MUSINGS FROM TEXAS
So I'm in this hotel in Houston...Apparently my body automatically wakes up before dawn and wants to leave if I am in a strange bed.... its like a fuck and flight instinct ...At least they have porn and the Internets....what am I thinking, in this fancy joint they have ROOM SERVICE...
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| How can I be of service? |
And talk about the turn down service, here!
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| Oops, I've fallen, and I can't get up? A little help? |
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| I always give the maids, a tip! |
Plus after you give them a tip, they skedaddle and you don't have to worry about that cuddling shit.
Who knew, am I right?
Someone asked me how I feel about ugly chicks...
The pussification of the modern male has got to end!
Isn't it bad enough that half the population goes through PMS, must males be having monthly hissy fits too?
Although as often as not it leads not to shaking knees, but thumping hearts and uncomfortable stalking-type situations from women and men. Especially, as I have unfortunately found out, on social media.
I do have the lines though: Baby I'm like a blizzard, I can give you 8-10 inches and when I'm done you wont be able to leave the house for 3-4 days *
Who knew, am I right?
It is a scientific fact...I have done this experiment REPEATEDLY...
Someone asked me how I feel about ugly chicks...
I come from the school of hard knocks...
...Mainly because I get into a lot of fights!
The pussification of the modern male has got to end!
Isn't it bad enough that half the population goes through PMS, must males be having monthly hissy fits too?
Yeah I guess my size intimidates some people and fills others with awe and amazement...and even dread. But I am really a sweet guy once you learn not to cross me!
Although as often as not it leads not to shaking knees, but thumping hearts and uncomfortable stalking-type situations from women and men. Especially, as I have unfortunately found out, on social media.
It sometimes has required me to take drastic counter-measures!
I do have the lines though: Baby I'm like a blizzard, I can give you 8-10 inches and when I'm done you wont be able to leave the house for 3-4 days *
*Legal required note: You may have to look like THE MULE for this to work. For AFCs results may vary.
As it is Superbowl Sunday and I am in Houston, time to dip back into the archives for this perennial favorite: COLLECTING ON A SUPERBOWL BET!
PATRIOTS VS THE FALCONS
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| Preparing snacks for Superbowl Sunday...like a BOSS! |
When you are a FANatic for a particular team, and they are not playing in the Superbowl...AGAIN!
This was written before the game...so I may see these jokes deflate in light of the game, like one of Tom Brady' balls!
So look back on this old chestnut, Collecting on a Superbowl Bet as you are basking in Superbowl fever!
POSTGAME UPDATE:
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| I GOT FIVE RINGS NOW, HATERS!!!! |
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| FALCONS FANS BE LIKE |
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| This was Edit-brah after the game toward all the Pats fans! |
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