A TALE OF MAYHEM AND MISCHIEF FROM MULE'S MISCREANT PAST!
Pickwick club runs the Comus parade, which is a huge night time parade (the last Mardi Gras parade).
Mardi Gras was essentially a Catholic holiday, when the largely Protestant snooty elite of the city decided to get in on the action in 1856. This resulted in the Camus parade and following the parade there are huge balls, one hosted by the Pickwick Club, which as I mentioned in Mule v. the Male Fitness Model, I am a legacy member. Now this ball is much fancier than what most of you are used to, not just Tuxes you wear "tails" and black masks!
Now a lot of float riders from the club are pretty old, I am talking real dinosaurs here, and even the ones that aren't, are really drunk since they started drinking at Antoine's at lunch and the parade and ball are all at night!
Now while you have to get out of your suit you wore at Antoine's and into your costume by yourself, because everybody makes their own way to where the floats are already lined up, after the Parade you get help doing so. (I guess most of the senior members of the club have servants at home, so probably still don't dress themselves) So, anyways, after the parade, they have dressers to help you change out of your costume that you wore on the float into your tails for the ball. Now the dressers are all like really old black dudes that look like they were plucked out of the Old South...
After the parade, the dressers are waiting for you at the auditorium to help you get out of your costume and into your tails, thankfully they got showers in case your grimy from riding in the parade and drinking since noon. There is unfortunately, the grisly yet oddly amusing sight of wrinkly old men naked with "Negroes" with towels following them, it is definitely something out of Bygone Era. It is sort of like a NEW ORLEANS style version of one of those old British melodramas about Edwardian times. It was both creepy and fascinating.
Now a lot of float riders from the club are pretty old, I am talking real dinosaurs here, and even the ones that aren't, are really drunk since they started drinking at Antoine's at lunch and the parade and ball are all at night!
Now I only rode in the Parade once as part of the Mistick Krewe of Comus, and the reasons why I received an ignominious lifetime banning from the Comus Parade and Ball, will be explained later in this story!
One of the weirdest things I've ever seen they actually dress you top to bottom, I kid you not, they actually hold your underwear while you step into it. They wear white gloves while they help mostly wrinkly old men with saggy privates step into their skivvies. It felt very surreal stepping into my underwear while a black dude in livery held it for me.
Now I had been drinking quite a lot, even for me, and I wasn't as sure-legged as I might have been. So in my defense as I explain subsequent events...I was REALLY REALLY drunk at the time!
I ran into this really hot chick in her twenties, I am talking HBB 10 material here, and I could see she was really into me and horny as all fuck. We slipped into a room that was currently be used for storage, and we got into it hot and heavy, but sadly she was QUITE the screamer, and could even be heard in the ballroom.
How was I supposed to know that this hot trophy wife was married to one of the geriatric board members of the club, and the wife herself was a member of the prestigious SOCIETY OF MORALLY UPRIGHT AND UPTIGHT LADIES and WOMEN'S COMMITTEE AGAINST MORAL TURPITUDE?
So that is how I got my lifetime ban. I might have also received a lifetime ban from the club, if Ganny, with her powerful connections, had not intervened. As my Ganny later lectured me:
"You may do whatever you like in high society, but you must NEVER, EVER be caught at it! Discretion and hypocrisy are the grease that keeps the motors of this world running smoothly and orderly!"
I still have not properly learned this lesson, but as I rarely go there, my presence is not a constant provocation. I am afraid the attendees at the ball will be gossiping about "the incident" for a long time to come!
and on a side note, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!
I ran into this really hot chick in her twenties, I am talking HBB 10 material here, and I could see she was really into me and horny as all fuck. We slipped into a room that was currently be used for storage, and we got into it hot and heavy, but sadly she was QUITE the screamer, and could even be heard in the ballroom.
How was I supposed to know that this hot trophy wife was married to one of the geriatric board members of the club, and the wife herself was a member of the prestigious SOCIETY OF MORALLY UPRIGHT AND UPTIGHT LADIES and WOMEN'S COMMITTEE AGAINST MORAL TURPITUDE?
So that is how I got my lifetime ban. I might have also received a lifetime ban from the club, if Ganny, with her powerful connections, had not intervened. As my Ganny later lectured me:
"You may do whatever you like in high society, but you must NEVER, EVER be caught at it! Discretion and hypocrisy are the grease that keeps the motors of this world running smoothly and orderly!"
I still have not properly learned this lesson, but as I rarely go there, my presence is not a constant provocation. I am afraid the attendees at the ball will be gossiping about "the incident" for a long time to come!
and on a side note, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!
No comments:
Post a Comment