Musings from Valhalla: Random Mulephorisms

Mulephorism: a pithy often witty observation that contains a general truth, dripping with testosterone, audacity. aplomb, adrenaline, fortitude, and virile sagacity.  These powerful hammers strike hard and fast, but like  Mjölnir, they are not meant to be wielded by mere mortals.  

I got a dong so big

- I got a dong so big, women need an ass to match the figure in this ride before they can ride this ride.

-I  got a dong so big, that having sex with Mule is like practice for pregnancy, plus there is gonna be a lot of screamin', moanin' and heavy breathin' too.

-I got a dong so big,  I'm about to trademark the "one hit dick" KO

-I got a dong so big, I need to warn potential recipients that I can put my dick so far down their throats that my balls might be shattering clavicles! 

At the Gym

-Upper middle class white boy gym gangs:  teenage bodybuilding drama.  

-Cull out the planet fitness types: Men, you must have biceps at least this big to enter this gym--and have a life-sized picture of 19" bis that they can flex against. 

-You feel da need to be all stereotypical jus' cuz you're jealous of my monster liftin' skillz--You baby back biatch!

- Sure, we have similar builds except I'm way bigger.  How 'bout I jus' call you mini-me? 

I'm all that and a bag of chips!

- My shit-talk is so severe, I once knocked a man down on his ass with the slap of my tongue.

- You ain't shit! I wrestled a giraffe to the ground with my bare hands. I've killed a King Kong-sized silverback gorilla with nothing but my elbows and knees! I did all that and THEN ate an entire 8 piece KFC!

-I'm gonna rip your balls off and slap you to death with them!, Then will bang your girlfriend, Momma and both your sisters, jus' so your ghost will cry!

- You call that a hold? My umbilical cord tried doin' that to me, and I managed to roll over into guard and get out though.  I damn sure wasn't tappin' to that weak ass shit-even as a baby I had more skills than you. I'm fuckin' Hercules!