beach envious. His blue banana hammock  was packed with something huge.   His chest was thick and powerful. And his upper arms were 20 inches of competition-league meat, rippling with bulging veins and muscle fibers. Even his forearms were unbelievably thick and dense, yet pulsing with veins and muscle.

The big Preacher-Man was handing out some kind of 
pamphlets

Through his open, unbuttoned shirt you could see his abs  which made people blink to confirm what their eyes were seeing. They were chiseled rows of muscle with seemingly no evidence of fat, stacked on a narrow lower torso. And his legs were absolutely huge- with definition that would make many professional bodybuilders jealous, and muscle size that did the same. He was astounding! Ripped muscles danced and bulged with each step. He didn't strut, but he sure knew how to walk.    It almost looked like he was glowing, but that could have just been the bright sun reflecting off the coconut sun tan oil that was greasing down his top tier physique. 

"Holy fuck!" Mule thought. "That guy is STACKED!" 

Holy fuck!" Mule thought. That guy is STACKED!

Mule could hear the dude asking the people that passed if they had accepted baby Jebus as their savior, as he was handing out his pamphlets

Now Mule doesn't have anything against religion, he even goes to church every Christmas and Easter. And more than one slut had told him he had a dick like  Sweet Jesus.  Or at least that is what they screamed out when they orgasmed.   And pretty much every weekend some chick says OMG when he drops his drawers or slips his dick in her, so Mule has brought many a sloot to religion, by his reckoning, so your Mule can be considered a Priapan-style Evangelist.  But Mule don't like these dudes who are constantly pushing religion on others like this dude was doing.  "Better to let them come to it when they cum," is Mule's way of figurin'.

Being a hot day, the Bible Toting beach preacher soon 
removed his shirt 

Handing out his pamphlets ...

... and asking passers-by if they had accepted Jesuz 

Since everyone was throwing the brochures on the ground about six steps after they took one, there were plenty on the ground by now, so Mule picked one up.   It said "Bodybuilder's for Christ" and had this picture on the front of a jacked Jesus bench pressing a big heavy wood cross with "Sins of the World" written on the cross.  Mule realized that the dude had a tattoo of the same pic on his arm.

Gary spots the only individual who has been even slightly 
interested in his brochure all day!

God's salesman approaches the Mule to close the deal

Jesus could sure use a guy as built as this guy!"
--Gary thought.

So Mule is looking at the pamphlet and there is this section called "Wrestling for Jesus"  which he  starts reading because it had cool pictures and Mule likes wrestling.

Wrestling for Jesus

 In verse 12 Paul goes on to mention wrestling with the dark forces of the enemy. This is where many believe that we should and must wrestle with the devil. It is interesting to see what the Greek word for "wrestle" means. This word "wrestle" comes from the Greek word pale. Wrestling back in the days of Paul was not anything like today. It was much more violent. Often people died in this sport. Often there would be bones and backs broken! There were very few rules. Another interesting thing about the "pale" or wrestling in Paul's day was the fact that the combatants wrestled naked! They wore no clothes so that the opponent could not grab the clothing. When Paul used this term pale for wrestling those who read this in his day knew exactly what he was referring to. They envisioned a bloody affair in which two naked wrestlers fought.... 

That's as far as Mule had read when suddenly something was blocking his sun. WTF, his only day to tan and there's a fucking eclipse...  He looked up, and the big dude was standing over him, blocking out the sun.  

"Hey Man, thanks for reading... my name is Gary" the big fucker says...Mule realizes he is probably the only one who is actually reading the booklet rather than just throwing it on the ground and this has caught Gary's attention.

Something big is suddenly blocking
 Mule's sun....

Hey Man, thanks for reading... my name is Gary

"Yeah O.K. my name is Mule..." Mule replied,  hoping that Gary here didn't try to further conversate with him.  But no such luck...

Mule, have you accepted the Lord in your heart...?

"Let me ask you something, Mule, have you accepted the Lord Jesus as your personal savior?"

"Tell ya what, Gary, how about you don't tell me about Jesus and I won't tell you about my ingrown toenail... we just call it even, eh boyo...? And do you mind not blocking my sun, pal..." Mule replied.

"Easy there, big fella," Gary says in a irritatingly pleasant tone "I am just trying to save your soul here.   And as it says in what you're reading there, I have a special out reach program to help save big tough guys like you...I call it Wrestling for Jesus."

"How does that work exactly?... it was too long, didn't read much of it...cool pics though." Mule responded, sort of intrigued.  

Easy there, Mule. I have a special outreach program for big
 dudes like you

What's that?  Mule asks

I call it 'Wrestling for Jesus'  the beefy deacon explains

"It's real easy, man.  You and I wrestle.  You agree that when I win, you will attend my church once a week for the next month.  You will grow to enjoy it, dude..." Gary responded.

Mule just laughs.  "Listen you bible thumping Church-Brah, I would kick your ass so hard you will be feeling pain like Jesus nailed to the cross in the fucking desert..."

"That's where you're wrong Mule, I never lose.  I have the Lord on my side." came the calm reply, and Gary gave a sly wink to the Big Man upstairs. 

"Right now, back there...bring your buddy the Lord with you...I guarantee you will need the help..."  Mule gestures up behind the rocks on the beach where no one can see...

You and I wrestle.  You agree that when I win, you will attend
 my church each Sunday for the next month

Listen you bible humping Church-Brah, I will kick your ass so
 hard you will be feeling pain like Jesus nailed to the cross in
 the fucking desert...

That's where you're wrong Mule, I never lose.  
I have the Lord on my side.

A few minutes later the pair have climbed up to an area behind the rocks out of view of the beach.  They turn and look at each other.

They climb up to an area behind the rocks out of view
 of the beach

Overall, the two fighters seemed to be fairly evenly matched. Mule pulled his  stringer top  over his head and dropped it to the sand. His ripped abs,  bulging chest,  wide lats and shoulders all became visible as Mule's incredible, sculpted, naked torso was revealed.  Mule was in just his speedo now, while his Bible-humper opponent quickly dropped his own shirt and went down to just his own blue speedo.  He removed his gold cross, kissed it, and then  carefully placed it on top of his bible on the ground.  The Brawny Preacher had a physique that was on Mule's level, which he lost no time in proving.  He flexed his chest muscles, placed his fists on his hips and flared his wide, V-shaped back. At the same time he hardened his  stomach muscles to show off his deeply ridged  eight-pack abs. His fucking stomach looked like the grill of a Mac truck.  Then he raised both arms and  flexed his biceps. Mule had to admit that this Sinewy Soul Saver looked magnificent.

 The two fighters started to circle one another ; neither rushed into any action. Their eyes never left one another as tension increased. 

"Did you know that the name Israel, means 'He who wrestles with God'. Given to Jacob after he wrestled with God’s angel.  We all wrestle with God in our hearts and minds. It is how we grow to be better men."  Gary says to Mule as they circled.

"Yeah,  I think I read something kind of like that in a fortune cookie once."  Mule replied.

Mule wasted no time. He started slamming kick after kick into the back of the Preacher-man's thighs as they circled. The sound of Mule's bare feet beating on the Preacher-brah's thick muscular hamstrings echoed throughout the rock enclosed clearing mixed with a loud grunt out of Gary as each kick connected. The continuous assault had the Evangelmuscle wobbly on his feet. 

Mule slammed kick after kick into the back of the
Preacher-man's legs as they circled. 

The sound of Mule's bare feet beating on the Preacher-man's
 thick muscular hamstrings sounded like cannon shots

The Buff Pastor's huge quads were quickly  bruised black
 and blue from Mule's savage kicks 

Each kick that Mule landed got a loud grunt from
 the Brawny Preacher

Mule's kicks soon had the Sinewy Soul Saver
 hobbling on rubbery legs

Mule went on for a few more kicks before he stopped and picked up his opponent by his waist. From behind, Mule hooked his fists across the buff pastor’s lower abdomen and yanked the Preacher-brah backward. Lifted off his feet, the Preacher-man was suplexed hard to his back, landing on the hard sand.

As Muscles-for-Jesus struggled to get back up on his feet, Mule dragged him back up by his hair.

"You are about to feel a WORLD OF HURT!" Mule growled.

"The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the defense of my life; Whom shall I dread? " Gary stated between pants.

"Me for one, like when I do THIS….."  Mule taunted as he wrapped his strong arms around the Preacher-man's waist. Mule growled and started to flex his arms, determined to squeeze the life out of his opponent. 

Mule wraps his mighty arms around
 the Muscle Man of the Cloth in a
 powerful bearhug

Mule growled, determined to squeeze his
 opponent flatter than a communion wafer 

The  Bible-thumping fighter moaned in
 Mule's bearhug

The  Bible-Humping fighter moaned in Mule's bearhug. He wrapped his legs around Mule's thighs as he felt the pressure increasing around his ribs. Mule wasn't letting up. He started to lift the 245-pounder off his feet while pumping his biceps rhythmically. 

 Preacher-man pulled himself upward in Mule's arms

The Muscled Minister hiked his huge legs up around Mule's
 waist and locked his ankles right on top of his opponent's
 bulging ass

All of a sudden, the Preacher-man pulled himself upward in his opponents arms, pressing down on Mule’s broad shoulders. The Buff Bible Thumper positioned his thick chest in front of his opponent’s face as he wrapped his arms around Mule's head. He hiked his legs up around Mule's waist and locked his ankles right on top of his opponent's bulging ass. 

Python like arms  pulled Mule's head forward until Mule's
 face was buried in the Padre of Power's deep pec valley

Mule couldn't breathe with his face trapped in the thick chest
 of his powerful adversary

Gary wrapped Mule up like a python and pulled Mule's head forward until Mule's face was buried in Church Boy's deep pec valley. The veins in the Preacher-man’s arms rose to the surface like ropes when he started to really apply pressure. Mule couldn't breathe with his face trapped in the thick chest of his powerful adversary.   Mule tried to pull his Jesus-loving opponent off desperately, but the Preacher-man didn't budge for a second.  Gary was one strong motherfucker. The Mule fought to breathe, his face smothered between the Preacher-man's mountainous pecs. 

The Mule fought to breathe, his face smothered between the
 Preacher-man's mountainous pecs

Mule grew weak from lack of oxygen

Once the Preacher-man felt Mule grow weaker, and his struggle beginning to fade, the Preacher-man let go of Mule and jumped backward.  Mule panted heavily, trying to catch his breath. the Preacher-man's smothering headlock had taken a lot out of him, and he tried to shake off the effects and recover quickly from his vulnerable position. 

As Mule stood on rubbery legs, Gary moved so he was standing right in front of the Mule. Gary flashed a bright smile at Mule, and then faster than Mule could react Gary gave a huge back hand slap with his left hand.  BAMMMMMMMMMM !!!   it sounded like a cannon shot.  Gary almost knocked Mule's big handsome head off his shoulders with that slap. Mule's brain rattled around inside his skull, as his dropped to all fours, moaning.  Mule felt like he had been hit by the entire offensive line.  Everything was spinning, he couldn't focus his eyes, he felt like he was going to puke and was seeing lights flashing.  From his football playing days, Mule recognized the symptoms of a concussion. "What a fucking slap,"  Mule marveled as he remained on all fours.  "This Preacher is a fucking stud...."

"I call that my 'God-Smack', Mule.  I think you see now why you have no chance against me..."  Gary was saying, towering above him.  Was that a trace of cockiness Mule heard in Gary's smooth tones?

"I think you see now that you have no chance against me..." 

Before Mule could get his bearings,  the Preacher-man grabbed Mule by the neck and crotch,  and hoisted his dazed opponent up, stretching his muscled body across the Preacher-man’s broad shoulders, in a further demonstration of the strength he possessed. The brawny strongman was tossing the 260 lbs Mule around like he was a sack of feathers. Mule was still  out of it as the Preacher-man held him in his rack, waiting for Mule's head to clear so that he could appreciate the peril he was in. 


Just as the Mule was was coming around Preacher-man  pushed Mule's body up from his shoulders and slammed the small of Mule's back across his outstretched knee. Mule cried out when he landed on the Preacher-man's knee. Gary's over-the-knee back breaker was devastating.   Sweat from Mule’s body and spit from his gaping mouth flew into the air from the impact. The Preacher-man held Mule across his knee for a few long seconds, letting the Mule’s spine bend farther and farther backward, as Mule groaned in pain, before rolling him off.  

Mule had been ragdolled.  This Bible quoting smooth talker just proved he is all-man with perhaps a bit of divine inspiration...or intervention. 

Mule was spread out prone on the sand as his big body was racked with pain from the back breaker.  While still laid out,  his opponent towered over him.  Gary lifted his big bare foot, and with all the power of his huge bodybuilder leg, he stomped down on the big bulge in Mule's speedo, grinding the Mule's nuts into his pubic bone.

Gary stomps the Mule's nuts 

Fuck...that didn't seem like a very Christian thing to do...

Mule let out a bellow like a bull being castrated

Mule let out a bellow like a bull being castrated, as he clutched his nuts with both hands.  "Fuck..  that didn't seem like a very Christian thing to do..." Mule thought as the pain shooting out of his squashed testicles replaced the pain in his back. "Gary might be a bible quoting Sunday School teacher, but he sure ain't no wimp...he's a top tier muscle stud and he is kicking my fucking ass...."

Gary was standing back, Mule could hear him  saying  "For You have girded me with strength for battle; You have subdued under me those who rose up against me." looking up to the sky.

"Yeah, that's right, good time to say a prayer,  Bible Bro. Take your time.  While you are busy Bible bloviating, I am getting some wind back in me and planning a reversal," Mule thinks. 


Mule picked himself up slowly, struggling to take stock of his predicament.  Just as the Preacher-man turned around to face him, Mule did a leg sweep of the mighty evangelist.  The attack surprised the  Preacher-man. He tripped, fell, and face planted into the sand. Mule's back  and balls ached as he pushed through the pain and landed on top of the Preacher-man's back. He moved into position, crouching on top of the Preacher-man's lower back. He got a strong grip on the Preacher-man's biceps and pulled them up to lock them across his knees. Slowly and methodically, he pulled the Preacher-man's head back by his chin. Catching his breath and recuperating from the Preacher-man’s attack, Mule leaned backward, sitting low in the camel clutch. 

Mule locks the Scripture Spouter in a Camel Clutch

Mule leaned low into the Camel Clutch as did his posers

Mule gave it every ounce of strength he had left, building up the pressure against the Preacher-man's neck and back. the Preacher-man wiggled his body and grunted underneath him, flexing his muscles defensively against the heathen's camel clutch. 

Mule built up the pressure against the Preacher-man's
 neck and back

Gary wiggled his body and grunted underneath him, flexing
 his muscles defensively against the heathen's camel clutch

The near fall hold went on for another minute. the Preacher-man struggled to pry himself free from the Mule's hold. Slowly, the Preacher-man began to overpower the Mule. Gary was showing just how great his strength was.  Mule's arms began shaking as his muscles strained against the superior power of the born again muscle man. Before long the Preacher-man swung his body from side to side. Abruptly he managed to throw the Mule off balance. They toppled to the side, and the Preacher-man deftly landed between his opponent’s legs. He slammed a barrage of sharp elbow blows into Mule's ribs before landing a a cracking slap across his dazed opponent's  face.  Mule lay stunned on the ground, pulling his knees upward instinctively and clutching defensively at his face. the Preacher-man climbed up his opponent’s body, coming to rest straddling his opponent’s torso, as he checked the damage he had just inflicted. 

Gary put an end to Mule's explosive spouting of expletives
 with a choke hold

Mule struggled desperately as his oxygen supply was cut off

But muscles need oxygen to work, and basic Science was
 working against your Mule

Mule's exertions weakened and he began to hallucinate
 Gary high fiving Jesus

Looks like Mule is tuckered, and ready for a big ol' nap!

Mule's face pulsed with pain

As the Mule's face pulsed with pain the Mule’s hands were clutching at his face, so he didn't see his opponent take aim and drop his right knee squarely across Mule’s throat. A wave of shock convulsed down the length of the Mule’s body.  Mule rolled about on the ground choking and holding his throat as Gary towered above him, watching smugly.  Reverend Muscles was dominating the Mule! Talk about a holy smiting...this shit was BIBLICAL.

Mule struggled to suck down air through his damaged windpipe. The Herculean Holy Roller pried Mule’s head off the ground with a handful of hair and slid his right leg underneath his opponent's neck. The Preacher-man carefully positioned his left leg across Mule’s throat. Simultaneously, he twisted Mule’s head to the side, shoving the Mule’s mouth into the Preacher-man's speedo covered balls, while he laced his ankles together and squeezed his legs around Mule’s thick neck like a vise. 

Gary maneuvers Mule into a scissor hold

I call this the SCISSORS OF SALVATION,
and there is no escape, Mule!

Gary squeezes Mule's bull neck like a vise

The Buff Bible-Beater lifted himself up to one hand to examine his opponent's predicament. Mule writhed, lifting his hips and dropping them to the ground again in a panic. His carotid artery was slowly being pressed closed as he loudly struggled to suck air into his lungs from the musky location where his face was trapped. Preacher-man sat up and flexed his biceps, displaying both his strength and mastery of his opponent as the used his triangle leg scissors to choke out the Mule . "The Lord gave me this body and the strength of Samson for a reason, Mule. It is to bring big bodybuilders like you-- who have strayed-- back to Jesus...but to do that, I have to beat the pride out of you...".

Gary props himself up, flexing his muscles

Mule is caught in the leg scissors of the Evangelstud,
 the back of his head pressed by Gary's prodigious
 THIRD LEG.

Mule, are you familiar with the Psalm: When My Heart is
 Overwhelmed Lead Me to the Rock that is Higher?

"Fuck, don't this crazy bible-humper ever shut up..." Mule thought.

Both wrestlers bodies were slick with sweat. When the Preacher-man drove a sharp jab into Mule’s big, left pec, the punch made a wet slapping sound. Mule’s hips continued to buck, and his legs flailed desperately as he fought to slip free from the dangerous scissors hold. As the Preacher-man increased pressure across his throat and landed a few more gratuitous punches to the Mule's chest, Mule slowly began to struggle less fiercely. He was beginning to black out from lack of oxygen, fighting every second of the way to maintain his hold on consciousness. 


As Mule grew still,  the Preacher-man released his scissors.  Gary had choked the Mule out cold!  The Mule had been out muscled and out wrestled, and knocked the fuck out to boot.    Gary yanked his limp opponent's head off the ground by his hair. Preacher-man smiled broadly  at Mule’s behemoth bodybuilder body, laid out unconscious in total defeat.  Gary used his free hand to do a count out to ten on the sandy ground above Mule's head.  


 With his left hand holding Mule’s head up by a handful of hair, the Preacher-man landed another cracking slap across his opponent's dazed face, this time to revive the unconscious Mule. 

The Deadly Deacon revives the unconscious Mule...

Slapping the Mule to awaken him

Nap time over, Mule....I choked your big butt out cold

Mule’s eyes snapped open wide

  Mule’s eyes suddenly snapped open wide as he breathed a wheezing, desperate gulp of air into his burning lungs. Preacher-man held on to Mule's hair firmly as the Mule gasped, coming around from the vice like grip which choked him out moments earlier.  Mule's big chest and rippling abs heaved as his body worked to fill his lungs with much needed air into his burning lungs.  His nose was still filled with  the musky scent of the Preacher-man's balls that he wasn't able to shake off. 

"Nap time over, Mule....Yeah, that's right...I choked your big butt out cold.  I won by  a 10 count. But that's too easy.  I need to bend you to the will of the Lord.  So we're not done yet, Mule....."  The Preacher-man said as he dragged the dazed Mule up to his feet by his hair. Abruptly, he let go of his opponent's hair, leaving Mule standing wobbly in the middle of the clearing. He  walked around the dazed man, who was still trying to recover. The Preacher-man examined Mule's soaking wet muscles up and down, closely studying his opponent's gasping body. He had never beheld such a beautiful specimen in such proximity before, and the powerful and alluring scent of sweat and testosterone was tickling Gary's olfactories and he had to struggle to maintain his focus.  Mule also was still trying to focus his eyes completely when he felt a sharp kick to the back of his calf, knocking him down to his knees. 


As Mule knelt involuntarily, Gary moved back in front of the Mule, towering over his subjugated opponent.  Gary had broken the Mule physically, but he still needed to break the Mule mentally to complete his conquest.  

Gary had dominated the Mule physically...

...but he still needed to break the Mule mentally 

Gary looked down at Mule's hard cock, and guffawed at Mule's bulging speedos .  "Looks like your enjoying this Mule. I recognize the seeds of impure thoughts. Wrestling can lead to carnal temptations if one is not  open to the Lord.  Without the grace of Jesus, Satan's temptations will prevail.  This is why getting your butt kicked is giving you an erection, Mule! Satan's Last Temptation before you come home to Jesus. You got what Counselor Everett used to call a mighty pole flying Satan's flag... triggered by my big muscles overpowering yours?"

"Or is viewing THIS what is tempting you down the path of the unrighteous, Mule?"  Gary asked in a low, seductive voice....as Gary started posing. 

"You like my body, Mule? This temple of God's power? Made in God's image..."  He raised his arms out to his sides in a slow, powerful arc, eventually planting his hands behind his neck. Gary was a master poser.  He slowly exhaled and the skin covering his abs dissolved into nothing, leaving only two columns of river rock, each individual stone a masterwork of perfection. The muscles bulged and bunched against each other, then as Gary  slowly twisted his hips, they expanded and rolled. He watched Mule and raised his eyebrows in a smile. Slowly, almost painfully, he lowered his arms. 

"Shiiiiit," Mule whispered. 

"You  see the flesh, and you like and covet, huh dude?  But you must see past the flesh to the spirit behind it, my lost friend." Gary said smugly. 

Gary turned so that his thick, hairy, and heavily muscled chest faced Mule. Gary danced his huge pecs in front of Mule's eyes and they moved in waves, like two stingrays gliding over the ocean floor. 

Gary spoke softly. "I see your covetousness, dude. You want me so bad.  Only Jesus can fortify you against such temptation." 

Gary hit a double biceps shot, and Mule froze as he gazed up at arms that looked like they could flatten solid steel. They peaked, yet he tightened them more and they grew more. A network of veins fed the muscle fibers which danced under the skin, lumping into incredible, individual heads of rock hard muscle. 

Gary continued posing, moving his hands up and behind his head once again. Gary bucked his hips forward and exhaled, flexing his abs until they popped. 

Gary brought his arms down, turned to the side just a bit, grasped one wrist with the other hand and tucked them under his huge pecs in a side-chest pose. The meat of his pecs hardened into two gargantuan slabs of striated beef, quivering with power. 

Gary faced forward and put his hands on his hips. He moved one leg slightly in front of the other and flexed it. 

"Holy SHIT!" Mule said. Gary's leg was beyond human. Ropes of muscles hardened into deeply cut valleys and peaks of muscle, rippling and alternately hardening into solid mounds. His leg size was off the scale.

Gary grinned at the Mule.

Gary was an image of more manhood than the Mule could handle. Gary was hot as fuck and being dominated had made Mule's dick painfully hard till it was throbbing and leaking fuck juice.  The big purple knob of Mule's cock was now sticking out the top of Mule's speedo like a periscope, as Mule's rock hard donger tried to see what was going on.  

"I am sorry that you really have it bad for me. As you can see, I am 100% all manly man...." Gary laughed.  "You are thinking like a sodomite, and such thoughts are an abomination unto the Lord.  But I'm here to bring you back to Jesus, Mule.  Prepare to be brought under HIS domination and control.  I am an agent of the Holy Spirit, here to conquer you and make you subservient and obedient, you will first be humbled before me, and then before the Lord." 

The Preacher-man dropped down behind the still kneeling Mule. He wrapped his massive left arm around Mule's throat and flexed, applying pressure across his windpipe. Mule let out a grunt as  he pried at the Preacher-man's huge arm frantically. Sweat poured in thick streaks down his sculpted torso like a waterfall as the Preacher-man worked on him. 

"Deuteronomy 20 tells us: When you are approaching the battle against your enemies... Do not be fainthearted. Do not be afraid, or panic, or tremble before them, for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you, to fight for you against your enemies, to save you."  Gary whispered into the struggling Mule's ear. 

The Preacher-man released his hold, and at the same time roughly threw the Mule so that he was laid out flat with his back on the ground. "So much for your resistance to salvation..." Gary said. "I could have put you out again with that sleeper.  But that would have been too easy. I need you to admit I am the best." 

"I need you to admit I am the best!"

 Mule had little strength to resist as Gary positioned him so that the Mule was laid on wide on the sand.  Before the Mule recognized the danger, with surprising athleticism Gary bounced upward, kicking his legs backward. Gary  hovered horizontal to the ground for just a moment before splashing down, belly to belly across his opponent. 

The air came rushing out of Mule's lungs. His body spiked as the Preacher-man bounced off. The Mule's legs levitated off the mat as he clutched reflexively at his stomach. The Preacher-man quickly climbed back to his feet and repeated the maneuver, lifting his feet high and crashing down, belly to belly across his battered opponent. Mule would have cried out in pain if he had any air left in his lungs. Mule was on the verge of submitting.  

"One more splash will finish him, I have beaten the arrogance out of him, I have broken his will and his body...." Gary thought.  "Another bodybuilder for the flock...and the biggest and most beautiful one yet".  Gary's huge rock hard cock throbbed from the excitement of having beaten and dominated this big, nearly naked muscleman.  Gary struggled not to relapse, he had not spent five summers in a Christian Gay Conversion Camp as a teen and endured the torments there for naught! Gary struggled  to suppress the feelings he had fought with since he flipped through his first bodybuilder magazine at age 11. He fixed his mind on Jesus, and positioned himself carefully, looking down at the huge body laid out before him, gauging his trajectory. Gritting his teeth, he kicked his feet upward with the grace and skill of an Olympic diver, and dropped belly to belly from eight feet in the air.

However, this time Mule managed to summon the energy to pull his knees up to this chest. the Preacher-man's body landed awkwardly across his opponent's shins. Mule's legs absorbed most the Preacher-man's momentum, leaving him relatively unscathed. The Preacher-man, however, bounced backward and landed on his ass, clutching his stomach and shocked to find the air knocked out of his lungs. The Preacher-man sat, completely stunned, choking for air and feeling suddenly vulnerable.  "What had I  done to offend the Lord, why had He forsaken me...was it my impure thoughts?" Gary thought as he slowly climbed to his hands and knees.

Seeing the Preacher-man stunned like this, Mule saw opportunity staring him in the face.  Unfortunately Mule had nothing left in his gas tank to get to his feet in order to capitalize on the moment.  So opportunity  began to consider knocking elsewhere...

The Mule had finally found some room to breathe. He was exhausted from the working over by Gary.  Mule's muscles ached from head to toe as a result of the Preacher-man’s methodical destruction.    Mule could barely pull himself up to his knees from the beating he had taken from Gary.   For a Sunday school teacher, Gary was one hell of a man, Mule had to admit. 

Mule looked over and saw the Brawny Preacher  still sitting on his ass, winded from the miscalculated splash. Without hesitation, Mule leap forward and rammed his shoulder into the Preacher-man's face. The move was sluggish but effectively snapped the Preacher-man's head back and kept him on his ass. Mule slowly crawled behind his opponent. 

Mule didn't have much time to think through his next moves. He had to end this as soon as possible.  Gary was too strong.  If he let Gary get a second wind, Mule might not survive another round. He pulled the Preacher-man up  from behind.  He then slipped his left arm across the Preacher-man's throat, while pressing his right arm against the back of the Preacher-man's head for support.The Preacher-man started to come around when he felt Mule's arm sinking into his throat. 

"Where's your God now, big man..." Mule whispered into the Preacher-man's ear.  Gary pulled at Mule's Popeye sized forearm as Mule applied the choke hold. 

Mule's taunt gave the Preacher-man renewed resolve as he regained his strength. He released his grip on Mule's arm and threw a series of elbows jabs into the Mule's gut. Mule was shocked by the strength of the Preacher-man’s blows. After five sharp groan eliciting  strikes, Mule lost his focus and inadvertently loosened his hold on the Preacher-man's neck. 

Mule takes a vicious elbow strike from Gary

Mule eats one powerful elbow after another

Gary's powerful elbow strikes are landing on Mule with surgical precision 

Gary is taking the Mule apart with his devastating Krav Maga
elbow strikes 

Five unanswered elbows from Gary leave Mule stunned 

The Preacher-man immediately grabbed hold of Mule's wrists and pried them straight to the side. Mule grunted as he felt the twist on his arms. Before he realized what happened, his face was met with the back of the Preacher-man's head. The headbutt sent Mule falling backward to his ass.


The Preacher-man climbed to his feet slowly, massaging his neck. After a brief moment to recover, he flexed a double bi pose and began to stretch his arms and shoulders. Turning around with his hands on his hips, he examined the sorry state of his fading opponent. 

"I've been too easy on you Mule. I'm afraid I am going to have to up the punishment.  It pains my heart to do it, but I'm going to have to really make you suffer now.  Think of it as "tough love"  Gary says in a calm, almost apologetic voice.

This is for your own good Mule, no pain, no gain,
 and what you're gaining is Salvation!

Damn holy roller sure loves to gloat, thought Mule

A little pain to remind you of Jesus' suffering
 for your Redemption.

If Jeebus droned on and on, like this fucker,
 no wonder they nailed his ass to a cross, thought Mule

Gary was 'racking' Mule like the Pastor
was the Spanish Inquisition

Mule was in a world of hurt, an ungodly amount of pain!

Now, Imagine an ETERNITY of such pain!
and Mule imagined an eternity of Gary yakking away!

As your body submits to my muscles,
let your mind submit to the Holy Spirit...

I would like to submit your face to my fist! --thought Mule

I call this particular number, the corkscrew, on Wednesdays we
 have MMA Bible study, we combine scriptural lessons with
 the discipline of martial arts....

So you see, our mission is perfect for a guy like you Mule,
 with the added benefit of ETERNAL SALVATION!

Sweet Jesus, thought Mule, is listening to Gary's babble, karma
 for not listening to the chatter of Chicas?

It was irritating to Mule  that Gary could be so desirable
 and yet at the same time so annoying!

You sure are stubborn, no wonder your nickname is MULE!

Time to wrap this conversion session up!

Gary went on the attack, targeting the Mule's knee. With a series of wrestling holds, Gary seemed intent on tearing the Mule's knee apart.  The Mule screamed as he felt the ligaments and tendons in his knee being ripped and popping like rubber bands.  Mule was in agony.  Good thing he still had his knee brace from the injuries in his football playing days back home.  He would be needing it as he walked with a limp for the next week or two.   After hearing one last satisfying loud "POP!!!" from the knee joint, Gary finally released his hold.  Mule continued to roll on the ground, holding his knee and screaming in pain.  

Gary finally released his hold

Mule continued to roll on the ground...

...holding his knee and screaming in pain

Despite his protestations to the contrary, Gary had secretly enjoyed the pain he had inflicted on the beautifully muscled body of the Mule.  He relished the sight of the muscleman writhing in pain on the ground holding his damaged knee.  The alpha male muscle stud had to work hard not to gloat over the thoroughly wrecked Mule.  

Gary was now satisfied that the Mule was defeated.  Gary walked over to the injured Mule and crouched down in front of him. Grabbing Mule by the nape of his neck, he stared into his face. Mule looked done.  He held the Mule's chin in his left hand and said "Church Services are Sunday at 10 am.  The address is on the pamphlet. " 

"Fuck you!" The blonde muscleman retorted.

"Language, such language, Mule. I'm not the one that is getting screwed," he said, unable to utter the F word aloud. Gary's lips curled into a smile that was ANYTHING, but angelic.  But the thought of fucking Mule was suddenly front and center in Gary's thoughts.  Even reciting Hebrews 2:18 and thinking about the Lake of Fire as they taught him at Gay Conversion Camp didn't help this time.  Satan had him by the balls, as Counselor Everett used to say when he attached the electrodes... Gary stroked the palms of his hands slowly across his opponent's swole sweat-soaked pecs and down Mule's  rippled abdomen. The Preacher-man  bit his lower lip in concentration as his hands slid wetly up and down his beautiful blond opponent's sexy, sweaty  heavily muscled torso, so masculinely aromitized and utterly mind-blowingly arousing. The Preacher-man's blue trunks tented as his cock swelled at the thought of continuing to punish and dominating the Mule's body.

The Preacher-man climbed to his feet and stood, facing his fallen opponent, lacing his hands behind his head and flexing his eight-pack rippling abs. Gary's big cock was unmistakably hard, straining the fabric of his speedo.  Gary's cock had gone into warrior mode.  With no hint of modesty and in full view of the Mule, Gary slid his right hand down the front of his trunks and adjusted the position of his huge cock. The outline of his dick was fully visible in his bulging speedo.  Father Gary was hung like a fucking horse.  

Preacher-man faces his fallen opponent 

Gary's big cock was unmistakably hard

Gary's cock had gone into warrior mode

With no hint of modesty and in full view of the Mule
  Rev. Gary reaches down the front of his speedos...

The Reverend adjusts the goods....

The Musclestud Man of God is hung
 like a fucking horse!

"Get up, Mule... so I can drop you again...this time I will make you crawl before me and beg me for mercy...you will worship me..I mean HIM as your master....".  Gary's tone had changed.  His voice sounded hungry, instead of calm.  He was snarling like he was feverishly famished, as if he had been starving himself for a long time.  And he didn't quote any bible verses this time.  Somehow that "glow" he seemed to have earlier was gone, replaced by a darkness. I got this strange feeling--as if the crew of angels that had been helping him kick my ass-- had now fled elsewhere.

I slowly got to my feet.  I stretched and flexed my battered pecs and abs. I shook out my injured leg.   Gary was watching me close but was giving me all the time I needed to recover.  I made sure Gary got an eyeful of me slipping my hand down my speedo, adjusting my own hard cock and battered balls.  

Gary had beaten the shit out of me.  This Muscle Stud was one strong and tough motherfuker.   If it wasn't for the fact that I couldn't stand the thought of having to listen to him spewing his godspeak  for four fucking Sundays I would have given up before now.  I had to dig down deep to find the balls to continue. 

“OK, man. Let's go again." Mule growled. "I believe in an eye for an eye. I believe you should get, some of what you gave me, back. You’re a big guy and you gave me an ass kicking just now. But I think the Lord's been called away on other business, and It’s just you and me here now, Gary.”   Mule held his huge arms out to the sides, beckoning with his fingers.    “Come on, stud, let’s see what you got when it's just one on one.”

There was a tense silence.   Then suddenly with lightning speed Gary raised his leg high and landed a heavy karate kick to Mule’s shoulder. 

Mule shot out his arm and just managed to grab Gary’s ankle, wrenching it and pulling him off balance.   Mule moved toward him, but Gary’s reflexes were fast. He lifted his huge leg and crashed his hard knee into Mule’s gut, making Mule howl as he doubled up in pain with spit and air flying out his mouth.   

Gary with a knee to the Mule's gut
OOOOFFF!!!!!

Gary crashed his fist against the Mule's face

then a kick to Mule's nuts....
UUUNNNNGGG!!!!!

 Gary was on Mule in a second.   He crashed his brick hard  fist against the Mule's face, first one side, then the other, again and again.   


Mule retaliated by smashing his ham sized fist into Gary’s jaw.   The stunned muscle stud shook off the punch and kicked Mule in the balls. Mule grunted like an injured ape,  doubled up, clutching his balls, groaning.  Gary was ready with another vicious knee into Mule’s stomach, causing a howl of agony.

Another vicious knee into Mule’s stomach
OOOOFFF!!!!!

Gary held a helpless Mule by his chin and punished him with 
repeated knee strikes to the gut
OOOOFFF!!!!!OOOOFFF!!!!!UUUNNNNGGG!!!!!

You are nothing against me... Gary sneered 

In a dazed blur Mule looked up and saw the handsome, triumphant face of the man towering over him. “You see, big guy, you are nothing against me,” he sneered.    “Sure, you’re a big, tough bodybuilder, but I am better. I DON'T NEED THE LORD'S HELP TO KICK YOUR FUCKING  ASS, MOTHERFUCKER...I WILL MAKE YOU SUCK MY BIG HAIRY NUTS AND THEN FUCK YOUR FUCKING ASS WITH MY BIG FUCKING DICK YOU MOTHER FUCKING MOTHERFUCKER..." Gary screamed like he had Tourettes, spraying spittle and turning red in the face, forgetting himself in his raging lust and anger, and using profanity. It was evident that Gary was terrible at slinging out the cuss words, not being as practiced as Mule at lobbing percussion grenades of expletives and dropping F-bombs.

"Well, I ain't been to Sunday school in a long time, but that is clearly not Sunday-go-to-meeting language, and that all sure sounded like the Sin of Hubris and the Sin of Lust to me.  In fact, God just revealed to me that your Penance is three Hail Mary's and a major ass kicking...." the Mule preached on, like a Priest fired up by the sight of an attractive altar boy.

Mule heard the trumpet blow and the angels sing, and was no longer aware of his throbbing balls and aching stomach.   With the bellow of an injured bull he leaped to his feet and clamped his big arms around Gary’s  head and throat.   Gary flailed wildly, punching Mule in the ribs, the stomach, trying to land a kick to his legs.  But Mule felt nothing, it looked like the Lord was cheering for the other team now.

Mule clamped his big arms around Gary’s  head and throat

Mule felt Gary weaken

Mule felt Gary weaken, his blows becoming  feeble.   Mule released his grip.   Mule pulled Gary up by one hand so they were face to face, and then Mule head butted him. 

With one hand Mule held Gary by the hair and smashed his other fist into his stomach.  The gut punching was brutal and Gary howled in pain as he flexed his rock hard stomach muscles against the rain of blows.

Between heaving breaths Mule taunted him.    “Not so big are you now, asshole, now that you don't got the Lord on your side?    You mother-fucking son-of-a-bitch.     Let’s see how much more you can take.”

As Gary's legs began to buckle he started to beg in a rasping voice.   “OK, man ….. you’ve won.   I’m finished.   Please ….. I’ve had enough.   No more …… please. I submit.    You’ve beaten me.”

“You bet your life I have, asshole,” Mule growled.      He hauled back and swung one last brutal fist across Gary’s face.   His head flew sideways, his massive body hovered in mid-air before he crashed to the ground senseless.  Mule had won!

Mule had won!

His body heaving Mule stood astride the crumpled muscled body of the now unconscious strong man preacher . "Thank you Jesus" Mule said under his breath, as he fell to his knees, exhausted. 

 "Thank you Jesus"

****************************************************

The Mule had carried the unconscious Gary over his shoulder and back down to the beach.  When Gary came back to his senses he realized he was sitting in the cabana bar, with a fancy rum drink with an umbrella in it in front of him.   Across from him at the same table was Mule, drinking a beer.  

"You finally back with me, Dude?  You've been mumbling Bible shit for the last five minutes.  I got you a drink, I figured you needed it..." Mule said.  At first Gary protested about how he didn't drink alcohol,  my body is a temple to the Lord , that sort of shit, but Mule noted that:  Even Jesus turned water into wine, and given that poor Gary had just been shaken not stirred by the Mule, pretty soon he was sipping on his drink.

"So where did you learn to fight, Gary?  You sure as fuck didn't learn those moves in Preacher  school...for a Man of God, you can kick some serious ass...."  Mule said, and the two macho, alpha males, both proud of their masculine prowess, soon engaged in a convo about fighting and lifting. 

It was their masculine pride, the very testosterone flowing through their veins, that finally resulted in the challenge by Gary.

"Give me one more shot at helping you find redemption, Mule.   Same deal as before.  You attend my Church for the next four Sundays in a row...But this time  I’ll arm-wrestle  you for it,” Gary said.   “That is, if you’re man enough to put your guns up against mine.”  Gary rolled his eyes up to Heaven and gave a little wink to the Big Guy.

“Shit, man, I could take you in a heartbeat, slam your knuckles to the table so fast your fucking head would spin.” Mule was quick to respond.

“You’re on,” said Gary .   They were already sitting at a small table set with two chairs facing each other.  Gary placed his elbow on the table, forearm up, and stared at Mule.   The Mule sat facing Gary.   Mule put his  elbow on the table and raised his forearm. The two big biceped jocks locked hands in classic arm-wrestling pose.

“I’ve never lost at arm-wrestling,” Gary said in a low, serious voice.   “I have always had the Angels on my side.”

“Fuck you, asshole,” said Mule.   “ Yeah, yeah....I heard that same shit from you before.  And I still kicked your ass. And now I'm gonna make it two in a row.”

"That's 'Father Asshole' if you don't mind," a confident Gary replied with a good-natured smile. 

Their male testosterone was ruling both of the musclemen.  

Gary bowed his head for a moment, with his eyes closed.  "Forgive me Lord, for my trespasses and hubris and help me to bring Mule to Jesus" he prayed silently. 
   
They took a deep breath, flexed their biceps …. and the fight was on.   Nothing moved.   Their eyes bored into each other, their arms strained, veins standing out …… but nothing moved.   Their great strength was equal, their determination implacable.     It was a standoff, two stallions flaring their nostrils.   
  
Seconds became minutes and sweat started to pour down their faces and bodies.   Their breathing became labored and their eyes penetrated each other with looks of defiance and intimidation.   Their shoulders, biceps bulged with exertion.   Suddenly, slightly, one man gained the upper hand and pushed the other arm back slightly.  But immediately the other retaliated and the stalemate continued.

It seemed like an eternity, but finally each man felt his strength ebbing.   It was only a matter of time.     Then it happened.   One of them found a reserve of strength from deep within and with a howl of triumph forced the others man’s hand flat on the table.

It was over.   The two huge muscle studs stared at each other, one in triumph, the other in defeat.


The winner smiled.    “You lost, man…….”

******************************************************

Fast forward to the following Sunday, and we find Mule ushering at the "POWER OF CHRIST"  Church and Gym.  Reverend Gary is giving his sermon while Mule is scoping out the hot chicks.  Everyone is dressed in Sunday finery but gym bags are waiting nearby. Mule has his knee brace on under his suit thanks to Gary having nearly dislocating his knee. Fortunately, Mule had seen Dr. Boublik and was advised his knee was just sprained  and it was not a torn ACL, so he should be fine in a week or two.   Mule looked around the sparsely populated Chapel.   Not a lot of folks here, but Mule is already thinking about some of his meathead gym buddies that would be great candidates for Gary's unique Wrestling for Jesus Outreach Program.

Gary's not half bad at the whole preachifying thing

"Gary sure cleans up nice,"  Mule thought.   Looks a lot different than the greasy, sweaty muscle hulk  that he was rolling around on the sand with in a no holds barred fight just a few days earlier.

But Mule did find his mind starting to drift a few minutes into the Sermon

 The chapel is set in part of the gym, and just outside the Chapel area  is a really well equipped gym that Mule is anxious to try out.  This really is a cool place.  He is actually glad he decided to check it out.   Gary's not half bad at the whole preachifying thing, and what other Church serves a sip of a pre-workout blend and chewable vitamins as part of their communion! But Mule did find his mind starting to drift a few minutes into the Sermon.... 

(Beach Preach II is coming next week!) 

Working out and attending church at the same time!  This is the best thing since the internet.

Check Out Part Two: Mule Finds Religion



    

Read about the guys who inspired Gary's ministry:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Power_Team

http://www.theconquerors.net/about_team.php

http://www.faithforce.com/aboutFaithForce.php

and check out what Gary endured in camp: