Vignette: 715 lbs x 12 deadlifts

So I  decided to push my dead lifting off till Saturday so I could be rested and prepared...

I was in the zone... beast mode.. I did 12 Singles with 715 Pounds Deadlift (no belt - 60 second rest periods).  I surprised even myself.

The whole gym stopped and stared  lol

Of course the fact that I was making noises like a silverback gorilla getting fucked and turning purple may have had something to do with the stares... but I would rather think they were admiring

Earlier in the week this fat chick from the gym had invited me over that night for spaghetti Saturday night... I went even tho I could barely move from dead lifting my balls off  

went like this.....:

her: do you want a blowjob?
Mule: no thanks i'm not really in the mood maybe later
her: you sure? because i dont really have anything to do.
Mule: nah i'm good
her: i mean if it's because i use too much teeth i can call up my friend to give you one. i heard she gives great bjs.
Mule: no really i don't want a bj right now
her: well if you want one i'll just be in the kitchen

btw for background .. I  had spotted her Wednesday  on the hamster-wheel while she was working the cellulite off her gigantic ass whilst I was squatting 6 plates a side and teabagging the ground during the week....

yes i know i know, what am i doing with such a whale.. but she makes a killer of a sammich...shes a complete beluga whale but she's a great cook (Italian) and got some big DD's so I broke her over and wrecked it like it was going out of style in the sauna (you just got to put an "out of order" sign on the door) on Wednesday and she invited me over to her place out of graditute for me fukcing her even tho she's way below my usual standards ...

 I would have  liked to reverse cowboy and tittie fuk them great big titties while she tongued  my bung hole... but I was  too tired last night tho

Vignette: Football players =/= BB: We kick ass!

I'm a football player which means I'm a built for sex.  If you're just a  bodybuilder then you are built for show. You are useless other than standing on a stage looking good in your underwear.  I got  functional muscle and strength.  I got the  bigger chest  and I got big traps for lifting and for pumping that bitch. I was a div 1 a college jock from 2004-2008. I got  practical sexual strength.  Like my football player booty. I have magnificent buttocks, it's all that deadlifting.  

Girls compliment my ass all the time  They like a big round muscle  ass that can generate thrusting power and pound the living bejesus out of them. An epic male muscle butt  like mine beats abs for picking up chicks every time, serious.  A big ass also makes you look 'powerful as phuck'. In fact it makes you 'powerful as phuck'...naturally.... I got massive glutes. I think this explains the explosiveness and speed in Negroes... very serious about that.  Strong glutes make you a good sprinter, strong puncher, strong kicker, etc. No homo but look at sprinters' asses... all of em big!  Most black bbers have these long big glutes that stick out and white ones have pancake glutes.

I, myself, was blessed with 'negro glutes' even though I'm white.  I have been complimented on my ass by girls at least as much as any other body part!

Vignette: Goals/Aspirations:

Goals/Aspirations: When I was a young boy in Grade 6 I remember going to the history museum and seeing this statue of Zeus. And as I was standing there mesmerized by the statue I could hear my teacher telling the class that we could be anything we wanted to be. That instant I decided I wanted to become a Greek god. From that moment on I was in the gym every day, taking my multi and lifting heavy. By the time I was in middle school I was already a straight up beast. I was making year 8 girls’ panties wet when I would walk down the corridor, and every beta phaggot in the school was mirin' my jacked fibras*. My goal in life is to have the ability to make every vagina in the building flow like the Nile. When I walk into the club I want to see every chick ravage one another to get a glimpse of my aesthetics, and hope that by the end of the night they are the one I choose to make my bedroom acrobat. That's what keeps me going; that desire to be a gift from above to women and an example of what the human body can do.

*striated sinews, muscle fibers

Vignette: Ask a guy who just survived an earthquake anything

It kinda got lost in the news cuz of the DC quake but the day before that we had a quake here in Colorado also. I was at my MMA gym getting some rolling* in when an earthquake hit.  At the time of the quake, I had a teammate's back and was flattening him out. When the shaking started he thought I was being a dick and humping him and he was like "Dude, what the fuck?!" and I was like "I'm not doing anything!". The shaking continued and he was really pissed and screamed "Stop!". 

When the shaking continued he threw a nasty elbow back at my face which knocked me off and created some space between us. At that point, a big tile fell from the ceiling, landing right where we had just been rolling. He then realized I had been telling the truth and we got up and ran for the door.

Under the circumstances, I didn't tell my coach about the elbow he threw and my opponent has agreed to roll* again. He even agreed to let me start on the back since he now realizes I wasn't actually humping him. I plan on choking the crap out of him and once he starts tapping I will probably start thrusting my hips to piss him off since I'ma still pissed off about the elbow, whih really jacked my strong ass jaw... I wonder if  in MMA is it illegal to mount an opponent doggie style, then proceed to slide ur cock in his ass during the fight?    The hard part I imagine would be getting my cock out from behind my cup....

*Rocking & Rolling - terms that encompass both aspects of the fight game. 'Rocking' refers to stand-up fighting and 'Rolling' refers to the ground game.

Midgets in Gym

Midgets in Gym

It's not unusual to run into various types of anabolic steroid users, from the typical male, 18-35, to older folk, women, even mentally challenged bros like my friend Bull Dawg. But who can honestly say they know a person suffering from dwarfism who is a heavy gear user? Well, I certainly can, and he's a bastard to boot!

The other day at the gym, I was collecting all the 45 pound plates in the place in order to load up the leg press with a challenging weight when, lo and behold, I literally stumbled on a midget doing dumbbell curls. Dwarves are usually stumpy, but this fellow was literally as wide as he was tall (perhaps 4 feet), and looked liked a jacked up version of wee-man--A Fireplug of Muscle that was built like a Brick Shithouse.  I stopped in front of him and looked down, staring. "What the fuck you lookin' at, stretch?" the little devil snarled. "Pound for pound, I'm the strongest in this gym with a penor twice the length of guys two feet taller" he bragged. "See, folks like me get more out of steroids cause of our being smaller" he snapped. Then he waddled proudly over to an Olympic bar loaded up with 500 pounds and deadlifted it, albeit his range of motion was a only few inches due to his size. Swelling up his barrel chest, he walked by me, as if I were supposed to be impressed. I thought. I heard him mutter "fuckin' meathead". Later, I noticed him cursing some other lifters, and lecturing them on proper gear use. He even challenged one of them to a fight!

At the time, I was too shocked by the sight of the little freak to correct his arrogant attitude, but I lay in bed that night, shaking in rage. The next time I saw him, there would be a reckoning.
 Before I get accused of being racist against midgets... I googled midgets that night.  I didn't have no hateration on  midgets... in fact they make me laugh when they're doing things. i.e.- dressed in costumes and such... but the moar I read the more I suspected dwarfs were up to something.... 

-there was a story, on FOX news about how midgets were behind the 9/11 attacks. They were talking about how midgets planned the attacks because they are tired of they way they are treated. Some of the midgets they interviewed in a group called "midgets against terror midgets" think Bin laden was actually a midget. They think that is why he always had a long robe on so you can't see the legs were fake...

-and then Youtube got some midgets fighting on Springer...

-another story about midget being banned from the International Limbo Competition....

-story about how midgets only need 4 hours of sleep at night since they are half sized....

So the moar I read the moar sinister it all sounded....

There he was at the gym the next day, and I approached him, smirking, and made an innocent enough joke- 'Hey there, Tom Thumb, be careful, if immigration officers catch you they'll deport you back to the land of Lilliput!" I roared, laughing. Thor, my workout partner, came along and joined in the harmless jesting "Oi, little Hobbit, fuck off!" he quipped, and then kicked the little fellow over with his foot. Then Bull Dawg, a Down-Syndrome afflicted bodybuilder at the gym, came over, laughing, and kicked the little bastard in the face!

He wobbled to his feet, and ran out the gym, screaming "I'll be back with me mates, you assholes!!" as everyone roared with laughter.

Thirty minutes later, two vans pulled up outside the gym. At least 10 midgets came out the back doors, many of them weightlifters, and all of them looking pissed off. At the head of the army of little devils was the midget we had just humiliated. "Dwarfs or not, I'm going to rip them apart!" I thundered. Thor took his motorbike chain out of his gym bag, and a few other lifters came over. We headed out the front doors of the gym. Bull Dawg came charging to the fore, and ran out the front doors of the gym, screaming, swinging an e-z curl bar, and charged into the mass of midgets, like some kind of deranged samurai! We watched in awe as he cut a swath through the midget army. "I say Bull Dawg wins, 10 to 1 odds!" I declared, and with the other lifters, ran back into the gym and started collecting their bets on the outcome of the brawl. We shut the gym doors and watched. Most of the bets were against Bull Dawg...and I must say, Thor and I thought we would be out of pocket a pretty penny, as Bull Dawg was swarmed by the little bastards. One of them bit him in the crotch and he went down, then they all put the boots to him. "Ye Gods, we'd better get out there to help!" someone cried, and I smacked them in the face screaming "SILENCE!!...I got money on this fight... no body interferes...."

Just when it seemed Bull Dawg was beaten to death, he somehow, from the depths of his Quasimodo, mongoloid, superhuman strength, rose to his feet, roaring, and started picking up midgets and tossing them 50 feet through the air. They landed with a sick thud on the parking lot, and lay there, every bone broken. We cheered him on as he stomped them all down! Bull Dawg was the decisive winner when the police department arrived, and shot him with an elephant tranquilizer. Apparently they were prepared for Bull Dawg from the emergency call a passerby made to them...

(flashback)
*static noise then police radio sounds* "All available units-report of a superhuman retarded man beating up midgets.  Proceed with caution..."
******************************
...And so they had come equipped with veterinary grade tranquilizer dart guns, the kind they use on elephants! Bull Dawg staggered around the parking lot, swinging his fists, until a few more darts brought him down. He was taken away by one of the ambulances that arrived on the scene!

Vignette: Just Railed my MILF Booty call!

- She was watching a movie with her son and I was actually visiting her roommate (long story). She invited me to come watch the rest of it as I was actually leaving.

-I sat beside her and she started feeling me IN FRONT of her son. Shes done this before...awwwkward as fuhhk! Not dirty but rubbing my hands and legs etc. I've fawked her a lot and said before I wouldn't again. That didn't work, hah!

-Her son (who's 15 btw) passes out and I finally start groping her and shit. Get her nice and wet. By this times its midnight.

-Its Just plain LUST and physical desire man!! Serious that's all it is!! This MILF just turns my gears!! AND she's got massssive titts!!

-fortunately the son sleeps in an addition to the house...you have to walk through this weird hallway and shit. Its pretty much separated from the main house. But  the girl I was visiting before...that's the room next door. Gotta be honest it was some of the quietest fawking I've ever done, seriously.

-I rail her about 5 diff positions and creampie her as usual (her tubes are tied don't worry).

-Get her to give me a massage after and I drive home and just made nachos and now chill'n-- All packed and leaving tomorrow for a short hunting trip.  Will work on the blog when i get back.   Feels good man!

Here's my Easter Joke:

What did one egg say to the other egg in a pot of boiling water?

Hang on, it might take me a little while to get hard because I just got laid by some chick.

Vignette: My Saturday Night

Met some girl on PoF using my line about having great sex or some sh*t. Like a week ago she texts me telling me to come over and f*ck her and her (blonde) girlfriend. Couldn't do it that night. So finally after 2-3 days of sexting and conflicting schedules, we're finally able to schedule a day/time to meet.. Today. I'm supposed to meet her and her girl and f*ck them both. When I get over there, there are 3 girls. Original chick, her (blonde) friend, and a third (brunette) girl. They're all drunk.. At 4 p.m. lmfao. The original girl was a bit heavier than I thought she's be, her (blonde) friend was a bit sexier than I thought she'd be, and the third (brunette) chick wasn't bad at all. The plan was for me to f*ck them all, one after another. I sit down on the couch, spread out, they give me a beer, and we chill, talk and tease each other for a little while. 

The third girl who wasn't even supposed to be there is coming on to me like crazy, a lot more than the others, asking me a bunch of questions, talking about the pic of my dick I sent them, asking me to strip, take my shirt off and get naked.

 Turns out the original chick is feeling sick from drinking too much, and at some point the blonde girl gets a call about her grandpa falling down the stairs and he's in the hospital. The blonde is crying and the original girl tells me that they have to go to the hospital (so I have to leave). 

Bummer. I get up to put my shirt on and sit next to the third (brunette) girl. Sexual tension was pretty high, we talk for a minute, I start lightly touching her hair as she talks, then I say "come here.." She says "No, you're supposed to get with my friends, I'm just an extra." It's obvious she wants it so I go in for the kiss and we starting making-out. She puts her number in my phone, we make-out a couple more times and I leave.

Felt pretty good even though I didn't get to smash them. Got a new girls number and at least I met them so it should be easier to schedule another time to hang out and f*ck in the near future. And the picture of my dick is money, the girls I'm sending it to are loving it. 

Cliffs:
-Supposed to f*ck girl and her friend
-Three girls instead of two when I get there
-Sh!t goes crazy
-Original girl sick from alcohol
-Friend's grandpa in hospital

-They have to go to hospital

-Make-out with third chick before I leave and get her number (found her Facebook and it says "in a relationship." Oh lawd.

-Will smash them all in the near future