FIRST PUBLISHED DECEMBER 6, 2006
It's time I gave Listerine the praise it
deserves. Listerine is a man's mouthwash. It's hardcore. It gets in your mouth
and it fucks shit up. It burns like a bitch, but
that's how you know it's working. Having tried Listerine, I can't use a
mouthwash that doesn't set my mouth on fire with the flames of a thousand suns.
Listerine is the dominatrix to my submissive. It hurts me, but it does it
because it loves me. It's fondest desire is to charge into my mouth, napalm in
hand, and flush out every last goddamn germ and bacteria in the name of Our
Lord Jesus Christ, amen. Listerine is without mercy, pity or empathy. It
believes in total war. It is Bruce Lee with nunchucks against 32 dudes in
white.
I saw a
commercial for new, "less intense" Listerine. Fuck that shit. If
you try to sap Listerine of it's awesome power, it's going to come to your
house in the middle of the night and kick you in the nuts until you start to
like it. If you can't handle it you might as well castrate yourself and go cry
in a corner you little pussy.
Here's to
Listerine:
LEARN MORE ABOUT THIS AMAZING PRODUCT!
ROLL EXIT THEME:
No comments:
Post a Comment