Friday, January 5, 2018

Musings from Valhalla: Mailbag #3






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If you haven't already done so, for more FAQ info.

How come you don't have any tattoos?
If you had a Ferrari, would you put bumper stickers on it?




When is your birthday?
Every day is Mule Day!




I keep complaining about [fill in], but you never seem to listen, why is that? 
 I listen to all my viewers requests and complaints but listening is not the same as accommodating them all, I do things my own way and in my own time. The name is MULE for a number of reasons!






Why don't you have any stories about [insert ethnic group here]?
Send them over to Boulder, Colorado and I will fight 'em and/or fuck 'em and then there will be!




Have you ever had sex with anyone famous?
Does fucking a girl who thinks she was a princess from ancient Atlantis count? What about if she is a “star child” from the Pleiades star in Orion’s Belt?  'Cause I’ve had both.  Also for those keeping score at home, my "celebrity fucks" also include: Girl with 500k instagram followers, various NFL Cheerleaders, Extra from Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century, and a VERY hot Cougar, who had her nudes in playboy!


They start as Zenonian girls and grow up into Terrestrial
sloots!


Give us an M, Give us a U, give us a L, give us an E,
give us a C and an O and a C and K, what does it all spell?

I am an Atlantean Princess, why won't you return my calls?
  I gave you my royal treasure!

You know Mule, we women from Orion are said to be irresistible
 to human males...



Why don't we have more stories about you being humiliated, destroyed, dismembered, killed and/or eaten?
You know the old adage, that you are the hero of your own story...well these are MY stories, and I am the hero damn it! Now, I have the humility to acknowledge that in the game of life, I don't always win, but I mostly win, because I am a WINNER, so you will just have to get used to that.


Why are there so many stories about you?
I will have to use the same basic answer as I used to the last question.  This is called the MULESBLOG for a reason, these are my stories, and I AM THE HERO!



Why aren't there MORE stories about you?
Variety is the very spice of life, that gives it all it's flavor.  A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds. Most of the stories ARE about ME, or thinly disguised legendary or literary versions of ME, but I do like to throw in some tales of my buddies for spice and to keep things INTERESTING. 





I have a rather large collection of  Mulesblog character fan-fiction stories that I think you might be interested in. Would you like to see them?

Much as I would simply love to paw through hundreds of such tales, there is so much to do, and so many sloots that require my attention.  The life of your Mule is not an easy one, and not for the fainthearted, but someone has to live this larger than life, superhero existence so as you all have exciting tales to read about and fap to!




How come you don't post very recent pictures of yourself? 
Some have speculated that I have become Jabba the hut in my proportions, others realize that I am no longer a student, and have a professional reputation and responsibilities, but the real reason is I have grown so amazingly beautiful that you would require a special visor or risk madness.




You write about how intensely you build your body, but what efforts do you make to build your mind?  
Well, long-time readers will know I was edumucated at Duke and Georgetown, two very prestigious indigestions of higher lurnin'. But the Internet exists as a vast digital compendium of the sum of all human knowledge, so naturally I use it mainly for porn! 





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