This chestnut is from back in July of '06
The 10
Types of Females: Mulescience 101
1. Ms. Gold-Digger
Advantages
a. You have some one to manage your money.
b. She always
looks good.
c. She makes your
other sloots jealous.
d. She makes you
look good.
Disadvantages
a. When you get broke she’ll be gone and take
what you have left.
b. She makes sure
she has a child by you to sue you for child support.
c. Once your
***** comes up she’ll be on his arm the next day.
2.
Ms. Freak (secret lover)
Advantages
a. She knows all the right positions.
b. She’ll try
everything more than once.
c. You’re never
unsatisfied.
d. She’ll do all
the things your main girl won’t do.
e. She doesn’t
mind being your freak, as long as she catches one too.
Disadvantages
a. Eventually, b/c she’s a female, she’ll end
up catching feelings.
b. She starts to
act like she’s your "main".
c. She sleeps wit
ya boy and act like you in the wrong for telling him that she’s a freak.
d. Eventually her
shit gets old. And you need a replacement.
3.
Ms. Independent
Advantages
a. You don’t have to worry about buying her
anything. She got it.
b. She’s
intelligent, sassy, confident and determined.
c. She’s great
for (business) conversation.
d. She keeps it
real and has goals.
e. She knows how
to please a man.
Disadvantages
a. She will continuously let you know, that she
can handle it on her own.
b. She will
eventually say fuck you and get a dildo.
c. She will
consider you another one her play toys, or even worse--goals.
4.
Ms. Dyme
Advantages
a. She’s top of the line.
b. She stays
looking like a fantasy.
c. She has the
body of a goddess with the face to match.
d. She considers
herself a "model"
e. Gets you on
hard whenever you see her.
f. All the girls
envy her, but she doesn’t care.
Disadvantages
a. She’s superficial. She cares only about her
looks.
b. She honestly
lacks confidence and will annoy you about the way she looks.
c. She’s probably
dumb as hell and if she’s not her personality is dry.
d. You have to
constantly keep your game up b/c every fucker is gonna try to get her.
5.
Ms. Tomboy
Advantages
a. She’s cool and laid back.
b. She’ll be
willing to play rough with you.
c. Of course, she
loves sports.
d. Her body is
athletically divine.
e. She’s easy to
talk to and fun to be around.
f. She’s a
diamond in the rough.
Disadvantages
a. She’ll want to come to the gym with you.
b. She might not
want to change her appearance.
c. She might
actually beat you in basketball or volleyball.
6.
Ms. Ghetto
Advantages
a. She’s not afraid of any other female or male. She will
fight to keep you.
b. She’s down for
you. She’ll be there to bail you out of jail.
c. She’s always
stays fresh.
d. She can cook
up a storm.
e. She isn't
afraid of a big dick.
Disadvantages
a. She
doesn’t know how to act in public.
b. Your mama
can’t stand her.
c. You get into
with her every other second.
d. She’s willing
to fight another girl looking at you or her PERIOD.
e. Her weave
colors are distracting and her vocabulary is minimal.
7.
Ms. Good Girl
Advantages
a.
She’s always there for you.
b. She’s
intelligent, classy, kind, sweet and cool.
c. Your mother
loves her.
d. You are her
first everything.
e. She makes you
feel like a man.
Disadvantages
a.
She’s an A or B situation either: A. You’re not gonna get any until ya’ll are
married or B. She said she's never done ...she said she;s never tried... she’s sitting
there telling a muthafubkin' lie...'cuz the bitch I know has long been Mulefied.
8.
Ms. Psycho
Advantages
a.
She’s fun and spontaneous.
b. She’s down to
earth.
c. She loves you
unconditionally.
d. Everything
about her is too good to be true. So everyone loves her.
e. She makes you
feel loved.
Disadvantages
a.
Don’t you break up with her. She will stalk your ass.
b. She keeps
pictures of you everywhere and knows everything about you.
c. She can
manipulate the hell out of you.
d. She will
consider herself wifey even if she may just be that chick on the side.
e. Fuckin' with
her can make your life a living hell.
9.
Ms. I have a Man
Advantages
a. She
may have a man but she’ll mess with you anyway. Especially if you are alpha like the Mule.
b. She looks
good.
c. You have an
intense night of passion with her.
Disadvantages
a.
She’ll always come crying to you about the problems with her man.
b. When she gets
pissed at her man she wants you to beat him up for her. (Been there, done that)
c. She’ll
unofficially make you her man once she gets pissed off at her real man.
10.
Ms. Tease
Advantages
a.
She’s tempting and a nice piece of eye candy.
b. She’s
intelligent, athletic, respectable and SEXXXXXXY.
c. She knows how
to turn you on without touching you.
d. Everything she
does is just so sensual.
e. She can bring
you to that point and make you wait to get it.
f. Every time you
see her you catch a mini orgasm.
g. Every fucker wants her b/c she’s so mysterious and that makes you want to get her first.
Disadvantages
a. Even when you think you have a shot at being first, someone like Mule has already hit that
b.
NO matter what you think or do you never get it.
b. She probably
has a long distance boyfriend somewhere that you will never know about.
c. After wining and dining her at great expense: She gets you
hard and leaves you like that. (Unbearable) to go off an fuck some alpha like Mule!
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