The Adventures of Mulecules

THE ADVENTURES AND LEGEND OF MULECULES

as told by Professor Mule, Mythologist.

Once upon a time, the heavily muscled bodybuilder Zeus came down from Olympus Gym and spied the loveliest of maidens, Alcmene.  

Muscle Daddy Zeus!

He immediately popped some solid wood, and wanted her as a solid side chick, and not just one of his randoms.  But his main girl Hera was a jealous bish, and he had to be...discrete...or she would hide his thunderbolts and post shit about him on social media, which might be read by his mom, Rhea, and his ganny Gaia.  Zeus didn't need no complications...

That bish, Hera!

So Zeus assumed the form of a Mule  (don't ask, Zeus was always doing shit like this) and fucked Alcmene like she had never been fucked before.  From this coupling, our hero Mulecules was born. 

By the time Mulecules was two, Zeus had already moved on, and was humping this chick Europa in the form of a bull.  Go figuh! 

Sup, Europa!

Some how Mulecules got discovered by Hera, that bish was ALWAYS nosing around looking for trouble. She was a stage 5 clinger and a real psycho bish let me tell ya!  She sent these two big ass snakes, I am talking Burmese pythons in the Everglades sized snakes, to deal with poor Mulecules when he was still a tyke.   

They coiled around each arm and were hissing at each other over who would get to swallow Mulecules, when the little lifter-in-the-making  turned both of the reptiles into strength bands and put in some resistance training, building his muscles bigger and stronger.

That bish Hera, backed off for a bit, but she continued to harass Mulecules from time to time as   Mulecules got good at beating the crap out of the various monsters and henchmen, Hera flung at him.

Mulecules was growing up, so finally when Mulecules had grown to a strapping lad he decided that something had to be done about this bish Hera!

So he got in his chariot and took himself  down in that sweet ride, with his best side chick by his side,, to the temple of Hera in the city of Olympia.  

I am going to leave you off at the next town,
and you can make your own way back home.
Thanks for all the good fucks along the way,
 it made this long journey fly by!

He spotted her tending to her sacred geese, and came up behind her and shoved that bish up against a sundial, then bent her over it . With a big brawny hand , he hiked up her chiton and pushed down her perizoma taking her poon from behind doggie style.  After that Hera didn't give Mulecules no more trouble, in fact she became one of his best side chicks, and he would run interference for Dad when Zeus was off banging some new HB10 , and assuming the form of  a goose, or as a golden shower (very kinky) or whatever strange sex shit he was up to on that occasion.  Hera was more than satisfied with the arrangement, and chilled out on naggin'  on Pop Zeus after having some Mulecules dick time.

Sup, Hera!
SMOOOOCHHHHHH

After that first fuck, 

Hera was all over Mulecules' junk, 

that bish was insatiable and totally in love!

Forget Zeus, Mulecules, you're the only one I love now....

Mulecules and Hera fucked off and on for many years!
"Ohhhhhhh Mulecules,
you fuck soooooo good!"--she would coo.
and he would just say: "I know, babe, I know."

For many years, and over many adventures, Hercules had been immune to the snares of any female, and it was always Wham, Bam, Thank you M'am, as he traveled about the land doing heroic shit.  Then it happened, he was down in Corinth for Spring Break, when he Spotted  this HB10 at a club.  He was immediately smitten and knew he had to have her as his main chick...

Her name was Megara, and her pops was King Creon, which complicated things, but despite being a Princess, she wasn't no stuck up bish. When his heart stopped palpitatin' he got the gears in his noggin' spinnin' on how he was going to conquer this babe. 

So Mulecules played it cool, being an alpha muscleman and not no AFC and didn't approach her all drooly and panting like most of these Bronze Age losers would, but instead pretended not to notice her,  What he did was start flexing his massive muscles, so that all the tavern nymphs were swooning, and the tunic cloud AFCs were flocking around him asking him stupid lifting questions that showed they didn't know shit from Shinola about bodybuilding.

FLEX! FLEX! FLEX!

It wasn't long before Megara had joined the flock around Mulecules and was admirin' and feeling his massive muscles!

Megara was now as smitten with Mulecules as Mulecules was with Megara and it wasn't long before she was giving Mulecules a Blumpkin in the privy.  She was his main squeeze for a long time, but Mulecules being Mulecules, he continued to have his side chicks and assorted randoms. This being Ancient Greece and all, he also had a large number of male lovers as well.   He even once did it with this hot centaur called Nessus after first giving him a serious beatdown, but that is a tale for another time. 

Mulecules gives the centaur Nessus

 a severe beatdown, 

then fucks the horseman good!

Another episode of Mulecules' adventures that stands out is when he was hangin' with his bud King Thespius in the palace of the city of Thespiae.  The King be like: "Mulecules I need you to kill this badass lion for me,"   

"What's in it for the Mulecules? I ain't killing some big ass kitty unless it involves PUSSY for me!"

"Well", offers the desperate King, "You can fuck each and every one of my daughters, all fifty of them, the only catch is you have to fuck as many as you can in a single night!"

"Both challenges, accepted"--Mulecules was looking forward to some major putang, as all of them sloots sired by the King were HB 9.5s and above!

So Mulecules goes up against the lion:

He makes short shrift of the putty cat, and made it into a nice rug for his pal the King.  While he is busy fucking all 50 of the hot Thespiaen sloots, social media is blowing up about the lion, making Mulecules seem all the villain and shit.  After all this was wasn't the first lion he had killed. There was that incident in Nemea, and now there was this second lion, who apparently the locals had given a name despite it eating their children and livestock and shit.  

Mulecules is so busy humpin' sloots that he doesn't know about all that until he finished with his cock crowing number 50 as the other sort of cock crowed for dawn.  He was icing down his large, but tuckered penor, when the minstrels be singing about Mulecules the lion murderer. He strangled the minstrels with their own lyre strings, and blew town.

THE FIFTY SLOOT DAUGHTERS OF THESPIUS

So Mulecules blows into Calydon, which is some ancient Greek shithole, I reckon, and he was at a sportin' event with his pal Jamalios, when he eyeballs this solid 10/10 HB.  Jamalios warns Mulecules that this girl is called Deianira, and she is a notorious man-eater, but Mulecules was so infatuated, he was not paying Jamalios no mind.  He was not the only one droolin' and pantin' in pursuit of the lovely Deianira, there was also this rather annoying AFC, Achelous.  Why this runt thought he had a shot with the hot babe when there was Mulecules around is a mystery that defies the ages.     

Piss off  AFC runt, this babe is all mine!!!

Deianira was being all coy, aloof and stand-offish, so Mulecules hit her with some of his best flexing.

This certainly caught, Deianira's eye and soon it was this HB 10/10's turn to be a pantin' and a droolin'! 

Oh that Mulecules, whatta man,
I want to marry him!!!

 Still that pesky, AFC Achelous would not quit sniffing around his current Designated Chick, although anybody with any sense could see she was clearly marked with PROPERTY OF MULECULES, so our hero had to take the time to make an example of him, to any other AFC who might dare to hone in on his action.

It wasn't long before Deianira was polishing Mulecules' knob and taking in Mulecules' special blend of protein shake. 

It's good for the complexion too, bish!

Loincloth-sniffers from all over Greece gathered at Mulecules' gym eager to have a crack at the huge muscled dynamo and his now legendary donger.  There was Nireus, Elacatus, Abderus, Sostratus, Admetus, Diomedes, Perithoas, and many more.  Mulecules would have them face off against one another in feats of athleticism and strength to see who would be worthy of his attentions for the night.

Any of you bottoms want to ARM WRESTLE??!!

"Always make a grand entrance, boys!"

"I am impressed by guys who can lift heavy things,
think any of you can lift this?"

"I'm winning Mulecules
tonight, chump!"

Sometimes the boys wore Mulecules clean out!!!

On occasion, the big guy just wanted to be alone!

The youth that caught Mulecules attention beyond all others, was the beautiful Hylas.

HYLAS

 The moment he laid eyes on the beautiful youth, he burned for him with a desire he had never felt for any other. 

Hylas was fully cognizant of the power of his beauty, and wielded it like a sword.  The biggest playa in all of Hellas, Mulecules, found his own heart being played like a lyre by the seductive Hylas. The legendary hero became a big slobbering chump around Hylas, becoming wrapped tightly around the lad's little finger. There wasn't anything he wouldn't do or get for Hylas  He was also ferociously jealous of the young heartthrob, and Greece soon became littered with the broken and battered bodies of those whom Mulecules suspected of sniffing around his man.

He's MINE!!!!!!!

 

I WARNED you fucks!

The young stud became Mulecules chief lover and boon companion, and they had many adventures together. 

But Mulecules was not the only one that was gaga for Hylas, the gods and goddesses also lusted after the comely young bravo, making Mulecules existence a living hell as they sought to wrest the lad away from Mulecules strong embrace.

Damn, look at that Hylas, I want to hit that!!!

Back off Hylas, Mulecules,
or I am going to start hurling Thunderbolts!

Fuck you, Zeus, Hylas is MINE ALL MINE!

Sailing away with my boy Hylas, eh Mulecules?
 Time to do some spear fishing with my trident!

Sup, Hylas, how ya liking King Poseidon?
You think Mulecules has a big cock...
wait until you see MY sea snake!

But Mulecules didn't have a chance, when Hylas, caught the eye of Aphrodite, and that bish lured Hylas away using all of her feminine wiles. Aphrodite became Hylas' main squeeze with some 10/10 nymphs being his side bishes.

Sup, Hylas

WHAT'S UP, BISHES!

Mulecules pined for Hylas, and resolved never to give his heart to another and risk such pain again. Mulecules focused on a life of lifting, brawling and fucking, to forget about the love of his life, Hylas through discipline and distraction.  Thus he once again became a total playa, using and losing lovers across the known world. 

Sup, bishes!!!

"Now calm yourself friend, I didn't know those
 bishes were your wife and daughters.
They were all some great fucks, you should feel proud!"

 He left a trail of broken hearts in his wake.    One time this HB10 he was schtooping  didn't take too well to him riding away into the sunset in his chariot, after a glorious night of banging the fuck out of her.   This was one crazy, Fatal Attraction, crazy ass, stage 5 clinger bish, who tracked him down.  She sent him a poisoned set of  fine new threads with a note sayin' they were from an "anonymous admirer",  Mulecules was always getting gifts like that from sloots, and put the robes on.  His body soon burned like fire from the poison, and he desperately tore the offending garments from his flesh.

It was too late, the poison consumed him, but being the son of  Zeus, it could not kill him, although he continued to writhe in agony, in a limbo of living death.  He hollered up to Heaven for his Dad, hoping for some relief.  His Pops, took pity on his progeny, and set Mulecules up into the heavens: to flex for all time.

ROLL EXIT THEME: