Vignette: Mule and Santa Throw Down!

Twas the night before Christmas when all gyms were closed, not a bodybuilder was lifting and all in repose.  The stockings were hung by the dumbbells with care, in hopes that Santa with supplements soon would be there. The meatheads were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of carbs sweetly danced in their heads.  I in my gym shorts, and in my jersey, this whore, had settled all cozy for a long winters snore.  When out on the lawn there arose  such a clatter, that I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.  Away to the windows, I flew like a flash, pulled up the blinds and opened the hatch.  The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow, gave the luster of mid day to the objects below.  When what to my wondering eyes should appear but a  pimped out sleigh with 8 roided reindeer. With a jacked bearded man in furs, decked out like a pimp, I knew in a moment this was no mere gym chimp!

It was the Christmas of 2013...The days of the jolly old elf were gone, Santa has been into a fitness craze over the last decade or so, probably because of all the supplements. weights, etc. he has been delivering, sampled some himself.  Now Saint Nick was SWOLE!

One more rep, Santa!

Santa sparred with the reindeer in frequent ground
 and pounds!

Now your Mule was spending Christmas Eve over at this new HBB 10's place... I had snapped suddenly awake and gotten up from the bed where I had been dreaming of Santa bringing me a: 7 mm Rem mag Colorado Buck Edition rifle with a carbon fiber Kevlar reinforced caramel brown colored-black spider webbing stock with a 24 inch hand-lapped stainless steel barrel, Cerakoted in tungsten grey and finished off with a muzzle brake... 

♥♥♥SUCH SWEETNESS♥♥♥

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

        

... and gone into the living room.  There I was eating all the cookies-n-creme protein bars left for Santa, and mixing in some protein powder into the milk...when I heard a noise on the roof!

Where them sloots at?

I brought you sloots a BIG PACKAGE again this year!

Next to Halloween, New Years and Valentine's Day, Christmas Eve was one of the PRIME sloot hunting nights of the year...and Santa was definitely on the PROWL...

Santa has brought you some Christmas kielbasa, darlin'!

...and what Mrs. Claus didn't know wouldn't hurt her, and Santa knew where ALL the really naughty ho's were at and it was going to be a night of HO! HO!  and another HO! for that randy elf!

Rebecca was DEFINITELY on
Santa's naughty list!

Santa  popped down the chimney, and then unleashed a snort of derision, seeing that his protein bars had been scoffed down by an interloper!  Still he had to do his jolly followed by a:

"Ho! Ho! Ho!, where's that Ho', Rebecca at!"

To this I replied:

"Hey fairyquins, dat ho' Rebecca is MY ho'--at least for tonight!"

Santa gave me a glower...."Ahhh Mule...definitely on my naughty list AGAIN this year....guess you won't be getting that new rifle you have been hankering for!"

"I am sure there is something in that big sack of yours I might fancy. I will have to take a gander!" I replied with a snarl.

"You will have to go through ME first, cupcake!" Santa said with a grimace.

"NOT a problem!" I snorted.

AND IT WAS ON!

NOT a problem!  I snorted

"Bring it!"  I yelled doing the international hand sign for: COME AT ME BRO

"Consider it brung!" he replied with a hearty and jolly Santa laugh.

Santa brings it!

 Santa opened up with a round house kick to the chest that sent me sprawling into the Christmas tree.  Pretty spry for a guy who has been around for centuries, guess he picked up some Muay Thai shit in his travels!

He followed it up, before I could recover, with a series of devastating punches and kicks that had me seeing stars and my body screaming in pain.  He was laying down some serious Santa Fu!

I was going to have  a raccoon set of black eyes, and some other highly visible bruises and contusions to explain at Christmas Dinner at my  Mom's...AGAIN!

My head was festooned with garlands and tinsel from the tree...I was looking a pretty sorry sight!

But don't despair dear readers, your Mule was not finished, no not by a long shot!

I launched a powerful fist into his groin from my grounded position sending Santa stumbling backwards in pain.  It was a dirty move, granted, but no way was I going to allow my ass to get kicked by no jacked up polar fairy!

Now it was MY turn to shine, unleashing my famous five punch combo on the spry old St. Nick until he was seeing visions of stars and sugar plums dancing about his discombobulated head.

I continued to dominate the rest of the fight even if Santa did get a few impressive licks in.  They must not have a good MMA gym up there on the North Pole, but they must have Internet as he knew a few maneuvers as yet unknown to me.

Still despite what they tell you, youth, exuberance plus big Mule muscles usually beats age and treachery hands down!

Rudolph, remembering the many slights by Santa,
 cheers on Mule!

I got Santa in a reverse head lock with one beefy arm, and used the other arm to swing ham-sized fists into Santa's face until he slumped unconscious.  Then I grabbed his bag went through it  ripping open packages for things I was interested in, through the rest of the crap back in the bag, and tossed Santa and his bag back in his sleigh and told the reindeer to high tail it back to the North Pole.

Let's see what I might like in these!

I sure hope there is a  7 mm Rem mag Colorado Buck Edition
 rifle in here!

Meanwhile Santa was still out cold, the sound of bells still
resonating in his ears...his clock thoroughly cleaned!

Since then, Santa and I have been sparring each Christmas Eve, when he loses, which he invariably does, the bish has to shell out some extra presents for me, despite me being permanently on the naughty list.  

Time for your annual beatdown Santa!

2015 is going to be MY year, I know it...

Isn't that what you said about 2013, and 2014 SC?

Last year he got some pretty good licks in, so I gave him a rigorous ass-raping after I beat him up, just to show Ol' Saint Nick what happens when you dare throw down with Superman!

Each year he goes back and trains with his posse, vowing that things will go differently next time. HA! 

 and this year sent me a threatening Youtube video:

This isn't over Mule, not by a long shot!

Santa says: I am lean and mean and ready for Mule in 2016!