Shenanigans in the Presbytery

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Shenanigans in the Presbytery 

Story by Mule, original art and concept by Steve, editing by Stefan

I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste- Song of Solomon 2:3

The Presbytery

Piotr, the big, hunky, muscular Polish tradie, arrives at the Presbytery to do some handyman work. He stood about 6'2" tall and that frame was packed with 290 lbs of lean, bulging muscle. We are talking 22" biceps (not fatceps), bolder delts, a massive chest and lats like choppy ocean waves. He had shoulders a mile wide, narrowing to a 34" waist and a pair of legs like sequoias. They were working muscles too, not just for show, Piotr was strong as an ox, albeit his thinking processes were also distinctly bovine. Rock scientist he was NOT. His features were ruggedly handsome and he was on the speed dial of many a lonely housewife who needed their pipes flushed or some hammering done. Whatever work needed doing, Piotr was always ready to pull out his tool..er tools.

Piotr,  the big Polish tradie

He notices a big pile of wood

He notices a big pile of wood waiting to be chopped into firewood. Pastor Gary is weeding in the yard, has noticed the hulking handyman, but has turned away, fighting a wave of temptations that has washed over him like a tsunami.  Mule never mentioned to the preacher just what an alluring specimen of manhood Piotr was when he recommended him, and Gary was not mentally prepared to resist, and the wood pile was now not the only wood in the yard.

Piotr sees an  extremely built guy wearing black. The Polish tradesman decides this must be Gary that Mule was talking to him about.  He is impressed with the minister, this is the most physically impressive man of the cloth the handyman has ever encountered, Mule had not exaggerated, in fact he undersold the physical attributes of the reverend.  Like Gary he also struggled to suppress an immediate physical attraction.   The Polish muscleman approaches the preacher, who only looks up when the shadow of Piotr's muscular bulk falls over the minister like a seductive shroud.

"You need that wood chopped Father Gary?" Piotr asks.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one

Gary looks up at Piotr.  The Polish tradie, was ruggedly handsome in a rough hewn sort of way, and built like a brick shithouse.  Rev. Gary's  fuckpole came to attention and was flying Satan's flag, as Counselor Everett used to say at  Conversion Therapy Camp.  Gary quickly composed himself and stuck out his hand for the big Polish tradie to shake.

"One of my flock is coming by to help me with that. In fact, he was the one who recommended you to do our plumbing repairs. You're a friend of Mule, right? But I tell you what, that's a big pile of wood and we could certainly use the help.''

"I am Piotr" the behemoth of a tradesman grunted.

"Gary" the Preacher responded even though, Piotr clearly already knew his name.

Gary muttered a prayer. With both Mule AND Piotr here, it was going to be a day of battling temptations!


"Mule said your housekeeper is on vacation so My sister Maria will be coming later to help, she good cleaning and cooking, this is good, no?"


"The more the merrier," responded Gary, hoping Maria will prove a moderating influence that would help him battle his sodomistic thoughts.

Piotr wastes no time in  stripping  off his coveralls and beginning to chop the wood. The strength and power of the muscular tradesman was like a beacon of temptation. . Piotr's bulging sinews in action were like twisted cords of rebar that sent convulsions of desire through the pastor.  "Jesus help me!" Gary pleaded silently

The strength and power of the muscular tradesman
 was like a beacon of temptation.

Piotr's sinews in action were like twisted cords of rebar.
"Jesus help me!" Gary pleaded silently

Gary tried to look away from the rippling muscles,
 but their temptation was too strong...

Gary tried to look away from the rippling muscles, but their temptation was too strong, and like Lot's wife he looked back...but instead of turning into a pillar of salt, he turned into a seething, quivering mound of famished lust and wanton desire.

Just then  Maria  drives up to the Pastor's residence.  Maria was a clear HBB, and Gary was instantly adding another log to the woodpile, while Gary, although he innately had a preference for guys, also had an attraction for women. Years of camp conditioning and rewards for showing physical attraction to females had not cured him of his Anthrophilic predilections, it had just made him hungrily horny for both pussy and penis. Being around attractive males and females for Gary was akin to an alcoholic being around cases of whiskey.

Maria was a HBB and very eager to be of service
 to a man of the cloth!

With a raging hard-on, Gary mumbled 1st Corinthians 10:13

With a raging hard-on, Gary mumbled 1st Corinthians 10:13:  "...And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."

Gary gets Maria set up to do her work in the house, showing her around and giving her instructions in a strained almost strangled, faltering stutter as he went through a litany of bible versus simultaneously in his head. He had gone to the seminary in the first place to conquer the raging wolf inside him...but his raging animal instincts could at best only be momentarily tamed...still Satan tested him sorely when they got to the bedroom and after succinctly telling Maria: "A quick dusting and vacuuming in here," as he focused on his poster of his abstinence hero Tim Tebow; Maria responded enticingly: "Anything else you need done in the bedroom, Father Gary?"   

"WWTTD?  What would Tim Tebow do?"--Gary asked himself in a moment of internal torment. The wolf was once again restrained before he pounced.

Maria responded enticingly: "Anything else you need done in
the bedroom, Father Gary?" 

"WWTTD?  What would Tim Tebow do?"
Gary asked himself in a moment of internal torment.

Maria set to her assorted tasks, Gary battling his demons,  goes back outside, and finds that Mule has arrived and has joined Piotr in chopping the wood.  "Talk about out of the frying pan, and into the fire", the preacher thought to  himself." Gary's  eyes widen at the heaving, sweaty muscular buffet of manhood laid out before him.  It overwhelmed the pastor's sensibilities and played havoc his resolve.  It also reminded him to let them know that Maria would be bringing lunch out to the men, later.   He then turned away in a moment of reflection and furtive prayers in an effort to curb the flood of hormones and neurotransmitters which played havoc with his limbic system.  The pastor popped a SSRI anti-depressant notorious for its dampening of the sex drive, and with his most blessed beatitude  preacher grin, turned back to the laboring muscle hunks. Gary strips off his own shirt and joins the energetic efforts as he repeated Matthew 6:13 over and over in his mind.

The temptation that was Mule had joined Piotr
 in an enticing muscular buffet

The pair of muscle hunks overwhelmed his sensibilities
and played havoc with his resolve

Gary joins in with the herculean labors, and the preacher is
 not the only one tempted by the allure of muscle!

the Lord knows how to rescue the godly from trials and to hold
 the unrighteous for punishment on the day of judgment

The pheromone and testosterone perfumed musk of their
 sweat gave all three choppers wood

The sights and smells of the three in muscled labor,
fueled by their physical exertions, had all three men
 horned up!

Maria comes out to find out if the three are ready for lunch.  Seeing the shirtless Gary makes Maria moist and her nipples hard.  Father Gary is as handsome as the Mule and as muscled as Piotr.

Are any of you he-men hungry yet?

So that's tuna fish sammitches for Mule and BLT'S for Piotr...

Is there anything special  I can get YOU reverend?  
Maria offered coyly

I'll have what Mule's having....Gary replied
and Mule seeing Gary's boner thought: I bet you will.

Maria comes back in a few minutes with their lunches prepared, and the three muscleman having worked up an appetite, wolf them down, gobbling so fast it almost seemed like they INHALED the food.

"I guess you like what Maria bring!"  The HBB said with a smile, and Mule bit his tongue.


After Maria heads back into the residence to do more cleaning. Piotr confronts Mule.

"Mule should have put a shirt on while Maria was here..." the big muscle bear snorted.

"What the actual fuck? You didn't have a shirt on and neither did Gary...." Mule laughs.

"I'm her brother and Father Gary is a pastor, but you are a well known man whore and need to show my sister more respect...." Piotr snarls, but there again, he always sounds like he's snarling so Mule is having trouble gauging whether they are about to throw down or not.

"I told you before, Piotr, I ain't trying to fuck your sister ... we got all that straight between me and you the last time ....not that I wouldn't like to, I mean she's hot and all...but I swore on the Bro Code I wouldn't..."

I told you before, Piotr, I ain't trying to fuck your sister ...

As it says in James 4: "What causes fights and quarrels among
 you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?"

So Father, you are saying Mule IS trying to get in
my sister's panties... snarled Piotr
Gee thanks for that helpful verse, Gary, quipped Mule

No what I am saying is your preoccupation with worldly
thoughts lead to fights, focus on the love that is Jesus!

Just as you are bros in the gym, be bros in Christ!

Let not your thoughts be darkened by suspicious and fears,
Love your bro as Jesus loves you, man!

Satan darkens your thoughts...seek the light of Jesus!

You two are stand up dudes!  Don't let the lies of Lucifer
blind you to one another!

Do not become intoxicated on the narcotic rush of rage
 and let yourself be addicted to anger....

Channel your emotions, through the lens of the light
and power of Christ, into TRUE STRENGTH,
and work together as friends not foes

If anyone was fucking your sister, I would know about it...

Thanks Mule, that's good to know...

After Piotr and Mule leave, a sweaty Gary takes a shower and notices the faucet drips and also the re-caulking that needed to be done in the tub, the very reason he had arranged for Piotr to come over and help in the first place.  He had become distracted by Piotr's muscles and his fight with Mule and forgotten all about it!  He will just have to get Piotr to come back, he said with an unconsciously leering smile as his cock came to full attention.  He felt not only horny, but the competitive jock in him, felt the need to assert his sexual and athletic dominance over the powerful, muscular Tradesman.

A pity, but I will just HAVE to call that hunky Hercules,
 Piotr back! Gary said with a leer

 Gary set the shower to COLD, and squeaky clean and no longer aroused, he emerges from the bathroom to find Maria has come back and is lying provocatively on his bed. 

Satan's flag is once again run up his growing flag pole and the breathtakingly beautiful Pole.  He beheld Maria like David fixated on Bathsheba and the spirit he was filled with was anything but Holy, she was a wild little minx, and she needed to be subdued and tamed...

He desperately begins reciting a litany of bible versus in his head, and looks over across the room for help to Tim Tebow...

I'd hit that,
the poster of Tim seemed to say!

...but he just imagines Tim is also checking out Maria... "I'd hit that," the poster of Tim seemed to say!  Matthew 26:41 came to Gary's mind: "Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak."

...the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak

Years of Gay Conversion Camp had taught him to revel in his attraction to shapely female forms, and Maria had curves that could bend any man's resolve. 

 His lust put his resolve in a sleeper hold, and the Internal struggle collapsed with Gary whipping off the towel and diving into bed with the voluptuous Maria. If he could not beat his lust, he could harness its power into athletic exuberance. 

The horse-hung Gary piledrived his thick veined cock again and again into her. With each thrust of his muscular, powerful bronzed body Gary was slamming the headboard against the wall. The sounds in the room were the bed being slammed, their bodies slapping together, and Maria's wild moans and words. The smell of sex and of Gary was everywhere. The deep masculine grunts that came out of Gary's massive chest were so different from her high pitched squeals of delight from Maria. He placed his powerful arms on the sides of her head and really started fucking her like a machine. The muscles in his ass contract as he moved up and down, up and down, picking up speed

The preacher penetrated his pulchritudinous parishioner with filled her with his spirit , one that might not have been all that Holy but from the moans of pleasure emanating from the bewitching Pole was clearly ravishingly divine... he may not have conquered his lust, but he conquered Maria and that gave satisfaction to the alpha male unleashed in him.

When he had finished pounding Maria,raised himself up and slowly pulled his magnificent dick out. Gary's cum was leaking out of her, his cum was everywhere. The sheets were soaked, sopping wet with what seemed to be gallons of Gary's thick cum.  He rolled over exhausted and drowsy. Maria looked at him worshipfully! Even though she was still totally zombified and lost in a post-orgasmic bliss, she still watched his physique with admiration, every muscle defined as he relaxed now.  She was in awe of all the muscles in his chest and his abs standing out, and the size of the flexed arm holding her hair, and that HUGE cock! The animal in Gary had dissipated, and Luke 4:13 came to his half-conscious mind:  When the devil had finished all this tempting, he left him until an opportune time.

******************************************************

Later...

Maria asks Gary: "I struggle to be good, but I am weak, my urges are strong, but my flesh is weak...Am I just wicked, Father Gary?"


Gary shakes his head: "No Maria, we all struggle with the temptations of the flesh. We all are born sinners and die sinners, it is only through Christ's sacrifice on the cross that we are redeemed.  Of course we must struggle against sin...but we must not give up when we falter, for surely we will all falter from time to time."


Maria looks at Gary thoughtfully. "What temptations do you struggle with, Father Gary?"

Gary pursed his lips, paused a moment and then answered:
"Since I was a kid, I have struggled with impure thoughts that are an abomination to the Lord. Earlier today, I was tempted by the beautiful muscular flesh of both your brother Piotr and Mule." said Gary quietly with sadness. Gary was not being fully forthcoming with Maria about the extent of his temptations. Gary needed to WIN in every endeavor in his life, be it in the pulpit, on the mat or in the sack...he had to be top dawg.

"I understand this, Piotr had such feelings also, but our Papa beat it out of him." Maria said reassuringly. 

"Does not my flesh, tempt you Father Gary?" Maria inquired and the two were at it again....Tim Tebow looked down on the humping pair, from his frame on the wall, and felt a mixture of disapproval and envy.

******************************************************

LATER...


Maria smiled. "Father...you help me with something, yes?"


"How can I help you, Maria..."


"I need you to help me understand...." Maria asks as her hand slid upward on his awesome muscular body to his masculine hairy chest and caressed his hard sexy pecs, big hard rounded slabs of muscle with big hard nipples jutting out.  


"Understand what?"-- Gary said, nuzzling her neck..

"Father Gary, why do the Mule and Piotr fight all the time?" Maria asks.

"Piotr is just doing what a big brother does, he is looking out for his baby sister. You and Mule are very attractive and young, that lends to temptation. It's not that he doesn't like Mule, he is protecting you from that temptation. In that way, Piotr is like a guardian Angel. View it as a gift from God." Gary counsels.

"OK, Father Gary. But that is silly. Maria isn't interested in boys like Mule, Maria likes real men. But thank you, Father Gary, I understand Pitor more better now. You are so smart."

"You don't think Mule is a real man?" inquired Gary, as lustful thoughts for Mule once more penetrated his  post-Orgasmic brain.

"No, he man in body yes, but boy in brain, besides he... lawyer, works in office, not with his hands like real men... like Piotr and Papa."

"and our dear Lord Jesus, who was a carpenter after all..." added Gary.

"Yes, Yes, and our Lord Jesus!" she said planting a kiss on Gary's cheek which signaled the start of another bout of sexual gymnastics...PRAISE JESUS.

Father Gary, why do the Mule and Piotr fight?

Piotr is looking out for his baby sister...

You and Mule are very attractive and young,
 that lends to temptation...

Piotr is protecting you from that temptation

You're so smart, thank you Father Gary, 
Maria thinks she understands now

Explain again why Noah didn't take dinosaurs on the Ark?

******************************************************

Later: Mule gets a text from Maria saying she needs his help with the cleaning.  Piotr is on another job and Gary has gone to deliver supplements to homeless bodybuilders. Mule is moving furniture in the guest room so she can clean.


As Maria was dusting her beautiful full and shapely ass stuck out a bit and wiggled with the motion. "I know I promised Piotr...but c'mon this is too much temptation...I mean we are in a Presbytery so surely this is a sign from God, right?" reasoned Mule in his mind.

Where the fuck did you learn to do that, Maria.. it was great....

I dunno Mule, let's just say I was divinely inspired....

Well then, THANK YOU JESUS....replied Mule

When the sexual festivities had died down, and Maria had returned with a sammitch for Mule, the big blond had time to ponder the ramifications of what he had just done.

"Piotr is not going to be happy with this...." he grumbled.

"He not need to know--why tell him?" she offered.

"Well, you see there is a bro code..." explained Mule

"Mężczyźni i ich głupie przepisy! To hell with your bro code, I thought you real man Mule, not like Father Gary with all the Nie będziesz rules!" fumed Maria

"You don't like Father Gary?" interjected Mule

"No, I like him very much, he just not real two-fisted man like Mule, he man of cloth, soft, turn other cheek, no?" purred Maria

" LOL. Babe you couldn't be more wrong. Gary is a  total stud, with a cock to match !  Let me tell you, the stud can fight. And he has one hell of a right cross!" said Mule rubbing his chin and thinking back to the beat down Gary gave him at beach fight...

"Oh really?" Maria said with a peaked interest that unnerved Mule a bit. He could smell her pussy leaking like Niagara Falls as the turned on slut wanted all the details. 

******************************************************

Gary came back when Mule was showering off the evidence of his fuckfest with Maria...The pastor presumptuously peeked his head in the bathroom, and feeling sweaty from his errands, inquired if he might join Mule to 'conserve water'.

As Mule looked over with an appraising eye at the heartthrob hunk of a pastor, Mule popped a boner and suddenly felt all 'environmentally conscious'. "Yeah I am all about going green, Gary, jump in, the more the merrier. You scrub my back broham, and I'll scrub yours!"

The shower sports migrated into the bedroom, and once again Tim Tebow was jealous and disappointed in Gary. John Cena would have been impressed with the wrestling moves Gary put on Mule during the bedroom sexual gymnastics, and they led to Gary topping Mule in the encounter. This pleased Gary even more than the sex itself!

Fuck man, don't tell me you learned to fuck like that at the
Seminary... Mule grunted between push ups

"Fuck man, don't tell me you learned to fuck like that at the Seminary..." Mule grunted between push ups.  His sphincter was still protesting from Gary's penetrating proselytizing.  But Gary had sure made a 'believer' out of Mule...

Actually, I did...Gary laughed. Now get that hot. muscular ass
 of yours back into the bed....

"Actually, I did..." Gary laughed.  "Now get that hot. muscular ass of yours back into the bed....Dude, I got a powerful urge to drill that ass again!"

Dude, I got a powerful urge to drill that ass, AGAIN!

"Jezus, don't you ever need to re charge?"  Mule groaned, with a touch of admiration of Gary's machine like sexual stamina.

"Sorry Mule, but like you, I fuck like I wrestle.  Balls out and to win.  But you know that now.  C'mon back to bed, I promise I will take it a little easier on you next time...well at least I will TRY.  But when I see your bubble butt and catch a whiff of your virile scent, I kind of lose my mind, so no firm promises.  No one has been tempted so sorely by Satan since, Jesus in the desert! 

C'mon, I will give you a break.. we can just watch T.V.

 When Mule still hesitated, Gary offered: "We can just watch T.V. while you recover..."  Gary laughed again.

On the mats or in the sack, I NEED TO WIN!

You took that first round Padre, but the night ain't over yet

It wouldn't be much of a victory if you didn't 
TRY to win, Mule...

But you are still going to lose, Mule! laughed Gary confidently
Isn't that what you said on the beach padre? Countered Mule

When after awhile watching some porn, and then WWE on PPV , they went for round 2, Gary was once again triumphant.  

Since he was 11 years old and first started reading Bodybuilding Magazines together with his bible, Gary had enjoyed looking at and comparing himself to incredibly muscled men. But it was not just a sexual attraction. There was a special feeling he got when he used his muscles to completely dominate and make another male his submissive bitch. Alpha versus alpha fighting or wrestling is all about the domination factor, and much less about sex. There is the special thrill between two muscle studs who know they can defeat most anyone their size when they meet for the first time, the sizing up of each other...and then putting their reputation on the line to see who can kick whose ass. Dominating other men, especially a quality opponent, such as Mule, an opponent that pushes you to your limits, and yet you still come on on top, that gave Gary a feeling of pure and utter dominance that was a narcotic fix to Gary and gave him such a high, that he couldn't describe, but that he knew a broham like Mule could understand.


Totally dominating an alpha male brings brings out the pure animal wolf in Gary... It gets him going and gets him all worked up with a pumped up feeling of invincibility from all that testosterone raging in his balls. Even Gary's massive warrior boner during a fight is something he looks upon as a weapon to intimidate and to use against his opponent. And once Gary has proven he is superior and the "top dawg" his confidence goes through the roof and he is more motivated in all aspects of his life.

But Gary has a propensity to take it too far... There was a reason that the Lord had classed Lust and Hubris among the Seven Deadly Sins.  It was not out of an ascetic fetish for self-abnegation and mortification of the flesh as many of the self-indulgently pious believed.  It was because God in his wisdom, knew where such wanton appetites could lead if not restrained...into a wanton and self-destructive hedonism.  

After years of prayer, counseling and therapy, Gary thought he had his addition Alpha Male domination under control. It had been almost two years without a SIGNIFICANT incident. But recently his suppressed feelings were once again getting the better of him. Gary had thought that he had found the solution by channeling those desires into his "Wresting for Jesus" outreach. But that was until he went man to man with Mule. The result for Gary was a complete relapse.

It was with similar thoughts that Gary mused in a post-coitus self-reflection, when he suddenly  noticed that Mule was glum, and the pastor already on the ascendancy, pushed out the gloating alpha male...

What's bothering you Mule?

"What's bothering you, Mule?" the empathetic Reverend asked soothingly. "I know it sucks to lose, but we all do sometimes, it motivates us next to to win.    Next time, it will be the other guy getting getting his brains fucked out and YOU busting a victory nut in  HIS ASS!  Gary chirped, then he paused.

Next time, it will be the other guy getting getting

 his brains fucked out

 "..Not that I am endorsing sodomy and fornication, perhaps your next victory will come in a more wholesome form."  Gary added the addendum perfunctorily and in rushed speech, like the side effect warnings in a pharmaceutical ad.



Mule reflected on the nearly two hours that evening he had spent getting his ass took, screaming out Gary's name as he clawed at the sheets. While he hated to lose, he was a good sport about it, and Gary had proved himself the superior man, at least for that night, and as a result Mule had yielded Gary temporary sovereignty not only over Mule's ass but also his heart.

Nah, it's that I done fucked up...

"Nah, its not that, it;s just that I dun goofed bad.  I broke my word to Piotr and fucked his sister, Maria..."  Mule explained.

I broke my promise to Piotr and fucked Maria...

"Dude!"  Gary grinned as the alpha male once again dislodged the pastor, and  he put his arm around Mule's wide shoulders, "How the fuck could anyone keep that promise?  Maria is soooooo fawkin' hawt....!!"

Dude, how could anyone keep that promise? 
 Maria is so fucking hawt...

OK, this doesn't sound like very good spiritual counseling to Mule.  Where's the bible verses and the shit about trying to do better.  Maybe Gary needs a Preacher School refresher course or something.

Gary must have realized the same thing, as the devilish horns of the broham came off, and the pastor's collar metaphorically came back on.

"What I meant Mule, is as Paul teaches us in Ephesians 2:  'And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— '...do you understand, Mule."

"Yeah, sure Gary." Mule said with double meaning, as he thought to himself.  "Nice save, Gary."

Nice save Gary, Mule thought

"Tell you what Mule.  Maria is coming over to finish her cleaning.  I will have Piotr come over at the same time as he has some work to do in the bathroom.  I will help him out, and discuss the situation with him.  Just leave it to me to handle.  I promise you want have any trouble with him after I do..."  Rev. Gary said reassuringly.

"Thanks, Gary.." --Mule replied in utter relief. "Now I just have to worry about her two OTHER gargantuan brothers, Piotr is the chillest of the trio!" he thought to himself after a moment's reflection.

With that Gary shelved the pastor again, temporarily, as he and Mule went for round three in celebration of Gary's successful pastoral counseling of the blond muscleman.  Tim Tebow shed tears from his framed perch above the bed, Gary having switched the positions of the cross and Tim in the hopes of staving off his urges with the proximity to the rock of abstinence, the Tebow!

Let ME handle Piotr, Mule. the pastor said reassuringly...

 Thanks, Gary...Mule replied in utter relief.

******************************************************

Maria comes over.  Unknown to her, Gary has texted Piotr to come over saying there is a leaking faucet in the master bath,  His text tells Piotr the front door is unlocked and just come up stairs.  Gary had meant to have a pastoral conversation with Piotr, but Maria had other ideas about what the evening was all about.  Like Delilah, Maria enticed the strongman distracting him from his mission and his resolve.   Suddenly Piotr, and Pastoral care of the big Pole's spirit, were the furthest things from Gary's mind as he once more surrendered to temptations of the flesh.

Gary had again  forgotten for the moment
 about being on Team Jesus

Is it true that you knocked out the Mule in fight?

I did more than just kick the Mule's ass, 

you want to hear all about it?

You are the best lover  and most manly man I have ever had.... Maria purred

Gary wondered just how many others there had been....

I want to be your regular girlfriend, Gary

Like, can I move in?

Let's not get ahead of ourselves, Maria, we just met...

Yeah but you LOVE me, right Father Gary? she said
 with the possessive gauzy gaze of a stage five clinger

Of course I love you, as Jesus loves you Maria...
Gary equivocated as his mind whirled with panic

Before Maria could process this, Piotr opened the door,
 Oh shit, both Gary and Maria thought aloud.

For a moment Piotr is frozen in shock....

But that shock quickly turns into pure rage....

...the enraged Piotr charges Gary

The Polish muscleman is even bigger than Father Gary! Piotr was built like a truck, thick and solid. He was at least 2 inches taller and must have outweighed Gary by twenty pounds, and all of it muscle!

Piotr pins Gary to the wall with a hammerlock 

The Polish Musclebear cranks the trapped arm
 higher and higher

Both men grunt and growl as their  huge muscles swell
 and explode 

Piotr struggles with all his might to keep the powerful Gary under his control....

Maria stares in awe at the straining, flexing muscles of Gary,
  it is the most erotic sight she has ever seen 

Slowly, inch by inch, Gary begins to work his arm free....

Huge biceps work against huge biceps....

Gary is over powering Piotr's grip...

... for the first time a man is overcoming Piotr's hold

Gary breaks free!  

The two Titans face off....

After I kick your  hypocrite ass Pastor, my brothers Fryderyk
 and Aleksy will each have a go at you, hope your Church offers
 good major medical!

I will just beat the living crap out of them,
they way you are going to get a major beating,!

That is big talk preacher man, care to try and back it up?

We are not soft Americans, like you and Mule!

We were both hard enough when we were inside your sister!
-- Gary blurted out

Taking advantage of the tradie's dumbfounded surprise at
 this revelation, Gary applies a  karate kick to Piotr's throat

BAMMM!

Gary's size 14 foot powered by his bodybuilder leg
 and massive glutes....

...crushes Piotr's larynx  and jugular 

Gary grabs Piotr by his injured throat....

Gary is like a wolf with his captured prey

Gary chokes Piotr

Who is going to be needing major medical, again?

That all you got, big guy?

Gary's nerve strike displayed his MMA training

Gary knew the pressure point vulnerabilities
 of the human body

Damn this is usually more effective, what is this guy
 a damn Cyborg?

What is this damn Polish troglodyte made of?
It is like fighting something out of a horror movie...

Oh good, the brute is finally beginning to give!

I call this this my VULCAN NECK PINCH!--Gary gloated
AAARGH! --replied Piotr

Gary spun the stunned Pole around, 
and into a flying rear chokehold

Gary squeezed Piotr like a giant Boa constrictor!

Countdown to your naptime Piotr!

Fuck you preacher man!

That's it Piotr, expend what little breath you have left!

You ain't breaking this hold Piotr,
you're just expending more oxygen!

Damn, this is giving me SUCH a boner, don't look Tim Tebow! --thought Gary

Nice muscles, Dude.  When I'm done with your sister, 
I might just fuck you

Gary grounds Piotr, who attempts to roll
 on top of the Preacher

Gary merely tightens his grip in response!

Piotr is weakening!

Gary applies more pressure!

If you were naked, I would slide my dick in your ass right now....

Just so you know, I'm gonna fuck your sister whenever I want,
Gary snarled overcome with alpha male dominance

Piotr finally blacks out, and Gary dumps him
 in the tub to sleep it off

The horned up Gary has another go at Maria,
as Piotr slumbers and Tim Tebow weeps

No one has ever beat Pitor in a fight...it was so incredible to
 watch, your muscles in action, were so damn hot...

After this fourth go with Maria, the Polish HBB was chattering away about her future plans with Gary, as the Pastor lay distracted by lustful thoughts of Piotr and the erotic thrill of his battle with the tradie hunk. Maria asked him a question, and then repeated it, but Gary was lost in thoughts of sweat and muscle.  Maria then understand that Gary had not paid attention to what she had been saying...and then her face clouded as she finally realized that Gary was just not that into her save as a cum receptor. She got up and cursing in Polish, began hurling objects at Gary which he managed to deflect.  She then dressed and stormed off continuing to rant in Polish. Maria drove off, having first slashed the tires and smashed a few windows on Gary's van.   With Maria gone, and horned up from the fight, Gary dragged Piotr's ass out of the tub and threw him into the shower with the cold water running to revive the still unconscious muscle beast.

"Wakey, wakey, big man.... It's time for round two.  Get those wet clothes off and fight me naked like a man...with our asses on the line..." Gary challenged. 

The opponents are surprisingly well matched in muscularity!  The magnificent hairy bodies are stretched into one painful hold after another as the combatants show no mercy.  It is brutal and sadistic.  Piotr gets a top mount and has a heyday raining haymakers down to every bruised and throbbing part of Gary's succulent and rugged body.   Gary responds with a a swift powerful and totally unexpected jab upward of right knee into the huge dangling and unprotected balls of Piotr.  The tough Piotr shakes off the knee nut shot and grasping Gary's left foot, Piotr quickly elicits sob and moans from his opponent with deft manipulations of the tendons and bone of the foot.  At the time, Piotr gets payback by kicking his huge foot into the huge exposed hairy nutsack of the helpless Gary.  The foot lands with a sickening thud that brings an agonized bellow from the nearly castrated Pastor.   The acrid odors of heavy sweat are joined by the pungent aroma of stale smegma, piss and dried pussy juice as both the combatants' dicks come to full pulsing hard, spasming and oozing shamelessly in their exertions.  It is apparent to both that a long hard victory rape is going to happen any moment now. 

The wrestling was brutal and vicious, but in the end, Gary was victorious and he fucked the shit of Piotr's muscular glutes. But this time it was PIOTR  rather than Mule  who clawed the sheets and screamed out the Pastor's name in ecstatic rapture. 

"I have never been with a man before..." confessed Piotr...."I know it is a sin, but I think I LOVE YOU, Father Gary!"   

Gary frowned. "Were all the people in that family a bunch of stage five clingers? - neither one knows the difference between falling in love with a person from falling in love with having a big dick inside your body" ---he thought angrily.  Still feeling aggressively dominant he just ordered Piotr to get to work on the bathroom, while he went to the kitchen for a snack.  

His stomach full, regrets flooded over him in successive waves of guilt and shame.  He needed to get help...he had to get back on the path of righteousness.


Epilogue:

Maria entered a nunnery as a novice, having sworn off men.

 After beating up Mule for fucking Maria, and leaving the blond rapscallion to explain yet another shiner and fat lip at work, Piotr took an extended vacation.  (Well at least he didn't bring his two brothers into help Mule pay reparations for his bro code violations!)  So off Piotr went, taking a trip to the Holy Land, to walk in the footsteps of Jesus, as pilgrim and penitent.  This he felt would expiate his guilt for his unnatural and unseemly love of the pastor.  

He hooked up with a  super hot blonde American Catholic chick named Amanda and this led him to a kind of spiritual re-awakening of his faltering heterosexuality, Praise Jesus.

Praise Jesus!

 Gary realizing he was in great spiritual danger, went to the bishop to confess his sins and seek help in fighting his demons.  The bishop was kind and understanding, and sends Gary for spiritual rehabilitation in Minnesota.  

Many a wayward Pastor had found rehabilitation
 for their various trespasses here

They had a beautiful campus with many nice amenities
 to go with all the soul bleaching

The highlight of Gary's time at this Priory of Penitent Pastors was when Tim Tebow came to give a motivational talk on the challenges of  resisting sexual temptations.  With all the hawt pussy that had thrown itself at Tebow over the years, he was clearly was an expert at forgoing such temptation. Gary bought copies of Shaken and Through My Eyes, even though he already owned them, just to have signed copies, he also got additional posters (also signed) for motivation at the Presbytery and Gym.

The day after fawning over Tebow, Gary took a dip in the pool
 all aglow with a feeling of benighted blessedness

Gary settles back to read a bb magazine, gets a bit horny, has a WWTTD reflection and does a few push ups to exorcise the gay with exercise.

Damn Phil Heath is HAWT!!!

I hope I look as good as Mike O'Hearn when I am 47...WOOF!

Damn, Satan's flag is flying from my fuckpole!

Damn think of  Tim Tebow, think of  Tim Tebow...
No, that is just making me way, WAY hornier...
think of Jesus, think of Jesus...NO NOT BUFF JESUS!

I wonder what those studs Mule and Piotr are up to...
Damn stay focused, stay focused, if Tim Tebow let himself get
 distracted like this would he be such a  great quarterback?
...uh... I mean baseball outfielder!

I know this is nothing but a source of temptation for me, why do
 I keep buying these...

Jesus, give me the strength to resist this temptation....

Doing some push ups to get mind off the mag and his growing dick...

22, 23, 24, 25....damn still got a boner...shouldn't the blood
be flowing ELSEWHERE BY NOW?

Tim Tebow is counting on you Gary,
STAY STRONG don't let the Timster down!

I think this calls for switching to  chest slapping  pushups!
Need to increase the difficulty!

Maybe 25 more of the chest slapping push-ups?

That worked....PRAISE JESUS!

After some additional calisthenics, Gary had worked up quite the pump!

I should be in a bodybuilder magazine...

I would definitely earn the cover....

Not to mention a full inside spread....

I could talk about my killer lat workouts,
or how I got these great glutes....

As you readers can no doubt tell, after a week in Minnesota, Gary was still struggling with his demons... but what you don't know is that the great tempter SATAN had taken the guise of a hunky young pastor from Canada named Justin.  Justin was simply, by far, the most beautiful man that Gary had ever laid eyes on.  While his body was not as spectacular as his face, not being nearly as muscular as Gary, the Canadian heartthrob still sported a buff, ripped athletic physique that could impress the judges at the fitness competitions.  He was in Gary's Sexual Addiction group and the presence of this green-eyed Canadian Casanova was greatly diminishing the effectiveness of the sessions for Gary. 

Justin

When Justin smiled Gary heard heavenly choirs singing, and sadly for Gary's redemption, Justin tended to smile a great deal. His ministry was in a rough part of Toronto where he worked with addicts, gang-bangers and ex-cons and as a result, he had a devilish bad-boy persona unusual in Pastors, and so very, very sexy.  So of course, no sooner than Gary had rid himself of his raging boner, when who does Satan send to the pool area, but his greatest temptation to date, Justin.

Fawk it's Justin!

BOING!  And the boner is BACK!

Whoa!  Where did HE come from?

He is supposed to be in  Reflective Bible Study at  this time...
that Renegade!

FAWK! He is coming this way!

Stay strong Gary!  Stay strong!

He's seen me, he's waving, no way to sneak off now,
HELP ME JESUS!

Justin pauses, lights up a cigarette, despite the pool area being demarcated as a no-smoking area.  Gary sits down and buries himself back in his muscle magazine, as it is far less temptation than the delicious Justin.  Justin takes a few drags, and then puts out the ciggie on the deck before strutting over to squat next to Gary's deck chair. 

"Damn Gary, you are looking pumped, have you been working out again?"

"I was doing some exercises to focus my spiritual energy."

"That's the spirit Gary, be sure to bring that up in Sexual Addiction group instead of just sitting there gawking at me and drooling like the village idiot."

Gary spluttered out an attempted retort, but all that came out was a stuttering spray of incomprehensible, incoherent, gibberish syllables.

"Yeah...like THAT...it is most unbecoming...because otherwise you are a MAJOR hottie."

Unlike Gary, Justin was not here voluntarily, but because of an unfortunate incident which became public, his attendance at the retreat was thus COMPULSORY.

"Speaking of hotties, look who just got in the pool BEEFCAKE BRIAN!"

Man, what an ass!

Brian hailed out of Montana, and was a muscular cowboy providing pastoral advice where the buffalo roam and the deer and the antelope play.  Besides counseling cowhands, Brian had brought his mission work to the brothels of Bozeman, which is why he had ended up at the retreat. 

"I'd tap THAT ASS, wouldn't you, Gary?"

"That is NOT why we are here, Justin!"

"I'd say that is exactly why most of us ended up here, Gary."

Remember my talk Gary, remember my talk!

"Don't forget what Tim Tebow talked about yesterday..."

"Oh yeah, that's ANOTHER ass I would like to tap, wouldn't you, Gary?"

Gary frowned:  "How about we talk about something else?"

Justin flashed one of his killer smiles:  " I know, why don't I give those bulging muscles of yours a massage, they are probably needing some pampering after that workout..."

"I don't know it that is such a good id..."

"Even Tim Tebow gets massages, couldn't be wrong if Tebow gets massages." interjected Justin flashing dazzling pearly whites, clearly he used whitening strips to counter the nicotine.

He's got a point,
said the Tim Tebow voice
 in Gary's head

Justin set to work, kneading the knots from Gary's muscles

Justin had the magic touch,
and Gary's fuckpole was once again at full mast

Gary tried to imagine Hillary Clinton naked.
 but even that old trick wasn't working

How about we lower the back of this chair,
and I give your ENTIRE body the treatment

Do you think that is such a good idea, Justin....?

Sure, it will be fine, we are in pubic,
what could possibly go wrong, Gary?

Okay, you beat me THIS time, Satan,
but I will get Gary back on track, you'll see!

FIN

FURTHER READING:

Mule and the Beach Evangelist

Beach Preach Part Two: Mule Finds Religion

Mule and the Intersex Chick

Mule and the Intersex Chick: Deleted Scenes

Guilt and Glory: A Prequel to Shenanigans in the Presbytery

and the next story in the 
GARY AND FRIENDS SAGA:

Gary and Beefcake Brian at the Religious Retreat

For those unfamiliar with Tim Tebow