Just another Sunday....

This gem is from March of 2009 and was originally titled: Mangled Some Pussies in the Park

Just another Sunday for me son, I got 48 hours of super dick on command so when a girl comes and stays with me for a weekend by time she goes back to school on Sunday she can’t even look at me without telling me how much she loves me and begging to rub my back or cook me bacon.. after I got rid of her this morning I spent a couple of hours jacking this frame the fuck up down at the gym... chest day ... I warmed up with 225x10, then 315x6, 405x6, 455x4 ...manmaker lifts.... Lookin' swoll dawg ... 6'3'' 262 lbs. I got thick speed bump abs, like a 53 inch chest and almost 20 inch arms and I have that teardrop shit on my quads that bitches be goin’ crazy for when I wear shorts.... IF U AINT BIG U AIN'T shit.

GO BIG OR GO HOME!

Driving back from the gym, got my 19+ gun hanging out the side, letting people know who the fuck is cruising past in the jeep when I get a call from Little T. Tells me to come by the park, crews there, couples of 10s, beer an' shit is flowing, only thing missin’ is my strong-assed self. Get there, only problem is there ain’t no spaces to park so I smash some bitches cheap ass civic window with a brick, take off the brake n' rolled that shit outta the space into the street. Couple pussies saw me but didn’t dare say shit, especially since I’m rockin’ a sleeveless shirt.

Meet up with the crew in the park. Grab myself some beer outta the cooler and put some ice on my biceps straight away girls r all over me trying to touch me n shit, telling me I’m the biggest guy they've ever seen.

 Remember, I do over head presses for two reasons:

1. So I can lift a girl over my head to impress her

2. So if I’m in a fight I can pick up a guy and throw him, to impress on him that he shouldn’t fuck with me....

…and I do deadlifts for two reasons too:

1. To be able to lift cars off people in the event that I need to. Saving someone by doing this will definitely impress the chicks.

2. Intimidate other males and let them know that I rule the gym.

So I put that to use, these cupcakes wanna see how strong I am so I lift one up n start pressing her over my head, ain’t even breaking a sweat, she’s enjoying it, gigglin’ an’ shit. The other one starts asking how many pull ups I can do. I’m like "Shit, I bust out 20 for fun". About now crew's all jealous an' shit seein’ them chicks all over me. Little T starts talking shit about doing 50 pull-ups, reckons he do ‘em all day, so I tell him to man the fuck up and show us what he’s got.

I flex up an' Little T grabs holda my arm, starts doing pull ups off of my bicep, girls are going wild seeing this kinda shit. T's repping ‘em out, done about 12 by now and he’s struggling like a pussy. I’m like "Shit son, that all you got", girls start laughing at his weak-assed attempt as he slips and falls on the ground. I’m about ready to wreck Little T upside the head for being such a bitch when some football comes flyin’ in an’ hits one of the girls in the face all Marcia Brady like.

She starts crying an’ shit, her sniffling is annoying the shit outta me when some guy starts hollering from across the park, wanting their football back. I’m thinking: "Hell no, somebody’s about to get their shit mangled.”

 About now the guy starts talking shit ‘cause I still got his ball so I launch it like a heat seeking missile 60 yards right into that bitch's face. Even from here, I see blood an’ shit go flying. Caved his fucking face in. His friends see him hit the ground an’ come running over.  And they was 4 HUGE jacked-up frat boys weighing 250+ each... It’s ON!!!

Come at me!!!!

Straight away I smash one guy upside the head with a full beer can. He went down like a bitch, probably brain damaged or sum shit ‘cause he starts droolin’ an’ shaking.  Then I go to work on the other guys, pussies ain’t putting up a fight, don’t even have to try, knocking ‘em out all over the fucking place…King Kong ain’t got shit on me!.... I pick one guy up and throw him 20ft into some bushes, heard some loud snap, musta broke his neck ‘cause he didn’t crawl back out.

Doctor says he will be right as rain in a few months!!

Mangled those pussies the fuck up, left about a half - dozen guys on that field. Like some kinda warzone. 

Everyday shit to me though, son.